Cinema_PSYOPS_EP514: Giant Monsters FSU: Godzilla vs. Megaguirus 2000 (Main Feed)
There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed at a
quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence. Operational time
in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the audio collapsed in
on itself, rendering all of their civilization, including technology, null and
void. Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema
syll.
10 years. Man 10. 10 years.
10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.
10. 10 years. 10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.
Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of you.
And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control over it.
The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality. Our planet
is trying to tell us something, but we don't seem to be listening. A recent
study has suggested that one third of annual deaths due to heat. Are directly
related to global warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,
which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on fire in
a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing effect of
the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting more
fires on top of the radiation if they happen to have survived poisoning people
to death. On top of all that, each one of these fires creates
a mega fire that is a hundred or more square miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,
giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.
Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating viruses more
dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity.
It's man returning to the most primal,
violent state as people fight over the tiny
resources that remain. What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or
a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced. Computer game you are
playing right now. When it ends, you would be what. Causes the end of the
world. Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing this
game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug. There'S a chance the rest
of us will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across the entire continuum
are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema
syn. 10 years. 10 years.
Hello and
welcome to the 514th consecutive week of
Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Kurt the Guy that's super sad.
That we still don't have Matt back, but is super excited to announce the arrival
of a Wisconsinite to be our interim co host and do the
notes for the night is our buddy, Dan Bezel from the Corrupted
Youth podcast. Hello? Little too hyper?
It's me. I'm definitely not Matt. Am I a little too.
Do I need to match your energy? Do I need to be less hyped up
to be able where you're at? Am I like too much of the
douche on the radio right now and not enough of the guy that is just
doing a podcast with his buddy? Is that what needs to happen here? Here's the
thing. I can give a shit ton of energy, and when I listen to it,
I go, that guy sounds bored.
So I think it's just me.
You just seem like you're always calm, cool and composed.
Right. Like you're the guy that they should go to in a crisis. Right.
That's the thing. Absolutely not.
You're the who should be in a film pretending to be the guy that's perfectly
calm and rational about everything when shit's hitting the fan, that's what you should be.
I'm gonna be the guy who makes the dry, inappropriate joke
in the crisis as a coping mechanism. So you're basically
George Romero's cast for every Dead film, right?
Cause they're always. Yeah, pretty much. They're always just like, over it. They're like,
oh, my God, I know we're gonna die in a horrible, horrible way. Can it
just fucking not be so boring in between?
Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah. Yeah. O. Totally makes
sense. I'd already announced with everybody, and I already let them know with Darren's episode
that's gone out, that Matt's going to be out for the next three weeks.
We have a health crisis going on in his family, so he's going to have
to step away for a little bit. I'm hoping, and he is hoping that we'll
be able to get him back and that these three weeks that we're taking off
will be all that we need. But I needed not only, as I mentioned,
a Wisconsinite to fill in for Matt. I needed someone who knew what they were
doing when it comes to talking about Godzilla, because Matt has been trained
up to the point where he's watched everything up to the millennium and then all
the supplemental stuff. So at this point, Matt knows what he's talking about.
Kaiju movies. I think he's trained up enough. He knows where he's coming from.
Yeah. And you know, the thing is I might be very
knowledgeable, but man, I've hung out at G Fest and holy
shit, do I not know a lot about Godzilla?
That's the thing, right? Like, you've gone to G Fest, you've gone even
deeper than me. Let's just put it this way. I kind of do a little
day trip around the crunch just to make a little reference to mighty Bush there.
When it comes to Godzilla, like, I absolutely love Godzilla. I am 100% obsessed
with Godzilla. And to most normal, normal people, I am the most extreme
fan of Godzilla they will ever meet. But here's the thing. I am the tip.
And there is an iceberg. And you have seen that iceberg.
And I would like to tell our audience about that ever so slightly, just a
little bit. So you've been to G Fest and you've done some stuff for your
art and everything. So let's roll this into some plugs, talk a little about your
experiences in G Fest, just slightly, just a little bit, going there as an artist
and everything. Tell us about all of your stuff that we would need to get
out at the start of the show and let's move on to do the review.
What do you say? Sure. Yeah, I've been to G Fest. I've got to meet
like a of awesome people there. A lot of different artists,
a lot of fans. And honestly, I have to say, out of all the conventions
I've ever been to as an artist and comic book guy, that it's
the best fan base. Honestly, hands down. I'm sorry, any other
fan base. You suck. Because Godzilla
fans are the best. Have you ever run into any negative interaction
with a Godzilla fan? No, not to this day. I mean, there can
be like minor squabbles. And, you know, there's always different
levels. Levels of fan, I suppose. But for the
most part, they're all pretty positive and cool people. So that's awesome.
I'm really glad to hear that. Because I feel like it takes a certain type
of person to really get into the suit acting movies and to be really,
really into it. And I just feel like I'm glad that there are
more folks like myself at least. Cause I like to feel
like, you know, I'll have squabbles with people. And I try not to be a
jerk. I'm trying to bring more joy into the world than I do misery.
Because I've had my fair share of bringing misery into the world as a younger
man. I'm just trying better to be a better person now. I really,
really am. People who listen to this podcast for the whole 10 years will probably
hear that switch when I stop being so abrasive and start trying to be a
little bit more kind, like, actively. So I'm glad that you did
have those interactions. Now you've gone there as an artist and you're a comic book
artist, and we've already mentioned you're the head honcho for corrupted
youth, you and your son. So you've also started some other ventures. So I just
kind of curious about what's going on with you and all the stuff that you're
doing right now. Yeah, so I started Cinema Sketch. And, you know,
as an artist with a love for movies, finding artistic inspiration can be challenging.
So why not draw inspiration from those movies? Viewers can
watch as I create whatever art the movie inspires and listen as
I share my thoughts on the film. I just debuted my first episode on
YouTube and it's. It's a fun thing. It's just a really cool project.
My wife came up with the idea and I've just been rolling
with it. It's really nice because I just get to make art
when I kind of don't feel like it. And it's been refreshing.
That's cool. So are you doing this sort of like a live on video?
You're doing that? How exactly would this, like, happen? Right. Like, how does this work?
So either I'll just watch a movie, or if it's one
that I've seen, like, say like a shit ton of times, I'll just maybe put
it on in the background and then I will draw something. Just whatever
I'm inspired to. It could be something from the movie itself,
and it has been sometimes. Or it's just maybe something a little more
abstract from the actual movie itself, but still kind of ties in.
I can't spoil future episodes because I've got a few in the bank,
but there's definitely one where it's like, you wouldn't think of it, but it
could completely make sense once it's gone. Okay, so are we going
to be watching the movies with you or is this. You're discussing it
while you're drawing the thing that was inspired by the movie? Yeah. So I'll do
all the drawing and then I will edit it down a bit,
take out parts where I'm not actually drawing or anything, and then I
will kind of come up with, like, about how much time do I think I
have to talk about certain movie, and then I'll speed up or
slow down bits of the drawing process and Then I'll
do a voiceover talking about the movie, and I'll also talk about what
I'm doing when I'm drawing and kind of, like, what techniques I'm using and
materials, stuff like that. Wow. Now, was all of this.
This whole aspect of this show, was this your wife's idea, like, or did you
guys hash this out together, or did you just sort of hash it out after
she came up with the initial idea of you should do the cinema sketches?
Yeah, she had the initial idea, and I think it was because she interrupted
youth. She got tired of Brennan and I talking about movies around her all the
time. So I think she got tired of me just talking to her about
movies. I was like, now that you're not recording with Brennan,
why don't you go do this?
Stop obsessing over stuff and annoying me with it. I love you,
but go do this. I think that's the heart of it.
But I think she also just loves me and wants me to do
fun things. That's fair. Yeah. I would hope and assume that your
would love you and want you to do things that make you happy. I would
hope and assume that that's the case. Well, that sounds like a terrific idea.
It sounds like something really great. I can't wait to check it out myself.
Every time it pops up on blue sky, I go ahead and reshare it as
well. You've just been sort of like, starting now. So you have some
episodes in the can. About how many are out right now? Just one out as
of today when we're recording, and then it'll be on a weekly basis.
All right, so it's weekly from here on out. And we're about mid June.
So you have one out in mid June. And so go check everybod.
Yep. That's the easiest way to go. I'll make sure I get the links from
you and stuff to put it in the show notes and all of that as
well. That's great. I appreciate all the support that you've done to help me out
so far. As I mentioned before, I just want to say it again and reiterate.
Dan did the notes for tonight. He took the clips himself, gave him a little
bit of stuff, but he's actually trying to mimic the Cinema Psyops
style of synopsis. So I'm
actually really, really eager to see how this is gonna turn out. I've got all
your clips. I've got the music ready. So what we've been doing all along this
time, I kind of got a little selfish. And I decided just to pick songs
that I kind of dug that were also released in 2000.
So I didn't go with just the popular and Billboard 100s because this
is when like big NSync and like those types of boy bands
and like that kind of pop music that I just can't stand came about.
So I just broke my own rules for this week's show and next week's show,
because that's who I am. And so we're gonna go ahead and get started with
Godzilla versus McGuirus from 2000. So the first song
up for the night on the Pirate Radio Edit, which was also released in two,
is our friend Richard Cheese with the COVID of Nookie and Break stuff
because fuck Limp Bizkit, you can enjoy that right after this
on the Pirate radio. This will keep it quiet oh hi. There, I didn't
see you. You caught me cutting a new show. I'm Beau Ransdell and
I'm one of. The mini creators the labs of Seven. Quartz all in one Edison
manufacturing business have been accused of being a center for outlandish claims
that are almost always shown to be false with time. There are accusations that their
stock price is inflated by lies and propped up by SHAD investors
using it to pump and dump money through market manipulation that is suspected
to be the easiest way for them to harvest money from their foolish investors.
Seven is allegedly capable of creating chaos and stop manipulation
ploys. However, testing the paradox sustaining devices that are essential
to the function of the Mobius Loop of annihilation has proven difficult in Edison
manufacturing labs as was shown in the audio of the testing process.
Repeatedly attempting to manipulate and remove things from history
for paradox stability was unprovable with repeated testing until it test attempt
resulted in the destruction of the 3 TD in use killing the test subjects.
Paradox generation is imperative to making the loop function. We need false things
to be true, also things that once existed that never exist.
We have been testing the per view designs and plans for paradox generation.
We also had another how does spontaneous building demolition sound?
While the description is accurate, the spin lacks little effectiveness.
I don't know how we could really try to spin the fact that all of
our attempts at testing the paradox generation devices have resulted
in no measurable temporal shifts and nor measurable time functions.
We can't determine if the devices are working with any kind of removal
or savior complex paradoxes. This is because when we change anything
in the past, it either is working to make that paradox be sustained and
we all can't remember what we changed because of causation or
we were about to make an attempt that sounds like. When you take a dose
of Rohypnol to erase the memory of something bad. So you can legitimately say under
oath, you don't recall that you might have done something bad, but you waited too
long or. Or it didn't work right. So you. You still wake up with no
memory of taking the drug, only that memory of needing to forget the thing you
vaguely remember needing to take the drug to forget it can become a spiraling experience.
