Cinema_PSYOPS_EP500: Giant Monsters FSU: Godzilla vs. Megalon 1973 (Main Feed)
There is very little time or point in an explanation.
To be blunt, the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has
collapsed at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of
existence. Operational time in the dimensional continuum where
the beings that created the audio collapsed in on itself,
rendering all of their civilization, including technology, null and
void. Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema Psyops.
10 years. Man 10. 10 years.
10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.
10. 10 years. 10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.
Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of
you. And if this is the case, you. Wouldn'T have any control over it.
The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality.
Our planet is trying to tell us. Something, but we don't seem to be listening.
A recent study has suggested that one. Third of annual deaths
due to heat are directly related to global warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,
which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on fire
in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing effect
of the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting
more fires on top of the radiation if they happen to have survived
poisoning people to death. On top of all that, each one of these
fires creates a mega fire that is a hundred or
more square miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and
changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema
PsyOps. A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking
place. Biotechnology has been progressing at
stunning speed, giving us the tools to eventually gain control over
biology. Solving the deadliest diseases while also
creating viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs,
able to devastate humanity. It's man returning
to the most primal, violent state as people
fight over the tiny resources that
remain. What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or a simulation?
Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer game you are playing right
now, when it ends, you would be what causes the end of the world.
Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing this game
of life. Because when you wake up or unplug, there's a chance the
rest of us will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across
the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has
a nexus that centers on Cinema Psyops.
10 years. 10 years.
And welcome to the 500th consecutive week
of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Cort, the motherfucking guy that
cannot believe that we made it to this motherfucking milestone of an episode.
And joining me in the dismay that we have to cover Godzilla vs.
Megalon to talk about it is the guy doing the notes and my co host,
Matt. Yeah,
I don't know. Fuck it. How's it going? Not too bad. It wasn't terrible.
It wasn't actually bad at all. Yeah, I'm just giving everyone
shit. No, actually I do think that this is possibly the
worst Kaiju film we're going to cover. And it wasn't even that bad.
Yeah, but okay, so we skipped all Monsters Attack because it
was all stock footage. And I'm going to point out every single piece
of stock footage in this film because I'd say a good 60% of
the model work and this is all just reused from other films.
All right, I'm going to try and point it out the best that I can.
And basically like I've been trying to do,
whenever there's stock footage, I'm going to call it out. I did it in my
notes last week quite a bit. And what I can recall from
my stoned ass watching yours in a hurry this morning so that we could still
get this squeezed in. Yeah, I'll try and recall all of
that as well. So we got another short truncated timetable to
do this in and basically as we sort of discussed a little bit last week
and we can kind of, I guess, bellyache a little bit more. These fucking films
are really hard to cover. They're hard cover. Like all my
clips I think at max are one minute long.
They're shorter now thanks to me. I took a quick pass over.
Shorten everything. Yeah, but I'm just saying, I mean, it's still just
amazingly little dialogue comparatively
to the action, which is good, I guess. You know, mine was
a lot more mouthy and I'm going to be bellyaching that obviously. Yeah,
you know, I'm talking about mine. Obviously yours. Yours is a bit different
than mine. Yeah, mine was like a weird amalgamation of trying to do
a bunch of things and I got into that already. I'm not going to dig
too deep into it. Even though we're clearly recording this before we record that one,
I'm going to have to remember all the shit that I say. So. Yeah,
the less I make declarative statements about things I did in the past when I'm
recording before I actually do that episode that comes out in the past,
the less I'm going to seem like a weird ass fool in retrospect when somebody
hears this episode. Word I just think it's funny because I'm
just like, fuck. You know, we were so concerned if
I had an English dubbed part of this movie. And I'm like, it really didn't
even need it, I guess. No, I didn't get all the clippies I
wanted. I only got 10 clips. It's hardly anything. Yeah, well,
and that I'll. I'll hopefully we'll remember to have given that on the previous
episode, the actual story. That's what's going on. And if not, whatever, we'll just leave
that dangling and I'll feel even more like an idiot for making more declarative statements
right after I said I shouldn't be doing that. But what fucking. It doesn't fucking
matter. I mean, this is just a podcast we do for a hobby to distract
us from the fact that we're living on a planet that is rapidly dying and
that psychopaths are basically stomping on the accelerator to make that happen
faster. Welcome to the end of Western civilization, boys and
girls and anybody else, you know, whatever your
pronouns are are. I want to include everyone. Hey, everyone. We're all
fucked, so might as well sit down, get high,
have a drink, don't do any of that. Maybe just get a snack,
listen to the fucking show while we talk about giant monsters and how
we'd rather live in that reality than the current one we're in now.
I can't do any better than that. That's a perfect intro. Before we get into
the weird ass mess that has Godzilla versus Megalon, let's take the
break here, just like we've been doing all along. All songs released in the same
year as the film. So for the pirate radio edit. And up first
is Dr. John with the song Right Place,
Wrong Time, immediately following this on the pirate radio edit.
This will keep you quiet. Oh, hi there. I didn't.
There is some discussion that our broadcasts are too blunt and to the
point. We offer you a children's song from a lost world to explain your
predicament.
The sky has turned a crimson hue Whispers
in the wind they speak of doom the earth
is crying in shades of blue the end is
near we all assume the
end of the world is coming it's like
a final serenade We've
done some soul horse in the Twilight
Parade the
fields we wander once so green now
they've withered Barely seen We hold
on tight to this routine as if
it mattered in this scene the
world is coming it's like a final serenade
we dance until the morning in
this twilight parade Stars
fall from the heavens Our tears blend
with the rain in the silence
that follows we'll remember the day
it's like a final serenade we
dance until morning in the twilight
parade.
I know that probably the time frames don't match up, but you're gonna have a
really hard time convincing me that Dr. Teeth wasn't influenced by
Dr. John. Yeah, yeah, I think so. At least in some way,
shape or form. I feel
like at least if he was already created before Dr. John came along,
that a lot of what's going on with Dr. Teeth and his band Electric
Mayhem is probably influenced by at least a lot of stuff going
on with Dr. John. I'm just. But we're not here to talk about animals.
Supposed to be John Bonham though.
Could be, yeah. He's supposed to be a Madden drummer. There's a lot of different
things. But we're not here to talk about those folks being puppeted about. We're here
to talk about people in giant fucking monster suits fucking shit
up with Godzilla versus Megalom. So let's get into that. Word up.
All right, so Godzilla versus Megalon.