This is not only off topic and horrifying to hear you say,
I'm pretty sure that this is the plot of something that happens to Joe
Bluth in the fourth season of the Rest of the Filament, I am trying to
tell you we have no idea of knowing if any of this technology we
are mimicking from other dimensions. Even worse beyond just exploding
and killing our testers. Holy shit,
this is taking me back, too. We were kind of having a little conversation,
you know, behind the mic while the music's going like, DJ style. And we were
talking about how we haven't heard this song in, like, how long? How long has
it been for you? What did you say? Ooh, I don't know. Probably. Probably 20
years at least. Now, nookie break stuff is something that I hear a
lot more often than I really want to. Like for instance, I watched the movie
Y2K, and it's got Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit all the way fucking through it.
And then they play that song and they talk about that song and then they
do the COVID that they do. And, like, there's a whole bunch of Fred Durst
everywhere. And it's. You can't tell everybody. I dislike Fred Durst. I dislike
Limp Bizkit. However, Westmoreland's a fucking man. I can play guitar.
But enough about Limp Bizkit and everything that is awful. Let's talk about everything
that is awesome with Godzilla versus Magiris from 2000.
Okay, so let's get into it. First of all,
too, like, I might pronounce things different than Cort. And this happens a lot
in the fan fandom because nobody, even the dubs don't
even pronounce things consistently. So, yeah, there's certain things that
certain people go for. So if you're talking about names and stuff like that,
yeah, totally get that. And that's fine. I only
ever correct Matt because I only go by what I go by. And if anybody's
going to take the blame for not knowing How Pronounce a Godzilla foe. It's going
to be me. It's all good.
Happens a lot, so don't worry about it. Yeah,
let's kick it off with the first 20. So the movie kicks off with a
news reel of the original 1954 Godzilla attack on Tokyo.
But in this, they've updated the footage from the original Gojira
and they've added the new millennium suit Godzilla. And hey,
it's also our first clip. Godzilla, king of the monsters, again wreaked havoc on
the streets of Tokyo.
The entire city was transformed into a sea of fire.
Less than 10 years after the end of the war, and in the middle of
the post war economic miracle, Tokyo was once again the scene of death
and mass destruction. The advent of nuclear power and the threat of
nuclear weapons had brought the monster back to life. Mankind was
powerless and could only stand a watch as Godzilla vented its rage.
A few months after the attack. Attack. Tokyo undertook a massive
program of reconstruction. Japan moved its capital
to Osaka, and the country slowly started to return to normality.
So next we jump to 1966.
More expository dialogue that we can't give justice.
So that's our next clip. Just 12 years after Godzilla's
attack, the monster returned.
This time, it attacked Japan's first nuclear power plant.
Hurry. Quickly. Move. Get out of the way.
The Prime Minister is here.
It's confirmed. The decision has come through. Japan is giving
up nuclear power plants. That's correct.
Godzilla had been attacking the country to feed off the radioactivity
created by the nuclear power plants. The government therefore decided
decided to close the plants as a safety measure.
However, steadily growing demand for electricity meant
the government had to act quickly. Water, wind and solar
energies were used to fill the void left by the decommissioned power plants.
But all these alternatives combined could not replace
nuclear energy. And so the
decision was taken at government level to establish the Bureau of Science and
Technology. The aim of this institute was to develop sources of clean
energy. It was based in the new capital, Osaka.
As you all know, the aim of this institute has been to conduct
research into new sources of clean energy. Today, this research has finally
given its first results. Consequently, we're proud to announce a new
era, an era of totally clean energy. The Plasma Powered
Energy System. Now that we have the story set up for a Japanese plasma
powered clean energy initiative. That won't feed Godzilla.
Maybe not. Not at all. No. Who knows?
The big G is on a typical 1996 nighttime
stroll through the city. And there's a small military squad deployed to Osaka,
where They run around on foot and shoot rockets at Godzilla. Now,
we can assume this is a technique used to irritate him and lure him out
of the city. Regardless, it doesn't go well for this squad as it gets systematically
wasted. This is the most suicide squad since Comic Con.
This is the biggest goddamn suicide squad that has ever existed in Japan.
They're firing missiles at Godzilla just to irritate him, to try
and get him to move. They might as well be flashing giant lights at him.
Right, right. And they're on foot, too, so they're just
trying. How do you outrun a Godzilla? Right. They couldn't do this successfully with
helicopters or airplanes in other movies. So why are they doing this from buildings?
I don't get it. This is a weird choice. I'm just gonna say
it. Yeah. But hey, at least we're introduced to Kiriko, a woman sold
saved from falling debris by her commander. He gets crushed,
and she ends up firing a rocket at Godzilla and screams. And then we
get our opening title time. I love when opening title time
happens. They're always so dramatic in these movies. I love it.
Yeah, there's always something where it'll either, like, bust through something, or it'll be,
like this big, bright light. Or it always has that logo where
it looks like a fight poster. You know, like, you see, like, Rumble in
the Jungle, they're really just amping it up and knowing exactly what we're here for.
Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I mean, at this point, like. Yeah, you had to
listen to those clips and everything, and it's a little dry, but you go,
okay, let's go. You're pumped up for it now. Yeah. It's not
the worst intro that we've seen in the Godzilla movies. This is definitely one that
builds for sure. Yep. And then we jump to 2001
in Tokyo. We have a man named Kudo who is entertaining some kids
in his shop by. He's placing these ingredients out on a table with a
spoon, and then he's placing a bowl over. Over the items.
But when he lifts the bowl, the ingredients are cooked and assembled on the spoon.
This is all fun until some uniformed folk step in, and one of them
ruins the trick. With our next clip, the microbots mix. The ingredients,
and the microwave cooks the mixture. Right. Oh,
it's a trick. Told ya. Hey,
hey, wait a minute. Let's go to the park.
What did you have to go and do that for? Now I've lost credibility with
those kids. Don't you think it's about time they learned the truth anyway.
Still, I have to admire you. Magic or no magic, these little machines
are a remarkable achievement for a self taught engineer. You have a lot to be
proud of. You had no right to give the game away. What are you guys
doing here anyway? You might say we're headhunters. That scene is like
the equivalent of someone tricking someone with three Card Monty and then someone
else like calling them on it and showing what they're doing. It's just a way
to establish that he's this clever super engineer guy through all that expository
dialogue. And then also show that she's clever enough to figure it out and be
able to explain it all. You know, like it's just a really quick shortcut to
just be like, these people are extremely intelligent. These people are going to take on
Godzilla. You will believe they can do it. Let's move on. Yeah,
yeah. Because then we end up jumping to the Self Defense Corps.
Ooh boy. I'm going to murder this one. Shibora Base. That's what it says.
And that's what it says. Yeah, I guess that's how it's pronounced.
Shibora. That sounds about right. Yeah. And this is where they've taken our Trickster Kudo.
And the lady explains their motive for bringing them there. Hey,
in the following clip. Hey, this place is the pits. What is it anyway?
It used to be a warehouse. Now it's our HQ. Oh, right.
Afternoon, miss. Ever since in 96 Godzilla
reduced Osaka to a heap of rubble, the government has been collecting data on the
monster's characteristics. Four years ago, it created an anti Godzilla
command unit within the Self Defense Forces. But there's one thing I don't quite understand.
I thought Godzilla was attracted by a radioactive leak.
And if there are no more leaks, then there's no more Godzilla.
You're right. In theory, we have nothing to fear.
However, that's only in theory. The one way to be certain would
be to eliminate Godzilla once and for all. So inside the facility, it is
presented as more impressive, with lab coats and computers
galore. But this area looks smaller than a typical insurance office.
And the name of this organization is G
Graspers all in one word. And honestly, that's fucking stupid.
So it's two GS with an R. Like graspers?
Basically, yeah. And okay, so on Corrupted Youth, Brennan and
I did this episode, and I think we referred to them as
good graspers the entire time because we just thought it was so
dumb. So I'm probably going to do it here too. I came really close to
stealing a term from Darren's son that he
used in the last episode in my notes for next week. So I am totally
fine with us just calling on the G Graspers. G Graspers. G Grasper.
So the woman gives our dude a brief rundown of the departments
and the movie's relevant team members. But since I don't
want to take all those notes, it's our next clip. Section one's job
is to search for Godzilla. Section two studies the monster's organism and its
behavior. Section three over there handles statistics and logistics in case of
evacuation. Search study statistics, huh? You're really
taking the threat seriously. Move Positioning monitor from D1
to M3. Number 7 satellite monitoring system check.
And this is the command center for our combat troops,
the G Graspers. This is Hosono, our pilot. This is
Nakura, our information officer. Hello there.
Our radio operator, Mr. Mima. He used to serve in the Submarine Corps.
Here's Okamura. He was a captain in the Rangers like me.
And my name is Kiriko Tsujimori. Major.
I'm in charge. Kudo. Ms.
Yoshizawa. This really is quite a surprise. I haven't seen you since
4th grade physics class at high school. A small world. Yeah, those guys are
just background bodies. But hey, at least they were given names.
G Grabbers. They're red shirts. They're the red shirts of the G
Force. The G Grabbers. They really are.
They're just kind of there when like they just need somebody to be next
to the main woman here. Yeah, it's screen filler. And it's people
that look good in caps and jackets and all of that kind of shit,
you know. That's all you need. You just need someone that looks like a squad.
Yep. And hey, Japan is great for this.
In all their Kaiju stuff, I love a good just
uniform team. That's cool. I'm not
really the big fan of the GeForce unit. I think that kind of comes through
with a lot of my review stuff and my attitude towards them. But I'm actually
glad to see that someone actually really likes all that human stuff. With all the
military forces and the people running around. That's good. I'm glad that you enjoy it.
Yeah. I mean like one good thing is I don't know how familiar you
are with Ultraman, but enough. The Science Patrol in there.
Yeah, man. Those guys have bomb ass outfits where like it's like blaze
orange and they have ties. Don't they kind of match Ultraman a little bit too.
Like their Suits look a little bit like Ultraman's for the same. I kind
of remembered it that way vaguely. I mean, it might be in later series.
I'm not super, super familiar. I just have. I kind of
more watch one guy's videos about Ultraman. All right.
Yeah. And I'm old school Ultraman. But then after that I'm like,
I don't know. I'll just watch somebody talk about it. Yeah, I like the old
school Ultraman a lot. That's more my flair. I've been really into that. That was
on TV a lot when I was a kid. And we're on a tangent,
so we'll have to come back here shortly. As far as Ultraman goes, he's a
Kaiju that we kind of do need to discuss because he runs parallel with that.
And we can save that a little bit more for the 20 minutes. But I
do like where you're coming from with the everybody's on a
team. And then the team all has a very stylish look to them. It's very
Fantastic Four. It's very old school X Men. It's very like. Like you said,
Science Force and Ultraman, which is. Those are some super cool outfits as well.
And I like when that carries over. I just don't like it when it's all
black leather like they end up doing after the Matrix in some of these films.
Yeah, yeah, about that. Well,
we're not there yet, so let's move.
I don't. I don't want to spoil anything for anybody who doesn't know.
Yeah, yeah. Future review, folks. That'll be a future review. Yeah. Okay, back to
it. When the woman scientists asked Kudo how he would answer if he
were asked to join the team, he states with just all
conviction that he has no wish to die young. And it's
funny because this causes the scientist woman to stare off into space
and have a flashback to her colleagues being killed
during a Godzilla attack. And it's like that. It's like the. The. The joke about
Vietnam, you know, where the guy just stares off and then it just fades.
And there's the helicopters. Yeah. You have someone having a flashback or a PTSD
sort of triggered moment, and then we hear the audio of what's going
on in their head and we see them reacting to it and doing an acting
moment, but we really don't know much more than that. And it's kind of a
cheat. And you're right, it's used a lot in the 80s about Vietnam vets and
shit. Yeah. I Mean, at least. At least we get to see it in this
though. I mean, they do an alright job with it. Yeah, but usually when they
have the worst, is what I'm saying, the flashbacks that are the worst is when
it's all audio and you just have it on the actor's face. Yeah. Because then
it just becomes comical. Right, right. It's like Leslie Nielsen time in
fucking Naked Gun or some shit. Right?
Or Airplane is a good one. Yeah, anything Leslie Nielsen wise.
That's what I'm picturing with what we just described, you know?
Yeah. So anyways, after a flashback, the scientist
woman, she reveals that they're developing a
plasma weapon that can produce a miniaturized black hole to capture
Godzilla for all of eternity. And then she shows him a fancy vectored simulation
on a monitor. And we get more details in this clip. This is
really far out. The world's first man made black hole. Incredible. And miniaturized.
I'd never have believed. Believed it. Right now we're still at the research stage.
According to preliminary figures, we must reduce it to 2 meters. Enough to
launch it from a satellite. Attack Godzilla from space. What a great
idea. But we must be careful not to damage the planet. If everything goes
as planned, we'll fire. The black hole into Godzilla from orbit. Right now, the black
hole's too big. So we're counting on you. You won't be disappointed, I promise.
This sounds totally sane and completely safe. Nothing will possibly go wrong.
I can honestly tell you that. I can't think of any reason why human
beings being able to rand generate black holes inside of anything is
a good or bad idea, let alone firing black holes at will. Like I.
For real? Yeah, Like I very much fail to
see how anything about this situation as to why they're doing this with
science makes any sense at all as to why they would want to do it.
Like, I know they were trying to destroy Godzilla, but why would you choose black
hole, right? Like, why would you go that far? Like, I know they don't have
a lot of other options. And this is another one of those movies that's been
reset a billion times, right? Because it's 1954, this Godzilla. It's been that.
It's like every Millennium Movie is going to be that way, but. Oh yeah,
buckle up. Yeah. Were they already generating black holes?
They don't tell us this in the movie. It's just all of a sudden,
hey, by the way, we have this capability. So we're going to kill Godzilla by
shooting him with a black hole, right? Like that's basically what they say. They're going
to shoot him with a black hole. Yeah. And also they need this guy
to help them out with it, because for some reason, they can do it,
but they can't do it without him. And this is kind of where his
character, this Kudo guy, starts rubbing me the wrong way. Well, they wanted to
do a karasaw. He's just. He doesn't have the gravitas or the charisma
of the other actors that have done this kind of character before. This guy just
doesn't have it. He's just. He's like Bill Pullmaning everywhere, where you're just like,
oh, shut the fuck up. Yeah. And they're making him, like,
kind of like a slacker type because they want to update it for 2001.
Yeah, that's what I meant by Bill Pullmaning everywhere. I'm sorry.
He just. He does. I don't know what it is about him, but he just.
He reminds me of, like, that kind of guy where, like, Bill Pullman is an
actor, where he always seems like he just learned his lines five minutes before.
Before showing up on set. You know what I mean? Where I'm like, what the
fuck is on with this guy? Every single time.
Like, he's just like. He's the same no matter what. And he just, like,
he. Like everything that is wrong with slackers is what I associate with
Bill Pullman just because of the way that I feel like he just doesn't take
his job seriously. I don't know why. I just have this issue with it,
but I do. But there we go. I'm never gonna look at Bill Pullman the
same way ever again. Yeah, because this guy's gonna remind you of him
from now on. Every time you look at Bill Pullman, you're gonna think of this
scientist are gonna be like, God damn it, corn, I hate you.
Oh, boy. Well, you know, there's an alert that temperatures are
rising in the ocean near Japan, and they fear a Godzilla return.
And there's also an increase in urgency to get that weapon working.
So then. Well, I guess it's gonna take three months,
because it's three months later and we find out it's summer vacation.
And meet our obligatory irritated child in this clip.
Hey there. Good morning, kids, and welcome to the.
Show made just for you. That's right, it's Kids Kingdom. And what's
today? The first day of summer vacation.
That's right. No more school for a whole two months. Terrific.
Where are you going like that? June, it's nearly lunchtime. We're gonna eat soon.
I collected some insects. I'm gonna show them to Ataru. Okay.
Would I've chosen this dialogue? Is a clip yes. The answer is yes. Is there
dialogue? Yes. Clip. Simple. Okay.
Yeah, I thought it. Yeah, the kids are irrit. It moves the story along.
It's totally fine. Yeah,
okay. Corey, you're doing an excellent job. Dan, you're clipping everything
that I would have clipped. We can move on. I was just. I was putting
myself like, what would Matt do? And I was like, Matt would want
to play this clip just to irritate Cort.
Well, many of the clips that I choose are also just to irritate
Matt. And in my show that we'll be doing next, I'm a lot nicer to
you with my clips. It's weird. We'll see. We'll see about that.
Anyway, this dingus kid just happens to stumble
on the graspers running a weapon test that's
weirdly super close to his home and completely not secure.
There's no security around this at all. And they're shooting black holes.
Again, just the ability to create any kind of size of black
hole in any way, shape or form should be very heavily regulated and guarded.
It's the most powerful thing we know of. It's gravity that can crush
literally anything. I understand why they're doing this for Godzilla, but it's a really stupid
idea just to let dumb asses like this have access to it. Well, you know
what the problem is, Cort, is that you come from America and there's way too
much. Everybody's regulating everything all the time. Too much government
overreach. Got to be more like Japan.
We should all be able to just shoot black holes in our backyards.
It's every human being's God given right to have a black hole gun.
Let's move on. That's right. Just the way God and intended.
Well, there's some science woman chatter reminding us
that all of this is only possible because
plasma energy and as they prepare to test the weapon
and you know, that just brings us to the end of our first 20.
We're doing the thing that I usually do with Matt where we're having too much
fun and we're vibing and we're kind of going back and forth about stuff and
talking. So all the stuff that I needed to bring up about this 20 minutes,
I think we've pretty well hit. Although I do just want to reiterate that I
don't think that it's everybody's right to own a black hole gun. Just like.
I don't. Just like, I don't think that every human being should be able to
own a tank or nuclear missile or I don't fucking know.
Maybe. Maybe flamethrowers should be pretty heavily regulated before
you just go tossing those around to let people own them too. But who knows?
Whatever. I mean, these are coming from the people who just like, complain all the
time of, like, why are there warnings on stuff about not putting it in your
butt? Because you're the same people putting it in your butt.
I had no idea the vacuum cleaner was gonna damage
me in such a way. I put the corner attachment on.
Yeah. Just the way it is. Let's move on
to the next 20. Let's do that. They test fire
the weapon at an old building. And the bomb of black hole just
leaves a trench in its wake before engulfing the entire building and
vanishing as our kid looks on. And, man,
I imagine this kid just hilariously just getting sucked into this black
hole. I'm assuming that they have some kind of calculation to know
how to cause the black hole to eventually close. Because isn't one of the things
about a black hole is it just keeps growing because it keeps bringing more matter
into it. And then that matter becomes part of it and it just. Like.
We don't even know what's really going out the other side of black holes.
But what we do know is the gravity going into it is so dense and
strong that it literally crushes everything. I mean, yeah.
I don't know, man. This whole thing with this weapon,
it's like, you just gotta go with it. Yeah, go with it. Trust me,
a black hole gun is a fucking cool idea. The minutiae
around it is terrifying. This is why
you just have to press the I believe button in a Kaiju movie and just
not think too heavily about it. Because otherwise all the stuff that the humans are
doing are way more terrifying than what the Kaijus are doing. Right? Like, sure.
Kind of on purpose to some degree. Yes.
Yeah. But there's a weird distortion that briefly remains at
the location of impact with the building. And they're just like, oh, it's a wormhole.
Yes, we know that. Einstein, Rosen, bridges are a thing that exists.
Isn't kind of that what they were trying to do is like make a wormhole
kind of to suck out Godzilla in. I don't know, Whatever. Yeah, we gotta stop
thinking about it. Yeah. The black hole's supposed to go to somewhere, but all they
care about is that Godzilla goes away from here, they don't care what happens to
him or what ends up happening at the other direction. Right? Like, they didn't test
this. As far as we know. They're just. They're trying this with a building now.
Like, maybe they should try and see where the building goes and what happens with
it and all that shit. I mean, again, we're thinking too much about it.
We're going to be here all fucking night. We should move on. Right? And you
know, hopefully that building doesn't get sucked to an alternate universe where it just lands
on a school or.
An alternate universe that is 100ft directly below where the building was before,
so that it drops on an entire city and destroys a planet.
That's not their problem. No, not at all. They don't care as long as they
get rid of Godzilla with it. So, yeah, that kid gets
busted in the woods and Kiriko decides to let him off easily. In this clip.
Hey, tell me something. Can you keep a secret? Like what? Well, like not telling
anyone about what you saw just now. Not to anyone. Not mom or dad.
Say, are you a G grasper? Yes, I am. But you're a
woman. So how come you're fighting Godzilla? Aren't you scared? What about
our secret? Can you keep it? Good. So long,
Mr. Insect. Well, that night, that little misogynist piece of
shit sees the silhouette of something fly past his window. He heads out
with a flash flashlight to investigate and sees another wormhole.
And he gets a weird. Like this weird insect flies into it and
he freaks out, starts heading back, only to find a. Some type of
smoldering, lumpy egg shaped object that clearly is
some type of egg. And like any kid, he's like, well,
yeah, I'm going to take this home. So. And this is weird
too, because now the kid is relocated to. To Tokyo because his dad
got a job transfer and not because the writers needed an excuse to get the
kid and the egg there. But that is in
no way, shape or form a plot device. That man worked his entire life to
get this promotion to get to Tokyo from Osaka,
therefore, that egg needs to go there. It's fine. Yeah.
So next time your boss asks you if like, your kid has a Uzi egg
at home from possibly space, you know?
Yeah. Don't answer. Yeah, inst. It could be.
It could be a hindrance to your promotion, right? They could be like, no,
we shouldn't send you to Tokyo. Or in this case, if it's there, it's like,
yeah, we should send you There instead of here, so that we're safe from this
thing. Yeah, but that egg is now oozing goop, and the kid decides,
well, it's best to throw it away. However, when he goes to do it,
some lady gives him shit about taking the trash out at a specific time.
So he decides to just dump the egg in the sewer system.
And as we know, for movies, this is the best way to handle
the situation, and there will absolutely be no repercussions whatsoever.
Yeah, I've seen a documentary called Alligator, right, that had a guy in it that
was trying to deal with some things like this that happened from an alligator
that was eating. That got flushed down the sewer, that was eating dogs that were
genetically modified or had some kind of weird hormone thing that made it go super
big. Nothing wrong. It'd be fine. Yeah, it's totally cool. Yeah, sewer systems.