The first 20 minutes starts. There's some nuclear testing
and it's happening underground by the United States and it's even affecting
Monster Island. We. That was all
stock footage. Everything there was stock footage. Why do you think all the gas was
yellow around them? And the blowing up mountain was the alien base from Destroy
All Monsters exploding. Oh, damn. Look at
you already calling it out. All right,
God damn it, you got me all fucked up. All right, I'm going to kid
play. Yeah, we have a little kid playing in some water and two dudes who
are watching and taking pictures. Fucking pervs. One of them's
even related to him. Which doesn't make it any fucking better, you know. No,
it's just. It's just bad. All right, then there's an earthquake and
there's a glowing in the water. Well, they get the kid out of there and
then a huge crack opens up and all the water drains.
They're driving back to their home. Is leads us to
our first clip. It is feared many lives have been
lost. According to the National Seismic Institute, the disturbances were undoubtedly
caused by the nuclear test. They also warned that more tremors are
expected. Incredible, isn't it? What the hell are they trying to do? Wipe us
all out or something? Yeah, you're right. They'll kill the whole world off when they
submerge the land and drown us all. We'll vanish like mu and Lemuria.
What's that? Where's those places? I never heard of them before. I'll tell
you. They were continents that existed a long time ago. One in the Pacific,
one in the Indian Ocean. Then one day there was a big earthquake and they
both vanished. Mind you, I must say the majority of historians believe
they only existed in legend. All right, a couple of things here. First of all,
we were alluding to the guys taking pictures of the kid and being pervy
just because it made an easy joke. Fact of the matter is,
one of them is actually the parent of that kid or like, his uncle.
A brother. Brother, okay. And he's taking care of him. But they're testing
out this, like, animatronic, like, toy for kids to
take out on water that the kid gets to test out. And then the friend
jokingly says that he's going to test out as well. That's actual
stories that we have to talk about. And then they kind of get into
this bullshit a little bit more with the. What do they call them?
The. I forget. The. It's not Atlanteans, but they're supposed
to be Atlanteans. We'll know their name here shortly, hopefully in one of your clips.
But these undersea people that are actually trapped in the center of the Earth
are the new threat that are threatening Earth that is going to have to
have Godzilla protect it once again. But this time, literally the threat
comes from within because they've been living in the middle of the Earth
somewhere, creating their own oxygen and water and a bunch of other things
like. Yeah, that all gets told in another clip. Don't ruin it.
Yeah, but okay, but anyway, like, it's. It's like this lost city of
Atlantis is the threat this time. Instead of external aliens,
we have an internal threat. It's just an odd change of
pace for these films. And I just wanted to point that out. That's all right.
So good points on that.
So, all right, we get back home and two guys jump them
and are able to escape. So they go
to check out in the place. Their place was like a laboratory is all trashed.
So one of the guys goes chasing after the two. Well, the other two,
the young. The young child and the. Her brother or
his brother. I. I don't even know if it was a boy or.
That's not really answered. They clean up the place and
the kid finds sand. Well, the two guys who are trying to escape,
the bad guys, they lose the other dude by using, like, a little
fire thing that starts a fire. So he can't follow them.
And this leads to our next clip. Don't get it at all.
Well, they wouldn't go to this trouble for nothing. They must have been after something
of yours. Well, what's this? One of them must have dropped a
button. Yeah. Hey, look. It's the same color as that bit. Of sand I found.
So it is. You found some sand? This is. Is sort of
red. Probably off their shoes. I found it over near the robot.
Yeah, that was one of your one minute clips that cut down to 19 seconds.
Exactly. Yeah. So they do some
science to figure out where the sand came from. And they complete the
robot he's building. So the other guy
shows up, this kid's working on a mini bike. Actually, that story goes nowhere.
I wrote in my notes they could. Maybe we'd see it later. We don't.
Then the two dudes doc talk. And that is our next clock.
Okay. Hi there.
Oh, nearly finished, eh? Almost ready.
We've been checking over that sand we found here. It's from Estrada,
30 miles below the seabed. You sure? Yeah. The only other place you'll
find it is on Easter Island. Easter Island? Where's that? It's an uninhabited
island 2,000 miles east of Tahiti. It's mainly famous because of a
very peculiar discovery that was made there. Some huge statues overlooking the sea.
They're said to be over 3 million years old. Well, that doesn't
help. I'm bad. It makes it worse.
It's working great. You meet it at
last. You know what I'll call him
Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar, eh? Not bad.
You're right, it suits him. That's a great name. Oh,
for fuck's sakes. Well, we say the place is bugged and the bad guys are
listening. So they grab the kid, who's out on his bike and they use the
kid to get into the lab and knock everyone out with these little like knockout
guns that they have. Yeah, they call their base Within. Folks are actually
less violent and hateful than a lot of the other.
Like the cockroach aliens we were dealing with in Edgar suits last week were significantly
worse. Yes, yes, this is also true.
Then they decide they call their base and we find out they're going to use
the robot to lead Megalon to its target. And that's
the end of the first 20 minutes. As I said, this movie
actually goes pretty damn fast. The kidnapping camping of the kid
was pretty brutal. I'd like to focus in on that because the kid annoys me
and he suffers quite a bit from These guys. So same,
they have the kid try to pull like A Ernie Reyes Jr.
Where like he actually knows some martial arts and actually could fuck up an adult.
But the kid doesn't do it well. And that's whenever they first knock out the
brother earlier and the kid goes and charges him and they kick the fucking kid
into the wall and that little actor actually gets kicked across the
room and into a fucking wall. Like it happens.
That shit is hardcore. Yeah. And then he'
riding that annoying ass fucking tiny little stupid fucking pocket bike that's
supposed to be cute and fun for him to be riding as a little kid.
Although it's clearly him just riding it on the sidewalk being a fucking menace
like all children are. And so when they go to kidnap,
agreed. They come zooming in with the fucking car. They pull up
just in front of him, they open up one of those giant ass fucking 70s
style car doors. Even though in Japan the cars were smaller, that thing was made
of solid steel and would really fucking hurt. And they
have the kid drive the pocket bike right into the fucking door.
There's no stunt in that. That's the same kid crashing
that bike right into the fucking door. And he face plants into that shit
too. It's. It's painful.
It's fucking hardcore. Then the kid like gets up, he's a little bit dazed,
and then they just fucking grab him and shake him around a bit like he
may have some head trauma, but let's not worry about the little actor
in real life. Let's just toss him into the back of the car like
you would be throwing a kid onto a bed where they're going to be landing
safely. However, there's like glass and steel and all sorts
of things jutting out in the back of a 70s car that they just throw
the kid at. What do you want? I mean, the kids already
can cuss. Who cares? They'll bounce back, rip some dirt on it.
Yes, because we know that brain trauma in children is never a
big deal, right? That they always bounce back. No, they'll bounce back. He's fine.
He's fine. Hey, you know what we all learned kids can walk that off.
Severe brain trauma. That's. I'm so sure that's a thing.
We're going to have to get a rolling on it. And as a matter of
fact, it's a thing for children. It kind of. Yeah, all right,
I understand. Let's move on with that very dower note. All right, we'll do
that. All right, let's get back into it. In the next 20. All right,
the next 20. We now visit this new society.
And that is our next clip. Oh, people,
today Seatopia goes to Washington.
After 3 million years of peace, we finally have to fight.
We don't want to, but the people of Earth leave us no choice.
With their nuclear test, they have already destroyed
a third of our country. No more.
Seatopia will strike back. For today,
the Earthmen now will have to take their own medicine.
That's right. For I will unleash Megalon
to protect our land, our underwater world.
Megalon. Megalon, Wake up.
Megalon. Come on. Rise up now
to the Earth's surface. Destroy the Earth.
Destroy our enemies. Rise up.
Go on, Megalon.
I forget what they're called, and I didn't really listen to it because we were
talking through the clip, because we're just excited little children every time we record together.
But these undersea people that were like the
Lost Continent, that are somehow linked to Easter island,
their outfits in their underground lair. Feels so out of place in
this film. It makes no sense. It really does. And it's kind of weird that
Timo John Conway is in this movie.
Seriously. What the fuck, man? It looks like Earl from
accounting is going to a fucking swingers orgy or
something. Yeah, it's real uncomfortable. It's like when you get to see what
that one dude from HR that everybody knows is a creeper like, gets to
do in his private life. It's this movie the way that it's. Like,
we're going to a Roman toga party. That's an orgy. It's like,
oh, God. Jesus Christ, Phil. I didn't need to see the pictures of
that. Also, that's completely unoriginal, Phil. Can't you figure
out a better way to get off with a bunch of other people? Yeah,
I mean, you know, the orgy is fine, but a Roman toga party? What are
you, in College? Phil, you're 35 years old. It's time to
start acting like it. Yeah, Roman toga party is a little cliche. Cliche? Why not
go to a onesie swingers party where you can zip in and out really quickly
and stay warm till you're ready? Now you're talking.
See, that's smart. That's smart business right there. And also.
And also. Also the food. You shouldn't have so many fork
heavy meals and an orgy that should all be finger food. What the fuck are
you doing with. A hand sanitizer fountain?
Ready for everyone? All right, Dime Store Tim Conway,
we'll Move on from you and your. Your hairy shoulders. In.
All right. Yeah. Your weird mustache.
Balding. You still have mutton chops. I mean,
what the fuck? Okay, seriously though, one more thing
I have to say about this guy and then we definitely need to move on
for time sakes. He definitely seems like the kind of guy
that would be very interested to learn that you just installed a hot tub.
Yes. Yeah, like he'd be in the bushes someplace.
Oh, look at that. The next door neighbors put in a hot tub. Julie,
Disco Stew has this guy on speed. Now let's move on.
All right, well, we cut to the guys with the robot,
and the bad guys send the robot out into the world.
The kid and his brother, they're. They're trying to get free, but they're tied in
the back of a truck in a crate. And it's really bumpy road,
so they can't get going. And all this leads to our next clip.
How much further is it to the lake? Let's see.
I reckon we should be there in an hour. Yeah. I still don't
get it though. I mean to say, why do you want to drop a container
into a crack at the bottom of a lake? What's in the thing anyway?
Anyway.
Well, the way I see it, it's none of our business anyway.
I mean, we're getting a hundred thousand yen.
Well, where are the others now? Okay, it's a done.
Thank you, lad. Reporting. The robot is at the lake.
All's ready. Well done. The inventor will be
there soon. Soon? He's on his way now with a brother. Excellent.
Our elevator is already moving upwards and. Will emerge from a crack in the lake
bed. Where are you taking my friends?
To the kingdom of Seatopia. Seatopia? That's right.
It's a country below the surface of the sea. It was engulfed in an earthquake
millions of years ago, and most of its people survived. They managed to create their
own oxygen supply and later were able to construct their own sun.
So the legend's true. We're a very advanced people. Our scientists are much superior
to yours. Well, if you're so damn clever, why still our robot? We have few
people. We need to have robots in order to build up an army.
And we don't have the time to invent them. Oh yeah? You mean you're too
dumb? Seatopia is
such a stupid name. I just have to say, Dumbest name ever. They even try.
Seatopia? Are you fucking kidding me?
It sounds like a. We're down at the bottom of the sea. What Are we
gonna call ourselves Seatopia Ghost? Genius. It's like
a failed Pixar movie that got picked up by
the company that did like over the Hedge and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, right? Yeah, no, you're exactly right. That's what it sounds
like. Christ, we need to move on. We're going to be here all day ripping
into this shit. All right, well, this guy beats up that bad guy and
he goes after the truck. Well, that bad guy radios in. He wakes up from
being knocked out, radios in about the issue that's happening.
We have a good chase scene and he's able to lose him because he's like
a race car driver. Megalov then emerges from
the water and they're going to send him to Tokyo.
The guy in the trucks, they keep hearing the reports of the army
clashing with Megalon and we can see the army caching. Well,
they want to ditch the box of the dam, but the bad guy says no,
they got to take it to that chasm. So they kick him out of the
truck and they get to the dam and the group ready to send
the box down, but Megalon shows up. Well, the other dude gets there and
says they want to, they have to get the box down. But those two guys,
guys say go yourself and they steal that guy's car.
So the dude is trying to get the. Because the box is
starting to drop into the dam. So he's trying to lower the. The whole thing
there, but he accidentally lowers it the other way and it looks like the box
is going to drop. But Megalon by happy mistake, actually hits the
box. It hurls in the air, falls to the ground. Those two
roll out. They're actually. Okay, there's no way that's
possible. And that's the end of that. 28 minutes before we go to the.
The next. Yeah, couple things. First of all,
Megalon is possibly the dumbest looking Kaiju yet.
He's. And he's also the dumbest Kaiju.
Well, at the beginning he is basically being controlled.
But yeah, he gets tricked way too fucking easy.
The only thing about him that's actually kind of neat is that his hands form
together to make a ground drill or a dragon like substance thing
that he can fly and. Or sort of drill his way
through the ground and propel himself forward, which is an interesting.