Get rid of things, everything will be fine. That's right again. We don't want that
government overreach. Exactly. Well, anyways, at the Goo
Grasper, Jim, our fun slacker, smart dude.
He expresses his view on physical fitness and delivers a special gift
for Kiriko in this clip. Bodybuilding, huh? What a waste of time.
What's that? Why do you need to be fit when you're gonna make Godzilla disappear
up his own butthole? Huh? Here, I brought you this. It's a standard ammo round,
but it contains a special micro transmitter. If you happen to be in danger,
then you just fire it. As soon as the bullet's been fired, the transmitter activates.
I can lock onto the signal and come quickly to your rescue. You. You better
build up your body first. I don't hate that we're watching her work out while
he's talking. But, like, I also. Yeah, like you said during the clip, I see
his point. Like, we're just going to die. What's it matter?
Yeah, I mean, they're both kind of right in all the wrong
ways. Kudo finds Kiko's dead commander's
dog tags just lying about in this gym because she carries a. Carries them
around with her all the time, apparently. And before he can trigger another traumatic flashback
for a woman, a guy comes up and just. He just
spills the tea on her situation. So then Kiriko asked to test
the tracking bullet and just fires it into a weight. So I get. I mean,
I guess now Kudo has to make another one. That's pretty cool, I guess.
No, now he has to figure out a way to fire the weight into Godzilla
with the tracking bullet on it. Because they only had the one. We're gonna need
a bigger gun. We're gonna need a gun that can fire a weight that has
a tracking bullet stuck in it. Long story.
Meanwhile, under the city. Right? Oh, man. That egg is just plopping
off little eggs into the water. So that's good. Was it more like an egg
sack or is it like. Do you think it's like dividing? Well, it kind of
gets into it because like, these little eggs become all these like little
tiny bugs that we're going to see here in a little bit. Okay. Yeah.
Back at Good Grasper Lab, the weapon is being modified for use on
a satellite. And because I'm mad with power, it's our next clip. Installation installation
complete. Confirm safety zone. Checking. Activate number three circuit.
Are you sure that's going to fit on a satellite? The problems of payload
and ballistics have been solved. Godzilla has nowhere to hide. We'll be able to attack
Godzilla from space at any point on the planet. It needed a genius to think
of it. Congratulations. The JSA has reserved a launch. Wow.
Kid is shocked to find water coming up from the street and yeets off.
But there's some maintenance guys who go to check it
out as a bug on a building looks on. But since
these guys are fun, let's clip them.
Hey, don't break out of now. Come on. I'll pay overnight.
Now. Why is it always me? Look, there's another one
of those leaks right under there. Really weird. Yeah. What's going on?
Maybe we ought to call in an excavator and dig
the whole street up. You think so? Don't you think so? If we leave
it, it'll get worse. And then what'll happen? But we get it in the neck
of it. But we get complaints from the residents. We can't dig it. We'll get
off with leash. Hey, cut that out, will you? You know I hate that.
Near some sewer maintenance, a couple gets picked off by a fairly large
bug creature. And this is pretty goopy. And it's
kind of brutal for a Godzilla movie. Yeah, I actually really like the Maguiris
monster. And the. I forget what the sub like little monsters are that
spawn off of it. I forget what they're called. But I really dig the monster
action in this with all these little bugs killing people and stuff. It's really cool.
Shit. It reminds me of Destroya and
the little mini Destroyas. How they were sort of an alien reference.
Only this is more like. These things just show up in total monster movie.
Just slaughter people. Oh, yeah, and they kind of did a thing like this and.
Oh, shit. What the hell is that? Found footage.
Cloverfield. Yeah, a little bit where they had. Those smaller bugs
that came off and like, I don't know, you got bit by one and you
just fucking explode into a pile of blood. Yeah, they were a parasite that
were coming off of it. They called them seats. Something else also terrible.
They do remind me a little bit of that. Yeah, yeah. Well, shit, that goes
back to even Godzilla. 84. Yeah, the sea Lass.
You did. Yeah, yeah. You did that with us. And they had the whole,
like, ship in the beginning with all the corpses and shit on there. That was.
I wish there was more of that. That was pretty rad. All right,
back to the notes. So the bug that kills a couple quickly molts and
becomes a flying insect that does a quick flyby just to
with that kid. And the
next day Kiriko has a heart to heart talk with the kid like in
a park on some stumps and. Well, I guess that's our next clip.
Look, it really isn't your fault now. Don't worry. Yeah, but if I hadn't
taken the egg with me. No, we're the ones to blame. It was because of
the plasma experiment. An insect must have been in the way. I gu. And it
mutated. Remember you asked me back in the forest why a woman would
want to fight Godzilla? A friend once said,
when you're afraid of something, then you don't run,
you fight it. The person who said that,
he was my commanding officer. He was fighting Godzilla
too. I'm just carrying on where he left off.
Am I making any sense?
Look, this is a Meganulon.
It grows into a Meganula. And last
night I saw one flying over the city. Good thing that kid has a book
of interdimensional insects. I realized while we were listening
to that clip that this is the fly, the megaguirus, or Megyrus,
or however it's supposed to actually be pronounced. Because I think, as I mentioned earlier,
Megagirus, that you. The way you pronounce it is probably the correct way of saying
it. I said that you'll. They'll probably hear that in the outtakes, but I think
that this is the fly, right? Because it's a man doing a transporter thing.
And he's like trying to do transport, you know, like, you know, beam transportation
or electronic transportation or teleportation or what have you. And a
fly gets involved and then the teleporter doesn't know what to do with the guy.
So he mixes him and the fly together, and there's a fly with human arm
and a human head, and then there's the human with the fly arm and a
fly head, right? Well, in this case, they shoot a black hole at a building
and they have a bug fly in, and it basically creates an interdimensional
bug. But it's essentially kind of the same thing where they're trying to open up
a wormhole or they're trying to open up a portal, or they're trying to do
some transportation of some sort by moving Godzilla from here to somewhere, the fuck else.
But instead they fuck up and end up creating a fly.
That explains why Mega Gear attacks are really kind of gruesome. And like,
a lot of this stuff is really goopy and slimy and gross. They're doing a
Cronenberg fly. Man, oh man. I didn't even think about that. No, it just came
to me. Like, I just. I'm just thinking that that's kind of what, like,
it seems like that' the creature of reference that it feels like. Because it is
really goopy and gross, like the fly. Which is probably why I like this one
as much as I do, because it makes no fucking sense. But, man, do I
like it anyway. Hey, you just gotta go with
these movies sometimes. But that's part of the fun of it, though. It's just not
giving a shit. Just like the Graspers, because they've detected some wild
heat and radiation sensor readings, and it's from Godzilla.
But that damn insect is also spotted. So it's time
to launch the Super Needle Fighter Griffin. And this thing's like,
I don't know, it's your typical kind of sci fi, Kaiju Japanese
amazing jet that can do whatever. It's another Super X. They do
a ton of these, right? Like, yeah, it's Super X or Super.
What was the Gruda or whatever. Whenever they did the Kira and Gruta,
where they had the things locked together, it was like their version of a Super
X that they did in the 80s version version as well. It's just like the
maser, right? They have masers all along. They just start calling them masers later
on in the series at some point. And I don't even know when that happens.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know. What is it? A maser is like a
microwave laser. Yeah. That was the whole thing that they're trying to do that seems
like an 80s fucking Godzilla thing is when that really debuted, I can't really remember.
It all mixes together at this point. Yeah, I always like this little element of
super science from the humans. Like, there's just enough. Oh, it's. It's mad science.
It has to be mad science to battle a Kaiju. There's no. There's nothing else
that will do. That's why they're firing a black hole, because it has to be
mad science. But anyways, yeah, so they. They use this big
fancy jet to drop a rubber raft.
Seems useful, but okay. I mean,
I guess, like, maybe they needed that to do that. I don't know.
Kiriko and another guy descend from a rope down to the raft to
find a large mutilated bug just floating around, and they drop
a mic down into the water to. I think they're
getting Godzilla on their podcast. They're trying to get that.
That rare interview that I'm still seeking as well. Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, we're all trying to just. Man, when's Godzilla going to come on the podcast
as a guest? He's very busy, you know, very big
in Japan. Very big in Japan. But I don't know. It's just.
It's just to confirm that Godzilla's underwater, which she
is. And he emerges and capsizes the raft, and Kiriko
proves she's a badass and swims over to Godzilla,
climbs onto him, and fires a tracking bullet into Godzilla.
Then it's called an sgs. It's Search Godzilla
System Sub is launched,
and it's launched to round out the second 20.
All right, so we're in the second 20 break right now, huh? Yes.
So we're hitting the third. All right. I'm not sure what I
really want to add about all of this, because I think we're just kind of
in the phases where we're just in the. Everything starting to happen as things kind
of move into place. Not really deep stuff to talk about or anything like that,
other than the sgs. I mean, it sounds
like a corporation that's responsible for, like, food service industry or something.
Sgs. Anyway, we can move on.
Yeah, well, don't get too used to it, because I don't even
know why it's even in there, to be honest. Yeah, it's very brief,
but we get. Our third 20 happening now. All right, let's go. The weapon,
dubbed the Dimension Tide, is complete, and it
gets launched into space, because that was their whole plan was to. From earlier,
if you don't recall, is to just have it on a satellite so that way
they can just shoot it from anywhere. Also just. Yeah, great idea.
That's funny, but we. We get an analysis
of the samples taken from from the bug in the water and oh
man, there's some big news. That will be our next clip. That giant dragonfly
you discovered, I can now confirm is a Meganula.
The Meganula dragonfly existed here on Earth
about 350 million years ago in the early Carboniferous
period. I thought it extinct. The larval stage is called a
Meganulon. It develops in the water and then split,
sprouts wings to become a Meganula. Huh?
What's the matter? The Meganula usually lives in
big swarms. What's more, it's aggressive.
Extremely. Haven't you been watching the news, Barton? We're right
above the Shibuya district of Tokyo at the moment. And as you can see,
the whole area is underwater. The flooding seems to have been the result of a
violent rise of the water table, although experts still have no idea if the exact
cause. Rescue units are being rushed to Tokyo from all over Japan.
But the whole area is in total. Chaos with people trying to flee the city
causing huge traffic snarl ups everywhere. There have been no reports of
injuries. We must check this out first. Eight points are being set up at strategic
locations. Could this be any help? Any influx of casualties, health officials?
It's a miniature SGS vaccination campaign in. The days to come to prevent any
spread of disease. Not just a mini sgs, but it also has an
infrared camera too. Oh man. So the city floods for no reason other
than it just floods. My thought is the megaguirus are, you know,
in the ocean or whatever and they're breeding so much that the ocean
levels are rising, right? Yeah. Or they want it.
Or they need that environment to thrive and they want to do it
in the city. Yeah. So somehow like they cause it also,
black holes are being fired off. So like a black hole could have opened up
under the ocean somewhere and then just poured in ocean from somewhere else in another
dimension on the other side. You know, like a wormhole could have been created and
just started pouring ocean in and flooded the city. It doesn't fucking matter. I mean,
black hole guns exist in this. Just accept it and move on. Yeah, we got
a guy in Osaka, his testicles are hanging out of his throat.
Weird black hole happening. Kane,
he's a Balcinian. Oh yeah. But anyways.
Yeah. So rescue operations are taking place in the flooded city
and the graspers are now using the new and improved
mini SGS drone sub to search underwater. I think that's
the only reason we got introduced to the other One is, because now, you know,
Kudo is so smart. He just made a small one,
and it's a drone. Yeah, I'm so smart. Look what I did. Well,
he works in microscience and miniaturization, so it makes sense. I mean,
they made a whole big thing about it, you know? Hey.
All right. Okay, I forgot the beginning of the movie. Also.
Also Kaiju film. If things show up on film, it exists, like,
except, you know, all you gotta do. Yeah. Okay.
So, yeah, they found Godzilla and they're tracking him north.
They don't know if the dimension tide, or which they also
call it dt, So I might just call it that from now on. They don't
know if it'll work through water, so they need to wait until he's on land
to use it. And it's believed he will make landfill fall on a
deserted island that's ideal to blast with a mini black hole. But officials
are concerned that it could have unforeseen disastrous results.
Like your testicles coming out of your throat. Kaney's a Balcinian,
so Kudo has developed an AI Assistant for the weapon because
he's just so good at everything and inventing
whatever. Need. Whatever the movie needs, he can do it. And this
just so happens to be a cartoonish sexy nerd on top of
it because he's also a pervert. Yep. I mean, he is kind of like
a single slacker dude. So he would. Sexy nurse. Oh,
that dude's got a full body pillow he calls Kumiko or some shit like that.
He's got one of those, like, printed pillows. Like, he's into all the shit,
man. Yeah, he's got. Oh, yeah, he's got it all, man. He's got those,
like, little weird maquettes that are, like, anatomically correct versions of, like,
famous anime characters that you can undress that, like, have special outfits. Outfits that
you put on super obsessive otaku Barbie doll shit. This is what this guy's
into. Like, he's. He's into all of it. He's got it all right there.
Yeah. You just wish you could be at his apartment when his mom shows up
and starts cleaning up, and she goes for that sock, and you're like, ma' am,
stop. I would like to preemptively warn
you, even though, that you raised this gentleman and you're pretty sure that you shouldn't
touch his socks directly and they should go right into the washer garbage.
That's not milk in that ch jug under his bed.
Wow. We really really, really are going after this guy. I don't think he deserves
all of this.
I don't know, man.
You're probably right. Yeah, let's just get back to the notes. What the hell?
Yeah, but there's just more concern as word gets out to the
team that officials were told the weapon was ready for
use despite a lack of testing, even though they tested it earlier. But, I mean,
I guess they didn't test it from SP space. Right. And jets patrol the
island and they drop charges down to attack Godzilla underwater.
And obviously he gets pissed, takes out a jet,
and with the help from the Griffin, they lure him
into. Onto the island. And back in the. Back in the city goes
down when a ton of bugs are covering the side of a building and some
soldiers just taking a boat through the city. They take a couple out as
these bugs are like, molting into their. Like becoming their, like their flying forms
and take off. So all those go to the island
and block the targeting system of the DT so they can't
target Godzilla now. And Godzilla starts blasting him with some of his atomic
breath. But there's a lot of them. And they swarm them because apparently he's an
energy source for them to feed on. And he just starts tail swatting them and
more atomic breath. And he takes all the majority of them. That's a really cool
little battle where he gets swarmed by these things. They built all of them.
It looks really, really excellent. And I love watching him fight
all of these tiny little dragonflies and the strategy that he uses.
And he almost does, like the horsetail whip with them when he's, like, taking them
out in certain areas too. It's really well done. I'm actually really,
really a big fan of this movie because of these
sequences where they fight. Like, this stuff is really well done. This is some of
the best suit stuff and best miniature work that they do to
date, I think. I mean, like, it really is a kind of a high watermark.
The Godzilla 2000 had some really great stuff, but a lot of really ropey cg.
I think they kind of corrected that. And they may have gone overboard and they're
like, all right, fine, we're just going to build a giant fucking cityscape for them
to fight in. Yeah. And this one, like, I like the bugs that they just
have hanging out on Godzilla look really good. Like the actual real ones.
Some of the CG1 work in this movie is just ass.
Yeah. And it's. And it's like. It's like they kind of
aren't even trying with it, which is disappointing. Yeah. I still like the sequence
and it still works for me overall. But I agree with you. The CG does
kind of drag it down and it makes it harder to push the I believe
button for it. But it's a great fight. Yeah, it's a cool little.
Anytime anything gets swarmed by bugs, it kind of just.
It's just creepy, crawlying weird. And the fact that they're like.
It's a giant monster being swarmed by giant bugs, it becomes like a weirder
version of that where like you get that icky, icky swarmed feeling. But at
the same time, they're giant monsters. So it's absolutely terrifying because one of those things
is probably bigger than me. Oh yeah, you're feeling itchy after this. Yeah, it's just.
I don't know. I think that's the reason why this film works for me so
well. It's definitely not the story. It's definitely all of the monster stuff.
And then the little swarmy monsters really work for me too. Yeah. So now that
Godzilla's taken out the majority of those insects, the DT can
now be fired. And they do it. But womp, womp, famous Godzilla.
And it's another hour for the weapon to cool down before they can use it
again. All they can do is watch Godzilla walk away
into the end of our third 20. Oh, man, that was.
That was a bit. That was just. I don't know, it was a bit much
that they. They have to have a thing where it can only fire
once and then it has to cool down and then they reset it. It really
reminds me of the laser from Real Genius. You remember, like the single shot
laser that was like so powerful it would burn someone from space. Like this.
This whole like black hole gun that shoots from space now really reminds
me of that or that specific laser. And I can't help but draw that
parallel in my mind every time that I watch this film. That's all I needed
to really point out. Unless there's something else you want to kind of discuss.
We're going through it as we go through it. So I have not thought of
Real genius in probably 20 years at least.
And now I'm like, I need to watch Real Genius again.
I still quote that film almost daily,
not quite daily, but I pretty frequently will say one line
or make some kind of reference to real genius or something like that.
The one that I always love is terrible. His looks like mine and mine looks
like his or his looks. His looks like me and Mine looks like his
because she handed him the wrong. Yeah. Anyway, back to the notes. Well,
as we enter our fourth 20 minute segment, something weird is amiss.
According to the G grasper's head or the head guy's
phone call. And it's. I'm gonna stop mumbling and
put it in this clip. Yes, sir. I expect Godzilla to head towards the Tokyo.
Its target will be the National Chemistry Institute in Shibuya.
Are you quite sure, sir? I thought the project had been shut down. Yes,
sir. In fact, I personally signed the orders for the closure. No,
in fact, measures are being taken for your protection, sir. Yes,
you can count on me, I promise you. Yeah, so whatever that clip means,
I'm sure we'll find out soon enough because it sounds like they're up to some
shady shit. A swarm of those flying bugs
goes back to the flooded city and dives under the water where that
egg from earlier has grown quite large. And it gets a little like,
it's kind of lumpy too now. And they start pumping energy that they
were pulling from Godzilla. And it just kind of sits down there and undulates.
And once they are done, it appears they die off because they
just kind of float to the surface. Yeah, these things are almost like
the. Like they have to feed this thing. Like they're going out and harvesting
energy right from Godzilla and. And then they're feeding this strange, like,
egg sac thing that is either something in a larval
state that is putting these things out to help feed it and help it grow,
or it is just this hive.
And that's what they do. They're like almost wasps where they, you know,
or bees where they just die and then, you know, they're dead.
They have one purpose. They're created for one thing and one thing only. And that's
it. Yeah, I think it's a nice touch, honestly. Like, it's kind of cool.
Yeah, I do. I it. Love. Yeah. Like I said, I'm a fan of this
film. I've got nothing negative to say about anything other than the cg, which I've
already gone over in previous episodes of how much I dislike and how disappointing it
is in the Millennium Series, the CG usage. But you just have to kind of
like, either put up with it and enjoy what you can with the suit stuff,
or hope that you can't realize how bad it actually looks in high
definition when you're watching it in 4K, because it does. It doesn't look good.
Yeah. And just like, you're just getting mad at that.
Tensions are Rising at Good Grasper hq. But it's. It's another
clip. What are you talking about? It wasn't my fault. It was.
You're responsible. I told you the equipment wasn't ready, but you wouldn't listen.
What are you doing?
All of us want to defeat Godzilla, so let's not fight.
The equipment needed fine tuning and that's now done. It'll work next time
round. Forgive me. I want the sgs to start a search.
I want every inch covered on a straight line from Kigajima island
to Tokyo City. Do you think that Godzilla's heading for Tokyo?
Well, it's quite possible. And if Godzilla is headed that way, we have
to be prepared for the worst. Kudo is perplexed by the malfunction of his
little drone sub because he's the best at doing machines.
But when a soldier states their radio have also been
going out, Kudo suspects magnetic interference below the water is to blame.
And right on cue, the egg hatches and a giant mean, spiky insect
emerges and rises above the water right in front of him. It takes a quick
loop just to show off, and then flaps its wings, causing a high pitched
sonic attack that destroys buildings surrounding Kudo. There's a few shots
of CG flying that don't look great with
the Megaguirus when we finally see it, that that's emerging here. But overall,
so many shots of it moving around, flapping its wings and stuff, it's like a
really ugly, fucked up fly version of Mothra that I think is really cool.
Yeah. Did you guys get to Battra yet? Yes,
we've covered that. Okay. I can't remember. It's all just a blur. Yeah. So did
it remind you of Battra a little bit too? Is that why you're kind of.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of cool when it like emerges too and
like how the wings kind of form and everything. Yeah, they kind of. It reminds
me a little bit of like in rebirth of Mothra 3 when you.
When she emerges from her cocoon, there's like a clear wings
and clear Mothra and then the color comes in as she sort of grows and
transforms. And the CG was just to augment that while it's
happening and they're flapping around. They use CG to drain out the color and then
they put it back in. And I think that actually looked really cool the way
that they did it. And they do some similar things with the transformation here where
they have the puppets, they have the suit or whatever. It's supposed to be.
And then they augment it a little bit with cg. And in some spots it
looks a little romantic because it's 22,000, you know, CGI. It's just not going
to look that great. But the amount of suit stuff that they use to be
able to make that happen is still very impressive. Yeah. It's surprisingly
decent for the time. And considering it's also like not American
quality, but it gets the job done. Yeah. The latex,
the special effects, everything that they. Whatever they have, they don't have the money.
They don't do the big Hollywood budget stuff there. But what they have
is this can do. Let's put on a show attitude with everything that they do
that really makes up for that in Japanese films. It really does. Yeah. But let's
get back to the movie. I'm reeling it in. Kudo. He wakes up with a
bandaged head and gets some explanation of what he encountered
in our next clip. Better not move around. You have a fractured arm there.
You're lucky it wasn't worse. That would suit you
fine, huh? That thing was absolutely huge. It was the king
of the Meganula. Yes. It's called Megagoras.
Megaguras. Yes. A specimen that is chosen
among the Meganula. Like a queen bee.
Some years ago, I believe a fossil was found somewhere
in eastern China. Megagoras is a formidable fighter,
attacking enemies whatever size to expand its territory.