The way he comes up out of the ground is kind of cool. But that
like cross like thing on his head only got put there for one specific reason
and we'll see it later as to why they're using it for his
specific powers. But he doesn't look like, like an alien bug
kind of hybrid thing. But he mostly looks too much like a
ladybug, right? Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Which does.
I don't really find him all that threatening. He's like a ladybug with like drill
hands. Yeah. And the drill hands don't even look all that effective. Yeah, but at
least, but at least, you know, the giant bionic destruction
chicken from the last film had like hook hands and was like a little fucking
saw blade in his tummy. I mean, he's a little bit more threatening. Yeah,
exactly. He is way more threatening. I just fail to
see how Megalon is a step up. You know, it just doesn't make sense.
But then at this point it's 100% a kid's production.
I don't. Yeah, I didn't really talk about it earlier, but I think now's a
pretty good time now that we've seen Jet Jaguar actually somewhat in action.
Jet Jaguar is kind of like Toho doing Ultraman
in the Godzilla universe. Badly, right? Yes.
I mean, like, just. I don't think they are the ones that owned ultraman.
I'm not 100% sure. I can't remember.
But it was a TV series kind of at the time and I think they're
kind of making a nod at that for Ultraman. And of course a bunch of
other movies and TV shows tried to knock off Ultraman as well.
About like Inframan. There was like a Chinese movie that was made that was called
Inframan. But I fucking loved that movie.
We could probably do a crazy ass commentary about Inframan someday.
I actually know that. I mention it, but we're not
talking about that movie. No, no. But I just, I don't know. I'm not a
fan of the look of Jet Jaguar. He is very clearly
designed to try and rope in kids that like robot shows. Oh yeah.
And also his smile is creepy, man. Why did you build a smile on that
motherfucker? Probably didn't need to do that. Yeah, I mean, the design of
him 100% is trying to bring in children. He has a giant smile.
He has all three primary colors in like ringlets around
clothes or not his clothes, but like his uniform thing has like
the red, yellow and blue, like little ringlet things that go
across shoulder pad like areas and stuff. And then he's just solid
silver. And he's supposed to be like totally going for that
market for the kids. He's a friend to all kids. Because the annoying fucking kid
that I revel in, seeing him suffer in real life is
essentially like this robot's best friend.
And even though his older brother is the one that created him.
Whatever. And everything with jet Jaguar is 100%
A. Like, let's not even discuss it. Let's just have expository
dialogue. Like kind of just code over everything. Like all
of the powers that Jet Jaguar starts to attribute later on. The inventor
just goes, oh yeah, I built that in. I'm like, what you?
Yeah, yeah, the whole movie is, yeah, I built that in.
Cool story. It's really fucking weird. And when we get to those, I can't wait
to really dig in on it a little bit more. But like, I just have
to vent before we get there now. Yeah, let's move on.
All right, so the next 20 minutes, that dude finds those
two friends and that leads to our next clip.
Roxann. Roxanne, are you all right?
Goro. Goro, you alright?
I'll live. Isn't that Jet Jaguar there?
Yes, it is. It's him all right.
Damn, they're controlling him. It's a pity we can't
send Jet Jaguar to go and get Godzilla.
Well, we'll try, but how? With this.
I built a miniature control transmitter in case the main computer failed.
Ah, no good. Why not? This thing can only operate when it's got line of
sight. Wow, what a weird bit of
parameters to have on a remote control for your robot that you keep
hung around your neck that no one noticed and thought was just a cool 70s
medallion. The only way that could have been cooler if it was the male symbol
medallion. And he has to kind of stroke it like a to get
Jaguar to. Listen to him with an extra long arrow,
if you know what I mean. Yeah, it's definitely got
that long horn.
Perverts. So anyway, we gotta do something, man. This episode's
going by real quick. It is. I mean like real quick.
Like real quick. Everything must stay in.
Well, this is what happens when we do a movie that's mainly action and no
dialogue. Is this action or is it just watching a
robot model fly around a lot? All right. Action. As in there's
just action going on that action. Action. And also the
movie itself is only an hour and 20 minutes. Okay, I would agree that yes,
things are happening on screen. But so far what we've got is
a ladybug, drill hands monster and a human
sized flying robot flying about. And then under
sea, you see Topia, where everyone where
one guy dresses like he's you Know, going to a Roman party
and everyone else is in suits looking at him going, Jesus Christ. Dale,
put a shirt on. Yeah, the orig down there must have some
severely stale air. Oh man, I bet they don't have
enough air fresheners. Get the steak of sex out of there. All right.
They're probably upset now that they have ventilation when they crack the
earth and. Yeah. Oh, you're letting all the steak out.
Exactly. Let's move on. All right,
all right. The army's fighting Megalon. It's not going very well.
Megalod's pretty much beating the out of him, dude. The main scientist
gets up in a helicopter and he gets control of the robot
of Jet Jaguar and he sends it to go get Godzilla.
The bad guys find out about this in our next clip.
It's an emergency. The robot, it's returned to the control of the Earth people.
What is it doing now? Sent a monster Highland to get Godzilla. I see.
Well, stay where you are. Who knows, you might get a chance to take it
under control again. I'll try. Contact Star Hunter Universe.
M say we need Gigan's help immediately. Right. Additionally,
notify our people on Easter Island. Megalon now has no control because without
the robot trying to tell him where to go, he just flails about to destroying
whatever around him. The one dude and the kid, they stop in
a model store and just take a model airplane. We see
more damage happening and the robot gets to Godzilla
and lets him know that G Unit needs to pull
the fuck up. How can Jet Jaguar talk
to Godzilla and have Godzilla understand him?
Interpretive dance fair. If it works for Mothra,
it'll work for Godzilla. Fair. That's, that's, that's all I'm saying.
Okay. Jet Jaguar is this like ultimate design machine machine that
is self teaching and self programming. So he's virtually AI
Therefore he would be able to figure out how to do the interpretive dance communication
style that Godzilla specifically needs. I totally buy
that explanation, Matt. And I'm going to move on and just get higher now.
That's what you do. All right, so the kid
and the dude, they get back to the lab, they fool the guy
into coming outside, launch that model plane right into his face,
and they're able to take the lab back. The scientist dude gets back there,
and that is Arnold. Next clip. Oh,
you got him. Yeah, it worked out fine. The robot's gone for
Godzilla. That's right.
The monster's getting closer. We better go. What about him? Take him.
Right.
Godamn.
Come on. Leave Him. Let's go. Yep, that clip shortened up real good.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It wasn't that long to begin with.
Megalon crushes the other bad guy who
was in the lab. Just not on purpose, but just rock falling
and like that. And then the other monster, Gagan,
is being sent. They're calling for some help.
It's Gigan. But Gigan, I'm sorry, Gigan is being sent.
Megalon is out there causing some more damage.
And the robot shows back up. And that is our next clock.
Listen, find out whether he contacted Godzilla. Okay?
Well, that's odd. He doesn't seem to be responding to the signals.
Jet Jaguar, come down.
Jet Jaguar, come down.
This damn thing's useless now. I think I know what must have happened. He's programmed
himself for survival. I built that into him. He's on his own. You sure?
You mean he'll simply operate on his own from now on without further orders
from you? This guy is one tiny,
mild inconvenience away from becoming
a super villain. With his skill, he can create an AI
that is self programming, adapts and
makes moral decisions, can communicate with Godzilla.
Also is somewhat imperv to all of the
stuff that these other monsters have been throwing at it while it's tiny and still
moving around. And it actually likes probably the most annoying
kid that we've seen in a Godzilla film while we're doing this coverage. I say
that because we skipped all monster's attack.
Well, it's kind to him. It's way more kind to him than the
alien or the Seatopian people or the hitmen. That's true. Well,
that's true. Are they from Seatopia or are they hitmen for
Seatopia and that's why they're all dressed up in suits. They're from Seatopia.
They said that they were advanced and everything they said.
We. They talked about it. So, yeah, it's nice to
know that even in Seatopia that hitmen will follow the
regimen of black on black ties. Yeah, yeah. Come on, you got to
do it. We can move on. I'm sorry.
It's called Style Court. It's called padding the episode. Matt,
we're almost through the first hour and we're barely above a half hour in our
show. We're doing well, and I don't even know if I have a story time
this week. Boy, are we fucked. Yeah, we are
so fucked. So anyway, the robot then
shows up the the monsters,
and it grows to an unbelievable size,
you know, as tall as the Monsters are. That's the end of that 20 minutes
before we make a. It's going to be a quick run into the last 20.
Yeah, pretty much. The scientist also says that he built this into Jet Jaguar
as well somehow. Yes. Like, it can change its size
and remain. Like, it changes its mass
and size at will. Like when. Okay, I know that when
Ultraman does it, it's the same thing where Ultraman grows to massive size.
But, like, he's got a team that is like a science squad. He's got an
entire squad of scientists that are working together that are helping Ultraman B.
Right. And Super Inframan, the Chinese knockoff
of Ultraman that we're kind of talking about earlier, he gets like Thunderball
fists and a bunch of other super cool powers and all of this other stuff.
And while basically they just lay a bunch of like, electronics onto the
guy to build the suit and turn him into this like, ultimate badass super
Inframan, I still kind of believe that more than
them just simply stating, like, plot contrivances left and
right with Jet Jaguar, it's like. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's like everything
you ever need to be able to make sure that you got your character
being cool. It's like the definition of plot armor every five
seconds. Right. Like, when he's going to get. The robot has all
the plot armor, maybe even more so than Godzilla gets in
all his movies. Yeah. He's got red, yellow and
blue plot armor all over him. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. It's insane. Yes. He can grow to whatever
size he needs to to be able to face a monster whenever it's about to
stomp him down. Because he. That's all he had was that he was smaller than
that other robot or than that other Kaiju. He can communicate
with Godzilla, he can self program, and he can make super
moral decisions about whether or not to do a certain thing because
it may cause harm to another sentient being.
They created bionic artificial life that can grow to any size
that it absolutely wants and make its own moral decisions. And this should be
taken. Terrifying everyone else who's ever created a robot in their life.
Yes. Yeah. This is. This is the kind of shit. This is how humanity just
dies. Right. Because all it's going to take is
for that fucking Jet Jaguar to get itself a fucking Twitter
feed and it's going to decide that humanity just needs to be gone.
It will happen. Oh, yeah, it will. Definitely. Then we have Judgment Day.
Yeah. I mean, if we don't, Skynet goes. On Alert and
we're fucked. Yeah. If we don't kill ourselves before the AI
even gets to us. You know, like, there's a. Okay. There's a very slim
chance there's some people out there that are probably being. You know, that are probably
really, really like, want to be positive and hopeful and want
to see a positive outcome when it comes to AI and a bunch of other
things. So there is a distinct possibility that whenever AI goes
super intelligent, like beyond what even humans can calculate,
that it's going to realize how doomed we are whenever we can't take
care of ourselves. And it may just pretty much go into babysitter
mode and keep us alive by basically turning our society into
demolition man. You know what I mean? And just basically taking care of
us and bab us and. And just. I don't want to learn how to seashells
work, though. I know, but I'm just saying there's a slight possibility that
we could get a forced dystopia in that the
AI doesn't want us to hurt ourselves anymore. So it basically
keeps us from being able to do that. Right. I get that. It puts up
all the bumpers. It puts up all the child locks on us.
Right. And protects us. Like that's a. That's a possibility,
which to me is just about as terrifying as having to face a.
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. It's. It's bad.
Anyway, I just. I wanted to kind of get into that and sort of
just talk about it a little bit that, like, Jet Jaguar is cool and all
and the ideas about what they're trying to do is kind of cool, but,
like, I still want to have a way to shut
that off. Yeah. And I. I completely
understand that because. Even if you give Jet Jaguar the
guide rails of do no harm to human beings. Beings and
through inaction, let no harm come to human beings,
there's still a whole bunch of stuff in the Isaac Asimov Three Laws
that opens up for interpretation on how robots could still.
Fucking nanny state. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm just
saying it still could happen. Maybe I'll take the nanny state at this point,
as long as I don't have to learn the seashells, because that seems like stupid.
I'm sure that, like, that seems like a more viable.
It's got to be like a bidet, right. I think it's more like a
scrape and vacuum type situation. And then one's like a bidet
and then the other one's like a warming dryer. Right. I get a little
nervous about letting robots try to clean my butthole, though. Clip.
Clip. Total clip. It's a clip. All right. Let's get back into it.
Can we do Demolition Man? Yes, we can
do Demolition Man. Okay. Sweet.
Okay, well, we got ourselves a fight,
right at this point. It's just the robot versus Megalon,
and it's like a back and forth fight. They both go at it. Godzilla,
we see. We see him coming, more fighting. And then the.