The species remained almost invincible for
several million million years. Major,
the SGS has spotted Godzilla. You better remain here. The city begins evacuation.
And we get some callbacks to the maintenance guys and the shit kid with
his mom as they flee. And they're out of the movie.
Goodbye. Yeah, I'm always happy whenever
annoying people are gone. Yep. And Kiriko questions why Godzilla would
be headed to Tokyo since there is no energy production in the city for
him to feed off of. And the head of Kagrasper just smokes
suspiciously. And science woman gives him a look.
Withering looks. Griffin gets launched. As Godzilla
approaches. They fire photon guns at him and it just pisses him off for
some more luring. They're just trying to get him to go somewhere. And Megaguirus
shows up and starts some with Godzilla and knocks him on his ass.
He takes his person only and fires off some atomic breath. But Mrs. Megaguirus does
its swing thing and it causes power disruption in the area so they can't fire
off the DT proper. And the DT is now down.
And the Griffin's control systems fail as well.
And they didn't back up the file. So the
dt, you know, it's not looking good.
Yeah, I just like that other, like, oh, no, there's not a backup
file. And I was like, that slacker dude. Right?
We've all been there. This is why I always back up everything. You have to
have redundancy. You just have to. You just need some really awful bad things to
happen. And then you go like, shit, I'm just backing everything up now.
Yeah. All it takes is for you to lose all of your illegal library just
once. Just once. And then, boom, you're backing everything up. Damn. You hate
to see it. Yeah. But the Kaiju battle and this
is pretty awesome. Like, Godzilla, Godzilla. Oh,
my God. I'm channeling the people in this movie. Godzilla, Godzilla. It drives me
crazy. Anyways, he gets a stinger in the dick. Yeah. I mean,
it looks like it's kind of the dick. And it's fucking funny because the struggle
looks very sexual. And then he, like, can't fire off
his atomic breath because apparently he just can't perform.
Now, I think something happened with the stinger that, like, had,
like, a paralyzer or venom or something that made it to where he can't fire
off the atomic breath. It's clearly a work. They have to do something here because,
I mean, Megaguirus is pretty horrifying. There's some really raunchy,
awful things about him, like stabbing people in the dick with your venomous
tail thing or whatever. But, like, really, it's not that
much more powerful than, like, a moderately powerful Mothra. It's just
that it's just emerged and it's a flying thing. And because Godzilla's
ground, you know, force only, you know, and atomic breath, if he can't
hit it in the air with his atomic breath, he's got to wait for it
to come close enough for him to be able to get a hold of it.
Right. Like, that's the only real threat, let's face it, that Mickey Garrus has against
him. Really? Oh, for sure. And they've also, like, spent so much movie at
this point just kind of screwing around with other stuff that you don't really get
to have a Mega Gear that goes around and does things. Yeah.
That's one of the only complaints I would probably have is we don't get enough
time with this. But once the monster fight gets going, which I'm really itching to
talk about, man, it's really fucking good, though. Yeah. And part of me just wants
to, like, every time I talk about. About this stuff, I want to. I want
to talk about it. Like, we're like the old school wrestler announcers.
Yeah, well, I actually do my notes that way and I. I do try
to bring some of that energy in, but at the same time, if I
start unleashing that, it's just going to be a bunch of shouting into the microphone
and it wouldn't be much of a podcast. True story. Matt and I tried
to do a. A sketch a long, long time ago whenever we covered
the Philo Beto movies. Every which way but loose in any
which way you can. And we tried. Yeah, we tried to do like this commentary
thing, and it was literally just us shouting each other and like shouting into the
microphone, and it just did not work. So. And I, like, I thought of
doing something like that with Godzilla, but Bo and I already did that on his
show with the G spot where we had a little bit of like, you know,
sports after commentary and kind of stuff. So it's just one of those things that
I've always kind of avoided doing with Godzilla movies just for those reasons. There we
go. That's. Yeah, that's fair. But back to the
battle. Godzilla gets flown into a building and there's like a weird pointy
part of this building that gets dropped on his head and Godzilla gets up,
shakes it off, and now it's on Megaguirus.
Can't sneak up on Godzilla from behind and gets tail grappled
and tossed into a building. And with that, we wrap up the fourth 20.
The model work on the building. I was holding on to this because I knew
we had to be close. The model work on the building when he gets thrown
into that and when it falls on him and all that shit hits him,
it's really fucking good. This is some of the best skyscraper model work
that they have in these fights. Like, there's. There's like modern style,
like all glass, very little metal to it,
and they make sure that things shatter. And it just. It looks gorgeous.
Everything just looks so fucking good in this, like, this fight. This cityscape.
All of this is why I really love this movie. Because I admit everything else
about it is a complete mess and awful, but this is what I'm here for
all day is this fucking fight. Specifically, specifically, the building model
work in this is so good, where they're knocking over cranes and everything. I know
we're not there yet, but it's really fucking good. Yeah. And when
megaguirus is just. The actual prop itself
looks fantastic. I like the look of it. Yeah. When it's actually flying
around and they're actually animating it and like, you know, with the wires
and things like that. Like they do with Mothra traditionally. Looks fabulous.
Very creepy. Very gross. Very. Just not fucking right.
You know. It looks like a mutated Battra fly version of
Mothra like we talked about. Talked about before. And it's, you know, very,
very. Just still goopy and slimy and gloppy like
the fly. Like that's the one thing that I could never really wrap my head
around about what it was about him. And it's. They just cover him in ultra
slime. He's always goopy and slimy and gross looking on top of
everything else. You know. Like the only thing that they could do to make him
even more gross is like he just starts vomiting up all this awful green goop
everywhere that like starts dissolving things. You know what I mean? Like that's. That'd be
a fun attack. Yeah. That would be an attack that this thing you would kind
of expect. But it's a dragonfly. So we'll just let it poke them in the
crotch, I guess. I don't know. We can. Let's do
the next. Let's do the. This a final run now, right? Or. Yeah. Yeah.
We're in the. The final chunk of the movie. All right. Let's close her out.
So a bandaged Kudo can't be kept down because the movie needs
him to save everyone. As in these clips. What are
we waiting for? Let me try. Hey. You can't go in there.
Kudo. Hey. You're gonna have to give us something pretty quick. Give me a minute,
will ya? Kudo. Aren't you injured? I'm fine.
I didn't even know you cared. I care more about Dimension Tide.
What is the problem? Think you can fix it? I'm gonna have to receive damage
reports from ground based units. I don't really have any choice. Alright. Let's see what
the problem is. It's controlled by my original operating system.
I think I've got something. Your move, Kiriko.
Babe. Kiriko a major. So Kudo has
transformed his little sexy nurse AI into a jetpack.
Kiriko and I. Listen, I don't know. There's probably someone
in HR who's gonna have problems with that. But anyways,
she flies around in like matrix code hallways patching
up things like these weird like code holes with a fix it gun. I don't
know. It's a thing. It's a visual to say Computer
man do thing. Yeah, it's not quite as good as what they did with Hackers,
but it's still there. Yeah. And back to the fight. Megaguirus fires an
energy ball attack that makes Godzilla woozy, and Megaguirus goes
in for a stinger to the face. But wouldn't you know it, Godzilla catches the
stinger with his teeth and snaps it off. Megaguirus retreats,
only to get blasted into a fiery mass by atomic breath.
That was awesome. That was so. It was awesome. It was so cool.
Oh, my God. Everything about this fight. Like, we could go into every single detail
of all this stuff that's happening, because this is, like, pro wrestling. It's why you
want to do the pro nest wrestling announcement. There's a lot of tosses.
There's a lot of. Like, at one point, they're doing suplexes on each other
and shit. This fight is fucking amazing. Like, I don't want to go into detail
about it, because we will be here for fucking ever. But it's so good.
And I have no idea. Like, I don't really recall how I covered
a lot of this with uncorrupted youth, but I appreciate.
Like, every time I watch something, especially if I'm going to do it
for a podcast, I just go in first time. Like, just try to appreciate
it for what it is, because you never know. Sometimes you just get a little
change of opinion. Yeah, well, my whole opinion on Godzilla vs.
Destoroyah changed just from doing that for the review. Like, I completely fell in
love with the movie doing that for the review. Like, I kind of liked it,
and I enjoyed the battles and everything, but, like, I fell in love with the
whole storyline from doing the review of that film. And I sort
of from watching this with a critical eye of realizing that it's not that great
of a Godzilla film. It's just a really great set of fighting. Yeah. And that's
fine, too, if that's all you like. That's literally what I watch these for,
which is why I like this one so much. Yeah. And Destoroyah was the first
Godzilla film that I had my son Brennan, watch. Oh, perfect. Yeah,
we got that online when he was
really young. And I don't know how that happened. I don't recall. That was a
long time ago. But anyways. Yeah. So about this movie.
Yeah, back to the notes. Now, Godzilla is just fucking up
the city because he's just pissed off at this point. And the DT can only
make tiny farts up in space just like.
But they're not enough to keep it in orbit. So I guess it's just gonna
start falling down to earth and science. Lady. Good Grasper
Head Guy and the crew of the Griffin all meet on a rooftop to wrap
up any. Any lingering questions you may have about just what the hell is going
on with Godzilla Wanting to attack. Which is the best for
this clip? What is it doing there? What does Godzilla want in the Science Institute?
It wants plasma energy. Plasma? But they dropped
the plan, didn't they? In case it attracted Godzilla back again. The development of plasma
energy will bring tremendous wealth to our country in the future. And also guarantee
you a high position. I cannot deny that. But every country must have its secret,
right? Research projects. We did shut down the generator. I don't get it.
How did it know the lab existed? But it came all the same. All because
of your gross stupidity. Do you realize just how many people have died?
Don't you lecture me, Major. I organized the G Grasper section.
And look what a mess they made of everything. Here you go. Take it easy.
Bastard. You said hundreds to their deaths.
Yes? Hi. Gudo here. Thought you might like to listen to this.
300 seconds to firing. Continuing countdown. You managed to fix it?
Yeah. But it's still falling out of orbit. We better hurry now.
Is it me, or does this whole situation with the plasma generator make
no sense? Everything in the human story about this film makes absolutely
no sense. I'm literally only here for the monster fighting. And I'm kind of done.
I'm done with movie. I'm ready to be done. Exactly. So let's just move on.
Yeah. Yeah. So the DT can't target Godzilla,
but it can target the Griffin for some reason. And Kiriko
flies off solo because, you know, somebody's got to make the heroic
act. And as DT burns up and as it's entering the atmosphere,
they decide to fire it. And Kiriko ejects just in time.
And the Griffin hits Godzilla in the back. And he sees the
black hole ball approaching and fires a his atomic breath at it.
Then there's like a feedback beam and a big massive explosion. It appears
that their idea worked. Everybody cheers. Kiriko looks on,
triumphant from a rooftop. And then we get a news
report and a visit to Kudo Shop for our final clip. And although
plasma energy officially should have been discontinued, it seems a small research plant continued
to function at the Science Institute. The project was known only to a select few
within the government and was supervised in person by the chief of the Anti Godzilla
Unit attached to the Defense Agency. He'll be one of the chief witnesses of the
upcoming parliament inquiry. We've received a report. Seismic activity.