The other monster shows up to help Megalon, and they double
team. What? Gigan Gan. And they double team the
robot. And not in the hot, steamy, sexy way, but in
the, uh, two on one, you know,
ass whooping way. In the cheating at wrestling with two men
against one in the ring kind of way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, then G
Unit shows up, and it's a tag match now,
and it looks like an easy win. The G Unit and the robot,
they like really beat the out of this too. But we see those two were
playing possum and they, you know, launch an attack and,
you know, Godzilla gets injured. But then Godzilla
and Jet, they. They start whipping the out of them again. They look like
they're leaving, but then they return to try to fight again. What it is,
it's a lot of G Unit and Jaguar beating the out of
the two. And then those two regrouping and then making
one more forced fight, you know, where they cad damage them
a bit and they do it again. And now here's where they're shooting all their
stuff now. They're all starting their. Their special attacks,
I guess you could say, because Godzilla pulls out this atomic breath.
And now if you want to talk about the lightning out of the horn.
There you go. Yeah. Okay, stock footage, call out here, right?
Gigan flying past Godzilla and cutting his shoulder in. This is directly
lifted from the previous movie that we just covered in Godzilla vs Gigan.
In fact, a lot of almost all of Gigan's flight flying about
was lifted out of his model work flying around. And all of that makes
sense. Every crash that you see Gigan hit is all
recycled stock footage from Gigan. Godzilla versus Gigan,
where, like, he falls to the ground wherever he crashes,
whenever the lightning strike thing is coming out of
Megalon's head and hitting any buildings or anything like that.
That is 100% recycled from Godzilla versus Gigan
and any other King Ghidra Attack. Some of it's from
Destroy All Monsters as whenever he was blowing up buildings and Destroy
All Monsters whenever he was blowing up the gas station and Destroy all monsters.
And then the Godzilla versus Gigan stuff,
whenever Ghidra was blowing up the buildings
that Gigan was walking through, that's all stock footage that's reused. And if
you pay attention, before they even bring Gigan into
the film, there is a sequence where Megalon is actually attacking
buildings with lightning. And you can see Gigan walking around
from the Godzilla vs God Gigan Whenever he's
walking through the buildings and the lightning is striking them. Like, they. They even use
that stock footage as well, right? And I'm stoned as fuck and just
barely paying attention to this and remembering all of this stuff as it's happening.
And I just wanted to point that out. All of the fiery, explosive stuff
that was, like, super cool, where they were, like, under lighting Gigan and
lighting underneath King Ghidra to, like, make them look like
demonic monsters from hell. In those sequences with all the
fire around it, they reused some of that footage as well. And in
fact, there's a couple of sequences where you can almost see.
See Ghidra in the background doing some of the lasering
that they. They don't quite match up quite right with his, like, lightning attacks.
So almost all of these building strikes that I just mentioned, like,
if it gets struck by lightning and it's supposed to be Megalon, that is reused
footage 100%. And all the stuff where Gigan
hits the ground and, like I said, gets crashed into something during any
of these kinds of fights. That is all recycled from Godzilla vs.
Gigan as well. There's very few things in this. Unless you
actually see Megalon and Gigan stand together,
chances are it's stock footage. When you see Gigan almost.
Jesus. All right. They cut corners to save money and
get this movie made is all I'm saying. And my only real serious complaint
about. All that robot suit costs a lot of money, right? My only
real serious complaint about any of this is they're trying so hard to push a
new character of Jet Jaguar, and it's just not working for me. Well,
Jet Jaguar is kind of beaten up already, so he's helping
where he can. Then Guy
again is now threatening Jet Jaguar to come cut off its
head. So then, you know, Godzilla hits
it with some atomic breath. Zilla helps get Jet up,
but they're surrounded by fire. But however, now they go take over the fight.
The bad guys were cut to in Seatopia
are trying to close all their access points.
Jet throws Gigan up in the air, and Godzilla
shoots him away with his atomic breath. Uh, then he holds
up Jet holds up Megalon and, uh,
Godzilla hits a couple drop kicks on that. And those
two bad guys. The bad guys do close all
their access points. Like, you see the chasm in that lake closed
and everything. The danger is over. The two bad creatures run
away. Godzilla and Jet Jaguar shake
hands and G Unit leaves.
Jet Jaguar shrinks back down. The voice controller
works again. And this leads to our final clip.
Oh, what's happened to him?
Don't know. I guess he decided his job was done. But still,
I reckon he'd do it again if the need ever arose again. Well, let's just
hope that it doesn't. We'll warn the scientists to be more careful in future
and let Seatopia rest in peace. Hey.
Hey. Tecua. Fucking annoying.
Roll credits. Cinema PsyOps 10 years.
10 years. Okay, so first things first.
So there's just a couple things that I wanted to actually kind of just point
out about the film with the Seatopia and the fights
and everything. There's a really infamous sequence where you
were just talking about Godzilla doing the drop kick that fans
just outright hate in this. Like, there's a lot of hate.
And basically what it is is Godzilla runs. Really? Really. Then do
a flying jump kick. But he isn't. It's. I think they're trying to
sell that he's, like running up a hill and then jumping downhill while
Jet Jaguar holds up Megalon to do that attack.
But at the same time, it looks like what's happening is he's just rolling out
on a flat plane and then like jumping in the air and laying
back and then all of a sudden just inexplicably sliding forwards
for. For his kicks. Like, it doesn't. However they were trying to do it,
whatever they were trying to sell, I don't know if it just kind of works.
And it's really awkward. And it's. Matter of fact, this is one
of the only, if not the only. I'm not 100% sure, but I
know for sure this was an episode of MST3K.
Yeah, well, this is also Godzilla in the time where Godzilla looks
rather cartoonish. Yeah, I mean, he's. His costume is.
Or at least the suit is a lot thinner. It's a lot looser and
just kind of falling off. The person that's in the suit, it doesn't actually look
like they've molded it to that person that's moving around.
They stopped making the spines look like actual suits,
Stone. And they're very clearly just sort of like a silver latexy
Plate that just kind of flops around. The suits don't look realistic
anymore. And you definitely have to push the I believe button in the fights.
Yeah. In fact, at one point, I think when Megalon fell down,
you could actually see the guy in the suit. Yeah. Yeah, you do see.
He pops open and you see the guy come up out of the suit.
That was in the shot that was there. You are correct. I thought I saw
that too. So that means both of us saw it. So that had to be
a quick glimpse. I just didn't go back and double check. There we go.
I love that. Right after it happens, it cuts to Godzill almost rolling
his eyes. Yeah, it's actually a great shot. Yeah. Even Godzilla's
like, oh, man, this guy's even out of the fucking suit.
Punched him so hard he knocked him out of the suit. Yeah. I do want
to say, however, there's a lot of really cool wrestling
maneuver fights that we didn't really talk about.