What if Godzilla had somehow managed to escape from the black hole we sent him
into? You think it's due to Godzilla? We'd like you to help us with it.
Not a chance. I've had just about enough of lizards for now. Sorry. Right,
I see. You mean your chicken. No, don't worry. I was only joking.
After all, who could replace the marvelous Kudo?
Ah, careful. We're talking about a
broken arm here. Oh, sorry. What a whiny guy.
I know. He has a problem. You don't like him now. Yeah, see, you don't
like him now. He's that Bill Pullman thing.
Like, I end up hating him. See, that's the end of the movie. So roll
Critter cinema psyops then. 10 years.
10 years. I'm only here for the fighting. And when McGuires
dies, monster dead, movie over. And then we have to. Whoa. God,
we have to sit through that forever. It's. It's so much of the film,
of them just finally trying to get rid of Godzilla. And it looks like it
works, and they get rid of them. This is a one off movie. Every single
one of these are one off movies. I don't think the black hole thing should
have worked. I think Godzilla's breath should have just like, somehow overridden it and filled
it up with all the energy that it needed. But it should have made him,
like, really sleepy, and he should have just went back to the ocean and just
chilled ye. Yeah. I mean, they kind of allude
that it didn't work or that Godzilla will return. But this
is definitely the most confused era of Godzilla
where they just said, hey, how? Let's just fuck continuity
and just do whatever you want. And to some degree that's cool. And then
to another one, it's like, well, you're just kind of setting these things up and
then not delivering on them. Well, I kind of didn't talk about this on
the episode I did with Darren for Godzilla 2000, which is the whole reason Godzilla
2000 got made. Made is. Godzilla 1998 starring Matthew Broderick
sucked so bad and it pissed off Toho so much.
They hated everything they did with it so much that they immediately had
to put something out as quickly as possible to get rid of the tarnish on
Godzilla before it completely ruined him in people's memories. Like, I think that's kind
of why they started this millennium series. And they were always feverishly fighting
against that tune ahead as they ended up calling him.
Right. Like the Zilla. They're always fighting against the
negative aspects of Zilla and what it's doing to the Godzilla product in this
Millennium Series from there on out. That had repercussions that echoed through the
entirety of the Millennium Series of Godzilla. They didn't recover from that for
15 fucking years. Yeah. And there's not much more I can say beyond that,
because I don't want to spoil anything for your future episodes. But like,
we already talked about, you're correct. Yeah. They fucking reboot every. They tried Godzilla
2000 just to get rid of the taint. People had some complaints about it,
or there were some things that people didn't like, or maybe it didn't go quite
the way that they wanted. Or for whatever reason, they're like, you know what?
Yeah, we set up a franchise to start again with Godzilla 2000,
but we're going to stop that. We're just going to do this one. So they
do Godzilla vs Megaguirus in 2000, like the following year, and it's
literally like, okay, well, we're rebooting again. We're starting from the one that we know
works. Everybody loves 1954 Godzilla. No one's questioning 1950.
1954 Godzilla. Let's go ahead and show people what we can do for a movie,
and we'll reboot this one. They throw a bunch of money at it. They throw
a bunch of plot that they're trying to do with it, and it just becomes
confused and not focused. And just the film that we got there's
just a giant mess. And I think my film next week, when we get into
it, it's another one of those scrambles, because this didn't do what they were hoping
that it would do. Or for whatever reason, they do another reboot where it's just
1954 Godzilla and that movie, and that becomes a thing. The Millennium Series should
have been called Reboot Quill, because that's basically what.
Yeah. And they all kind of go, well, the original
happened, and let's just make something new. Yeah. I think they were trying to
let a bunch of hot filmmakers try something new.
They throw a bunch of different stuff at all of these movies in the millenniums.
And all I had to say to you, everyone that's going to be going through
this with us is, yeah, it's going to be frustrating. Yeah, there's going to be
some stuff that's really awful in some of this. Yeah, it's going to have some
really terrible CG as well. But their Fights are gonna look gorgeous.
Everything's gonna be incredible. And that's literally all that
matters when it comes to this series. Because thing happened, it exists.
Kaiju battle happen. Everything great.
I don't need anything else. Just give me the Kaiju battles. Yeah. And I'd say
everything just, it's. It gets better from here as far as like the,
the monster fights go. Yeah, I don't disagree with you. They keep ramping up
the monster fights because that's the thing is they throw in the stuff that they
know works and that's the monster battle. So they throw a shit ton of money
at it. They do a shit ton of crazy stuff with it, but they keep
wrapping it around all of these like really drawn out human interest stories that are
really fucking boring. And then they just keep trying to reboot and doing something different
and new. So don't try and get a toehold in any of these movies.
Just sit back, relax, press the I believe button and go for it with
the Millennium Series. Because you're just going to get frustrated if you don't like.
We were trying to explain this film word. All right, you said
you did have a story time, so why don't we go ahead and take the
br break. Now we're gonna play on the pirate radio edit again a song released
from 2000. Just because I want to do something more fun. It's not going to
be pop songs. So gonna pick the vandals with the song Sorry mom and dad
on the pirate radio edit. And when we get back, we'll have dance story time.
I am trying to tell you we have no idea of knowing if any
of this technology we are mimicking from other dimensions even works beyond
just exploding and killing our testers. If we can't tell if it is working properly
or not, we don't know if the paradoxes will persist until the event horizon is
crossed. I really don't want to be rude, but event horizons are
for black holes. I think you wanted the term inflection. Point disturbing 47
minutes later. I don't want to rush you, but there are some important decisions we
need you to make. That's what is expected of you when you are the
main person in the charge of a vast conglomerate with ties to multiple
planetary intergalactic and interdimensional contracts.
If we don't deliver on the promises to manufacture and we can't make
our products work as we state they will. There is a term for that.
I really like it when they flip on its head like with this song where
it's like, hey, you think your parents were really you up? But look what you've
done. Look what you've done to your life. Look at everything. Just the, sorry,
mom and dad thing. It's just. It's the. And playing it for a father going
into Father's Day weekend is just perfect. So maybe that'll have something to do with
your story time.
Story time.
Story time. Even when he's not on the show, I play it live in full
continuity for him. Aw, it's so sweet.
Yeah. So, okay, my story time. Picture this.
I'm working at a comic book convention, and they have an after
party. So my wife and I are hanging out with Steve from
Ghost Hunters. And we're at the after bar party.
It's at a gay bar in Madison, Wisconsin. And we get
there, it's my first drag show ever when I walk in. Awesome, right?
Yeah. And rumor. Rumor had it that Joey Fatone
was going to show up. Oh, wow. So we get talking with some girls,
some younger girls at the bar, and they were all excited, Joey Fatone's
going to show up. We can't wait for Joey Fatone. And time passes.
Steve's off doing whatever. My wife's out dancing because that's
what she likes to do. And I'm just kind of sitting at the bar next
to these girls. In walks Joey Fatone.
They are too busy and preoccupied to notice
him. And he's walking past, and I'm like, I have to take this opportunity
right now. So because of the good graspers, right? I.
Good grasp Joey Fatone. I do a grandpa grab on his
arm, and then I just say, joe. And he looks at me
and his little entourage is, like, pissed. And he's pissed
off. And I instantly let go. I got his attention. And then
I said, these girls over here, they've been waiting for you. They're very excited.
Excited to meet you. If you could just, you know, take a moment to say
hi to them, they'd really appreciate it. And he goes, what girls? But they were
right there still. It was like they were still there. And I was like,
them right here. Oh, I get it. Yeah. What girls?
Right? Yeah, because he just saw me. But yeah, I totally.
Grandpa grabbed Joey Fatone in a gay bar. And not
where I thought that story was going. When you said, what girls? I thought they
were going to be. Because you were there for your first drag show, I thought
it was going to be your drag realization that, oh, no, you. You got fooled.
Oh, no, no, not at all. Those girls were still There they
got to meet them. It was fun. That's really sweet. Then I'm glad that you
did that. That was a really nice thing for you to do. Making sure that
they actually got to see them, even though they were distracted. Yeah, even though I
put my own self in danger. But it was just. I don't know, I think
it was like, hey, you know what? I guess it was a dad reaction kind
of. Yeah, that's a very dad thing to do, because you knew what it would
do to really brighten the day for those girls, that they would really,
really appreciate it and that they were super stoked about it. So you made sure
that it happened. Yeah, that makes sense. That's a really, really weird
thing to have happen, though. Is there a particular reason why Joey Fatone was supposed
to show up at this drag show? He was at the convention for some
reason. Who knows? I don't know what he has to do with comic books or
just that kind of nerd culture in general. I don't know.
I think they could just get a famous person there. And then he just went
to the after party. Yeah, yeah, that probably signatures.
They. They usually do that for any kind of comic book convention. Anybody. They can
get in for signatures because that's really. And they already have the infrastructure set
up for those conventions for that stuff. I don't know if that was the one
that Stan Lee was at, that my son just took a picture of him,
like, through a crack and a curtain and was just totally happy with it.
Like, I got Stanley's picture and I was like, way to go, son. You didn't
have to pay, like, 50 bucks for it. Yeah, that's the problem with celebrity
worship culture stuff that they have. I mean, I don't. I try not to spend
a whole hell of a lot if I can avoid it. And I try to
get all the signatures that I can through, like, charities auctions and stuff.
Like, our boy Gary from Cinema Beef does a lot of those fleas and flicks
charities. Almost all my signed stuff or any of my memorabilia stuff that's like,
you know, spendy. I at least try to do that because at least that way
it goes through that auction, you know. And I mean, like, you know, the stars
are also contributing, and they get a little bit of a tax break from doing
this stuff. But, yeah, I got. I got a little. I got a couple through
them. Yeah, I'm not one of those auctions. I just, like, I can't justify,
like, I understand, like, people that absolutely love Star wars, but like 5,
$600 for Mark Hamill's signature or 400 bucks or
1. Whatever it is, what Shatner charges, like hundreds and hundreds of dollars for
a meet and greet and a possible photo, you know, and then they treat people
like shit. It's just like, nah, no thanks, man. You know, I don't want to
meet. The celebrities in the early 90s. I'm sorry, go ahead. Early 90s.
I remember going to, like a pretty big convention
and you could just walk up to people and get their signature. And it was.
That's all it was. It was just very down to earth. And then I went
to one. Probably next one I went to is like in maybe 2006,
and I saw Ray park at a table and I was like, oh, I'm just
going to walk up and get his signature because he was Darth Maul and he
ignored me. And I was like, what the hell's going on? And then I went
to, like, somebody else's table, like maybe Lou Fegno or whatever, and I got the
same treatment. I was like, I don't understand what's happening here. And then it dawned
on me, like, I have to pay just to even say hi to these people.
And that seems wrong. Yeah, yeah, it's an issue. But also
it's a great way for an actor that may
not be getting roles anymore that you absolutely love, like, you know, to get them
some money in their pocket to go up and give them some money, too.
So it really just kind of depends how you view it and what you feel
your money's worth. But really, I, I just,
I, you know, some of the stories I've heard, like, I always wanted to meet
John Cusack. I always had a big, you know, I was a big fan of
his. I loved a lot of his movies when I was a kid growing up,
you know, better off dead, all that kind of stuff kind of grew up with
him, you know, as he went in and did all those other movies. And then,
you know, he's a. He's not very kind to his fans when they meet him.
Like, some people have some really, really horrible stories because he's got some issues now.
Apparently he's got some mental health issues and he's dumping it on people that are
coming to see him. Apparently it does happen where, like, there's people that, that have,
you know, I mean, I understand everybody's a human being. Everybody has a bad day.
But if you're going to charge me 40 bucks and treat me like shit,
at least make me call you mistress. At the same time. And maybe I don't
want that. All right, well, you know, I hear.
Just real quick, though. I hear, like, Tom Savini,
you know, gets irritated with fans, but having worked like a table at
a convention, I get it. So by the end of the day, you're kind of
tired and you just don't want to talk to people. Oh, yeah, I told.
Like I said, I understand people are like that. It's totally a thing. But,
you know, there has to be some kind of a balance. But anyway, that was
the story time. That's really kind of interesting that you got to meet Joey
Fatone at a drag show after a comic book convention and
basically made it to where two girls got to meet him and didn't miss him
from being so excited. They're chatting with each other. Really cool.
All right, we're gonna go ahead and play the show Housekeeping. Now to close out
the show. And immediately following that, on the pirate radio edit, we will play from
the year 2000, the Reverend Horton Heat with the song Sue Jack
Daniels. And when we come back, we will close out this show.
If you've decided we can't make our products work
as we state they will, there is a term for that. Marketing.
Marketing is the activity or business of promoting and selling products
or services. Yes. Now, when one market something is capable
of doing specific goals and tasks, and the products are not capable
of doing the things one says they will. What is the term for that?
False. Very good. Yes. What you are advertising
is false. False advertising. Advertising. That's bad.
I think you get now why this particular regulatory commission
and these fine officers are here. Yes. I think we found a way to make
this whole true or false thing at once and verify if these machines can
work or not. Interesting. We're talking about perception, right? We are
talking about fraud, false advertising, and market manipulation.
Perception. I like that. Ethically speaking, yes. The company
would appear to be committing multiple, multiple crimes brazenly out in the open. And inexplicably,
no one will stop that from happening and just not perceive it
as happening. Perception of false advertising without cognition and accusation is
the same thing as a paradox. Sounds good. Got more money to harvest. Now we
want to attempt to prove our paradox sustaining tech by being a
fraudulent and criminal organization that harvest money and commits fraud,
claiming to manufacture products that eliminate humanity
and most likely don't work permanently and pretend
to be a manufacturer of products that are geared toward maintaining the health and
safety of humanity with luxury, environmentally friendly convenience
options and amazing innovations. I suppose that
paradox could exist and be proven for us to know what
we are doing. Not sure how to prove it works. Follow the logic here.
We turn on the machines and they are Schrodinger's cat at this point.
If the League of Evil Courts can't be bothered to do verification
and acceptance testing, why should we be concerned
with the results of their usage of our equipment?
None of it works. Everything just explodes or catches
fire as far as we can tell. Well, I just heard a horrible
story while we're playing music about the Reverend Horton Heat that's going to make me
really, really think twice about about playing his music in the future. But still a
fan. I'm just gonna listen to the music and separate
it from the person from now on. That's how I'm gonna have to do it.
You can do that? Yeah, As a matter of fact, you can do that really,
really well while you enjoy. On the pirate radio edit, Also released in
2000, the song Judith from a Perfect Circle. Separate the work from that artist while
you kick the fuck out of this weekend. Make it your bitch. Everything just explodes
or catches fire as far as we can tell. And yet everything is perceived to
be working. And we seem to keep building and selling these things. The thing that
is in our way is this talk of regulations and oversight.
Why should we have to prove our stuff works and that it won't just explode?
Every dimension and timeline will either have every witness eliminated or
nothing at all will happen except for the explosions. Every regulation exists or
it does not. Every government guideline is followed or it's not. Things are not
so black and white and definite with paradoxes. Why don't we
make the biggest gray area of all time and just see how it turns out?
Worst case scenario is all this works and none
of us ever exist anyway. So why not enjoy what we can,
while we can, while we exist? The real
paradox test is to prove that we can do and say both things at the
same time. And if that will sustain. I do not think that the center will
hold. We only need to sustain the concept of success and the perception of
effectiveness. Anything else is woke anyway. I can't believe this is the sketch I was
written for. This is just off fourth wall. I don't think there is any way
to spin fraud. What is the point of taking and taking and storing
up and hoarding all this wealth if none of it matters and all the plot
points are made up nonsense to the sc. It.
Working? Yeah, can you hear me? Yeah. Okay, there's a. Yeah,
there's a little Bit of a delay. And if you shut off your video,
that'll improve your audio quality too. No problem. You don't need to see me
anyway. Well, I'm used to not seeing Matt because we just basically,
we streamline this as best we can, so it's totally fine.
Plus, there's a delay on their video that, like, I'm. I'm hearing you before I
see you, so. Like, that. That's gonna mess me up. So it's better.
Yeah. Is this better now? Yeah, yeah. You hear me okay? Everything's still good?
Oh, yeah. All right, perfect. Recording in progress. Thanks.
I'm so sorry about the delay, man. It has been a night for me,
I'll tell you what. Oh, I bet it
sounds like a lot. Yeah, well, a lot happened all at once. So what I'm
doing right now is just get playback stuff set up, because I didn't have that
chance. Chance to get that done. But let me just do that real quick for
yours. And then when we take a break, I can do mine because you're gonna
go up first. I'm not too nervous, I hope.
Are you kidding me? Like, I don't know. I've done this a billion times,
but. Right. You've done it on your show a bunch, but. Which is not for
you. Right. Like, I'm more concerned about me being the thing that's making
you nervous more than anything.
You hear that? Okay. Yeah. All right, perfect. So let me drop the volume
a little bit on the songs so I don't blow your eardrums out with that.
Yeah. All right. We are recording on all fronts. And you're coming
through just fine on my side as well. So I think we're ready to roll,
if you are. Any other questions or anything before we get going? No, I'm going
to record on my end, too. Okay. Yeah, that's. But I start. I started that,
so we're good. Okay. Well, yeah, a backup is a backup. It's fine.
I used to have Matt do that to where. Where I would have a backup
on his side. A backup on my side. But it all records of the Cloud
and. All right, I just took a hit, so let's get going. What do you
say? All right. I got a beer going, so. All right,
so three, two, one. We have a name, man.
Excuse me. That's a Monkey Butts. You can cut that.
You're doing great. I would have clipped all of this.
Oh, man. When I was making clips for the next movie. Movie, I was like,
holy. What is going on? Yeah,
sorry. I Tried to communicate a little bit better that I only wanted you to
do one of them. And I was actually going to do the notes for Magiris.
So I'm glad that I delayed doing the notes for McGuires, because the day I
was gonna do them, you had them already done. And that's when we found out
that you had started on gmk. And I was like. I was tempted. I was
like, man, I should just let him finish it. He's almost like, you know,
almost halfway done. And then I was like, godzilla, no, I gotta. I gotta follow
my sword for gmk. I can't make him do both of these. That's just ridiculous.
Oh, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have been like, I. I don't know if
I just read it wrong or what. I think I was just a little excited.
And I don't know, I've been, like, just fun busy lately, which has been
good. Yeah. Well, I totally get it. I'm. I'm again, I am super grateful
that you were willing to do that. And I. I just was, like, taken aback
by it a little bit. Like, I was like, well, I asked you to come
onto my show and do the notes. We basically asked you to do the bulk
of the work for my show for two episodes. And you, like, were like,
yeah, I can do that. You didn't even, like, question, like, why, when you thought
that that was the case. And that's just awesome. Anyway, clip's over. Let's go back
in. In three, two, one. Well. Well, I'll take this.
No, maybe not. We'll see. That will definitely get outta take, and then this will
get outta. Now I lost my train of thought, so why don't we just move
on? Let's do that. That. No, no, I'm kidding.
That. That was hard to say. I like the way it came out.
I'm nice to you, so I'm having a harder time keeping you on track.
I'm trying to remember where we were in this. I'm on
clip 12, if that helps. Okay. Okay. So I mentioned the couple that
gets bumped off. Okay. Anyways. All right. I found my spot. Cool. An insect
must have been in the way, I guess. And it mutated. Oh, they're doing the
fly. I just figured it out. That's what it is. They're doing the fly this
time. They just changed it a little bit. In a very special episode,
Godzilla vs. Magurus, he was fighting. Or Mega
Gearus, however you pronounce it. Yeah. You say Megagirus and I
say Magirus. Yeah, guy sounds like me at the beginning of our podcast.
Hey, kid. Not just the mini sgs, but it also
has. I think it's a mega newlon Shibuya.
You heard him pronounce it. Yes, sir. In fact, it's nothing like Wisconsin's show business.
Oh, no, you. You. I think you guys might have covered back
when you're still doing some Psyop news. I think he might have covered Shabusiness.
It was the. It's the. It's the woman who kept attacking her lawyers
and she was, like, up on. On meth and
beheaded her boyfriend and then him, and then,
like, his mom ended up finding the head in a bucket. Yeah, we did
cover that on Psyop News. Man, that. That takes me way back. That's. That's been
a while. That's fucked up. Yeah. And you know what? She's still up to?
The same business attacking lawyers just
happened in the news recently. It's the same lady. Yeah. She keeps attacking lawyers.
I saw that. I didn't realize that that was the same lady from that.
That's fucking crazy. Anyway, we gotta get back to the notes,
man. I just. I just love that name. Shabusiness, though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we need
to get back to Shabusiness and do the notes. We sure do. 3,
2, 1. Yeah, that's the end of the movie. Oh, so we
roll credits. Yeah. I need you to say, oh, I'm not gonna play the Reverend
Horton Heat, because you should know that one too. Yeah, well, he's a Trump dumpster,
so fuck him. Oh, he is. Yeah. Yeah. I had a friend who's like,
super into him, and then, like, like, he worshiped the guy. And he was apparently,
like, got super trumpy with basically a super fan online.
And this is back in, like, I don't know, like, during COVID and he was
just like, I'm done. It crushed that dude's world. Oh, I didn't know about that.
He got a little weird during COVID Yeah. All right, so let's come back in
3, 2. The plot points are made up.
Nonsense to the sketch. I fail to see the more ramifications of continuing
fraud in the context of the manufacturing of products that would manipulate space,
time and eliminate humanity from ever existing. How is it a bad thing
if this shit doesn't work? If humanity never existed in
the first place, how are we defrauding anyone? If this is all going
away, why not have the best of everything for ourselves
and let everyone else just suffer? Because it won't have happened
at the first first place. That is so much worse. You have to see how
that is so much worse. Right. Gray areas. Perception. I would
like to remind you that if these transmissions resemble your experiences of reality
in any way, it is because your reality has become so thoroughly broken down by
the connection of the Mobius loop of annihilation that satire and irony has been eliminated
from reality for you. These transmissions should not in any way resemble anyone,
living or dead, that you may know. Get it? Got it. Good.
From a perfect circle, separate the work from that artist. While you kick the out
of this weekend. Make it your bitch. All right. And then we're out. So I
just have to stop my recording? Yeah, recording stopped.
Creators and Guests