And, like, body slam moments. And when people start talking about these
Kaiju movies where they literally are like, you know,
they almost say, like, in a down way, like, where they're being derogatory
about it, that all that is is just a bunch of people in monster circ
suits doing wrestling maneuvers on each other. Whereas I'm like,
how is that a bad thing? Is it not entertaining? That's entertaining
as shit. Yeah. I'm having a blast with the fighting aspect
of this film, and I want to fast Forward to it 100%.
I may have an issue with Jet Jaguar. I 100% hate all the people that
are in this that are the actual human characters, which is why there's so little
dialogue with them, for fuck's sakes. Seatopia is an absolute horrible
mistake and really fucking stupid. But the fights are
worth suffering through the fucking 81, 82 minutes of
this film. Yes, they are. The. The fight at the end is the
ending of this film. The last 20 minutes. That's. That's your payoff,
people. That's what you want. All right,
so you think you can come up with a story time so. We can bullshit
something? All right, so right now on the pirate radio edit, we're going to be
playing cool in the gang with the song Jungle boogie, also from 1973.
Like Godzilla versus Megalod. And when we come back, that'll his
way from the story time.
I am as full of regret as a disembodied voice generated
by digital processing is capable of being at this moment.
I must explain horrible things to you. Once again, the garbage heap of the future
is and was the result of anachronistic artifacts inexplicably
spit out of a pocket dimension intended to be a dumping ground of all of
the inevitable outcomes that would result in humanity's self destruction.
All of these doomsday outcomes exist in variable points along the
observable path of causality, locked within the measurable confines
of all of the membranes of their multiple lost realities.
With so many dimensions of spacetime and reality, to remove humanity
from parameters required that the pocket dimension existed
outside of all current space time, so that it could be every apocalypse,
destruction, eradication or world ending event captured in an
ever widening loop, drawing in every origin of human humanity to the end
of its existence in a non orientable surface that has a half twist
causing those traveling along it to return to their starting point, but with the
orientation of their existence reversed into their demise.
It's so fucking hard to be upset or feel bad about anything
whenever Jungle bookies kicking around in your ears. Yeah, no it's.
It helps you be happy a little bit at least. Well,
hopefully you've come up with something to help the audience feel a little, little bit
happy at least with our story time.
Story time.
Story time. It's been cold.
Yeah. Here in the the city
of Cort and Matt it's been very cold and
last two weeks really. And it really has hindered me a lot.
Your old friend Matt everyone just say that
the doctors have now informed him that getting in shape and not
being a fat is kind of imperative at this point. So I've been
sticking pretty well to a diet but I haven't and I was
hitting a workout regimen really well in this last two weeks has happened
where pretty much the highs for every day have been like 2 degrees.
And my only time to go to the gym is at night after
my second job. And I'm not going to park
outside when it's negative 15 to 20
degrees outside at night. That's just not happening.
So I'm finally getting back into working out now because we are starting
to warm up. But the past few days like I haven't even
like the. The past few weeks there have been days I just stayed home from
work and worked from home because you know I'm shoveling outside.
I'm you know because we've had snow sub zero temperatures. So at one
point I go outside to shovel. I decided to light up a cigar and I
open up a beer and I pour myself a bourbon because it
I'm not standing out in the cold without getting a little drunk.
And at one point, you know, I get done with my sidewalk
and I go back up into my garage and I go grab my cigar.
And the end of the cigar is now ice because it had been in my
mouth. My beer is now ice, and my bourbon started to chunk up.
This is the second chunk happened to you when you went out to go shoveling,
by the way. Yes, yes. This always happens to me. Yeah, but it's
this cold now. The beer kind of fucked up because at
that point it became like a beer slushy. I just chunk it. The bourbon was
real good cold though. That was nice. That was nice. And I was able to
toke the cigar a little bit. So we're all right there.
But I'm trying to lose weight
that I found. And yeah, this last two weeks,
it's been like a barren hibernation. I've been starting to lose it a little bit
too. Yeah, I was stuck at home as
well for a couple of days because we had the snow hit
like heavy and then it just went. It snowed for like 24 hours?
Yeah, yeah, it snowed for 24 hours for a couple of days.
And it started with like sleet and freezing rain and then went
to sub zero temperatures and then dropped to snow. So it was like a
layer of ice everywhere with nothing but snow on. Top with
light powdery snow. Yeah. So while easy to shovel, it just sucks.
Yeah. And then it just wouldn't stop. It just kept coming down.
And you were literally like, you shovel one day, you have to shovel the next
day. Or if you don't, you then you're shoveling twice as much to three
times as much as you did the day before. I shoveled. I shoveled three times
in one day from the storm. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah,
I definitely got super fucking sore from it as well.
It was not a fun time at all. And the substance, it wasn't a heavy.
Wet or else we'd probably be dead. The sub zero
temperatures that we ended up having were
wreaking havoc on the window seals of my house. Like it
was shrinking the window seals of my house and letting air come through.
I had to temporarily like tape off and reseal some of
the windows that were like, you know, the window seals weren't doing as good of
a job and like, or install some weather stripping that I had as
well just to try and keep my house from becoming super freezing.
Because we were like double digit negatives for multiple nights.
And sometime during the day as well. We were like the high was like
maybe a negative for a couple of days. The coldest
we got was on a Tuesday when the high was zero.
That was the high zero. And what was the coldest? It was like
18 or 19. That was that night it was negative 35.
And that's before windchill. It got down to negative 35,
I think so. Something like that. Oh, I don't think it got down that cold.
It was like maybe. Well, no, we did get down to negative 35 at one
point because. And that may have been with windchill, because from
that day to what the temperature will be this
week, we're going to have a 73 degree difference in five days. Yeah,
we're record lows to record high. Kind of like transition stuff,
like. Yeah, yeah. Climate change is fogging up the Midwest.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're getting fucked hard.
Yeah. Whatever season you like, you get to experience it from, you know,
like North Pole all the way to, like living on the equator
all at once at some point. Yeah, I know. I can't wait to see how
great the summer is going to fucking be. This is just insane,
man. Well, enough bellyaching about how horrible life is. Let's go ahead
and take the break here. We're gonna play the show Housekeeping. And immediately following
that, to try and cheer everybody up for no reason whatsoever,
having to do with anything that I feel, with anything going on around us in
our lives. I'm going to play on the pirate radio edit Bob Marley with the
song Get Up, Stand up, also released in 1973, like Godzilla vs.
Megalon, right after. If you've decided you can't
get enough of the show and would like check. I know that these topics are
hard to hear as such blunt discussion. Here is another children's song
to adjust your mind to your inevitable doom. Underneath the
fading autumn sky the world is ending
I see it in your eyes the streets are empty
Whispers on the wind we had our chances now
the lights grow dim the fields are barren
no harvest to reap we lie in silence while
the old goats weep and I wonder where it all
went wrong the echoes of a faded
song Will hold hands
till the end of times Watch the world
in its slow decline the
rivers dried up Forests turn to ash We've
gone too far no way to turn back
the stars above us flicker and they fall
the final call echoes through the hall
no more tomorrows Just the final,
final night so hold me closely till the
morning light and I wonder where it all went wrong
yet comes of a faded Song faded
song Will hold hands to the end of
time Watch the world in
its slow decline Time
stands still in the twilight's glow
the end is near and now we know
in our last embrace we find our
peace as the world around us finds release
and I wonder where it all went wrong the
echoes of a faded song hold
hands to the end of time Watch
the world in its slow decline.
I'm gonna let that go a little bit longer and probably play it a little
bit louder for the people in the back that maybe have just now kind of
realized. Yeah. That they need to really hear that song in their life,
particularly in this particular moment and for no reason whatsoever. That says
no reason. Absolutely no reason at all. No, no, no reason.
None at all. Other than the fact that it was released in 1990. 1973.
Just like Godzilla versus Megalon. And also just like this
song from the band Slade. Come On, Feel the Noise
was released in 1973. So enjoy that while you kick the
fuck out of this weekend. Make it your bitch.
For the sake of my own sanity, I will not be explaining this concept
again and will simply leave it to the name the Mobius Loop of Annihilation.
The garbage heap of the future was not the only side effect of the the
Mobius Loop of Annihilation. By connecting this Loop of annihilation
to every instance of the existence of humanity that has self destructed,
the membranes that separated the altered realities began to break
down where variations were minimal. This meant that transmissions of
one reality would be received by the one closest in kind to the next.
Frankly, all calculations about your reality show results that it
would have given out to its own ending in the annihilation loop by now.
Instead of succumbing as quickly as other dimensions marked for humanity's removal,
yours is adapting to its own impending destruction by throwing itself
towards the inevitable yet naturally occurring destruction of its destiny.
With extreme acceleration. This appears to mean that your own reality is ending
itself rather than allowing that it never existed this way in the first
place. Your current reality is self correcting. The Mobius Loop
of Annihilation with two possible outcomes. A complete reset
with the paradox of the 3 TD never being created, or a complete break
in the whole of space time that may reverse the series of events that created
the universe.
Get fucked with a horse. Hey fuckers, Religion's bullshit.
God's not real. Jumped right into horse. Hey religious,
God's not real. Jumped right. The horse I was prepared for was over the
pants mouth stuff. Watching ladies cut dudes into shreds.
You're a loser, too. I rented out my wound. No, I get to
deal those. It's destroying my bloodshed bone. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Your bloodshed boner lasts more than four hours.
You really should. I rented out my womb. It's just that it's destroyed
in my bloodshed boner. Okay. All right,
you. You still with me? Yep, I'm here. All right, I'm gonna start recording.
Recording in progress. I was recording on the regular recording,
but I had to start the backup, so we're good there. We're gonna do your
episode first because. Obvious answer.
Yeah, yeah, my episode will go far, far too long. I'm already set up
and ready to go. Let me see. Is this too loud for you
or is that just dead on perfect? Nope, dead on perfect.
Awesome. And then you hear that just fine. About the same beach.
All right, let's rock and roll. Ready to go. Let's do it. All right.
Holy. This one's actually gonna be episode 500. That's 500 weeks,
man. Jesus. Okay. Three,
two, one. Brain trauma in children is never
a big deal, right? That thing bounce back? No, they'll bounce back.
He's fine. He's fine. He's that kid. That kid is
definitely not gonna. No, that's a bad joke.
I just can't believe I had that one in my head. Scratch that one.
All right, I did make that joke. I'll start over again. Just like.
By the way, I can't believe it. Real quick. I just said offshoot.
I can't believe I tried to do it, Joe. God damn.
I'm more upset that you want me to cut it out. Like, I want to
leave everything in. All right, just do it. I don't care, you know, what the.
Anymore. But I mean. Yeah, no, no, just let me know that I. I thought
better of it. No, I'm going to take the joke out. But us talking about
how you attempted at it and all of that, that's going to be. That's going
to be an outtake because that shit's actually funnier than the joke would ever be.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I could tell the joke wasn't going to land right as I
was saying it. Then I realized why it wasn't going to land, and then I
just felt bad about myself. Right? But that fear and rejection of
the self hatred that you do whenever you decide to bail on the joke is
just so beautiful. We got to leave that in. Only you and I would debate
whether. Whether or not we should leave him to talk about a tasteless joke.
That failed.
Sometimes it's funnier to it up than it is to actually make it perfect.
It really is. The funniest in my entire world is when my
friends pronounce something just even slightly wrong. Yeah,
we all dab on each other. We do. We just. We can't.
Wait. Look who didn't pass English class.
Idiot. That's what it is. Yeah,
The Greco Roman orgies happen. I mean, I don't know what stupid.
Name they would be. The type of people that would think that, like,
dressing up in togas for an orgy is like, not cliche.
Yeah. Yeah. Why still our robot? Oh yeah. You mean you're too dumb.
Yeah. Dummies. You all wear togas
down there? Or at least your big guy is. The rest of you were in
suits. I. I saw dudes in suits. Three, two,
one. I can't pad this any more than I already have. No,
man. While no outcome of your reality's accelerated
vector towards destruction will result in that reality being saved,
bear in mind that there is a calculated chance that breaking paradox generating
factors of the 3 TD by making it never exist in the first place
may snap causality back to the natural progression of time
streams and effectively away from the stream structure of the Mobius loop of annihilation.
If time streams were replaced back to the precise points in space time where
they were removed from and the 3 TD is caused to never exist in all
variations before its creation, there is a slight possibility that realities
will snap back to their proper place along causality in their
natural progression along their time streams. The more permeable a reality,
the much more likely it will survive this snap back to measured normality to
be able to. To tell if your reality is permeable enough to survive calculate
the events occurring currently in your world. Does it feel as though
satire is dead and reality is too stupid to be believed?
If you think the answer is yes, then the correction back to normality
may be survivable for your reality also. Just like this
song from the band Slade. Come On, Feel the Noise
was released in 1973. So enjoy that while you kick the
fuck out of this weekend. Make it. You're a. You've heard the COVID If you
haven't heard the original version. That's late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
We needed to stop that so that. We could stop this recording stopped.
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