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I want to go home.

Did you get tired of painting?

I'm bored.

Where did you get that horrible necklace?

Don't you touch it.

You're horrible.

You're a pig.

You let him do dirty things to you.

You're both filthy dogs.

Everything is ready, my darling.

Do not be afraid.

This sandwich tastes as dry as hell.

Hello and welcome to Hello This Is The Doomed Show.

I am Richard.

Folks, I am here, demonically charged and joined by Mark, who is also a demon.

Mark, hello.

Hello, Richard, how are you?

Demon Witch Child, have ever those three words been spoken together?

Have those three words ever been spoken separately?

I don't know.

I'm doing good.

I'm willing to say I'm doing good on this recording.

How are you?

I'm good.

I was going to say, that's what my grandmother used to lovingly call me, is Demon Witch Child.

Oh, yes.

My grandma was like, Oh, your clothes are too baggy.

I was like, I know it's the style, Grandma.

I want to go on a skateboard and break my ankles.

That never happened, but I did skateboard pathetically.

Spoiler alert, not any kind of spoiler.

We're talking about Demon Witch Child from 1975, aka the possessed, aka la endemoniada, which is translating according to Google to the demoniac.

And this was written and directed by Amando de Ossorio, which I love that this was 1975 because it's the same year as a few other exorcist things, but exorcism with Paul Nashie directed by Juan Bosch.

That is also the same year as this.

So quite, quite wonderful year for ripping off William Friedkin and William Peter Blatty.

Oh, Richard, I don't.

Okay, I know it's your show, but I'm pretty sure this was first and they, the exorcist copied this.

Yes, yes.

I think it's the other way around.

I think they saw this and they thought, well, we can make a couple of bucks.

We'll just do our American version of it.

Yeah, they were ripping off Abbey.

They're ripping off Abbey.

Oh, Abbey.

Yes.

See now, that's a movie that should be unbanned from everything that.

Oh, yeah.

Everyone has the same copy of Abbey.

This is old like VHS rip or like underground, you know, like they filmed it in their frickin basement.

They projected it in their basement and then videotaped the wall or something like, oh, poor Abbey, justice for Abbey.

That's what we want.

I have found a beautiful copy of the VHS tape, the All Seasons VHS, the plot synopsis on the back of said VHS tape.

In a small town in Ireland, a young girl becomes the victim of demonic possession.

After being informed by the priest of a church robbery and disappearances of newborn babies, police detective Barnes arrests an old lady who is suspected of being a witch.

After rigid interrogation, the woman kills herself by jumping out of a window.

In revenge, the old woman's spirit takes possession of nine-year-old Susan, daughter of Barnes.

Sorry.

Daughter of Barnes, come forward.

Who in turn takes revenge on her governess and on those who punished her in her childhood.

Sort of, Susan goes to the tomb of the old lady where the forces of good and evil fight to the death for...

the possessed.

The possessed, dash, a story of demonic terror and witchcraft.

Y'all.

Ask a tort forever.

I don't know about that tomb part at the end, but sure.

Taglines I found for this movie are, If you were terrified by the exorcist, horrified by Beyond the Door, now see the greatest shocker of them all.

And good and evil battle for possession of the innocent.

And only exorcism could liberate her of diabolical possession.

And finally, a terrifying battle between innocence and evil.

So yes, I could not find a trailer for this.

God bless America and Spain.

There was no there was a trailer like three minutes, but it was all just dialogue and clips.

No voiceover guy.

Nope.

You know, no, like hyperbole or anything.

I was really sad this didn't get more heavily marketed, but I think they would have gotten sued.

You know, like poor Abby did.

So they didn't they didn't go too crazy.

Although this got re-released at least twice for different territories.

So folks, yeah, we're going to spoil this.

This is absolutely worth seeking out.

There's an old DVD that's kicking around from Code Red, I believe.

And I think there's a Spanish Blu-ray that might not have the dub on it.

I'm not sure of the...

I didn't really look into that very much.

Hey there, folks.

This is Editor Richard.

Just breaking in here.

We obviously recorded this episode before the Vinegar Syndrome triple feature with Demon Witch Child came out.

So now it's on Blu-ray in the Americas.

Wow.

But you should absolutely watch this.

And much like the other movies that Mark and I have discussed thus far, even if we spoil it, you're going to need to see it.

I don't think this can be spoiled.

No, no, no, no.

Real quick, in the cast, we have Julian Mateos, his father, Juan.

He's going to be our hero of the movie, sort of.

The only movie I recognize him from is Cold Eyes of Fear, which is...

Enzio Castellari, isn't it?

Yeah, I think it's his weakest, his weakest film of his I've seen.

I don't dislike Cold Eyes of Fear, but I think the soundtrack by Ennio Morricone and the performance by Frank Wolfe, because Frank Wolfe is always good, but I don't like that one.

We got Marion Salgado as Susan Barnes, our posessy.

This is a child in quotation marks.

I'm going to guess, as I don't know how old she was when they made this, that she had to have been a teenager who sort of looked 12, but she's playing a nine-year-old.

That's my impression.

Who also did the voice for Linda Blair in the Spanish version of The Exorcist.

Yes, that was like one of the two trivia pieces I could find about this movie was that Marion Salgado did the voice for a good old Linda Blair.

So that's why they wanted to have her in this.

But she's also terrifying.

Like she's a creepy kid.

I would give anything to have her come up behind you right now.

Just give you a peck on the cheek.

Man, she would just slap me and go bullshit.

She was in Who Can Kill a Child like the creepiest fucking kid movie ever.

So we got Fernando Sancho.

He plays the police chief in this movie.

This gentleman has 244 credits, including Voodoo Black Exorcist, which, boy, howdy, I have been wanting to revalue that because that movie was not good.

But I also wasn't in the frame of mind that I am now.

So I have a feeling I'd enjoy that more.

But more importantly, Mark, he was in one of the best Jeffrey episodes ever in the folds of the flesh.

Because getting to talk about that movie with Jeffrey is a very wonderful memory.

I have movies great.

It's a treat.

We have it on Blu-ray.

We have it on Blu-ray.

Right.

And I have no people who are like, I never watched that because I thought it was a porno.

I'm like, oh, no, it is not a porno.

Trust me.

You are in for something.

Lone Fleming plays Anne Crawford.

She is the governess to Miss Susan.

Lone Fleming of the Icy Eyes variety.

She was in Tombs of the Blind Dead, and It Happened Nightmare Inn, AKA Candle for the Devil, which is a good one.

I like it.

We got Angel or Angel De Pozo.

He plays Mr.

Barnes or just Barnes in that plot description.

He's daddy.

He's like some kind of political bigwig senator or representative of something, blah, blah, blah.

He was in Horror Express and Assignment Terror.

I was so excited that he was in Horror Express.

I wrote it twice.

So it's Horror Express, Assignment Terror, and then again, Horror Express.

I don't know what I was doing there.

Kali Hanza plays Gypsy Witch, which that's what the IMDB, that's what her character's name is.

But of course, you know, we call her Romani or something.

Kali Hanza, Jess Franco Regular.

Oh my God.

She's like a living statue, that woman.

I do like her strategically placed beads.

Oh, we're going to.

Yeah, we got a side boob.

Yeah, incredible.

Incredible.

Daniel Martin is William Grant.

He was the one who's in Devil's Kiss.

He was also in Crypt of the Living Dead, aka Hannah, Queen of the Vampires.

Now, William's character is very key to this movie.

He is the journalist boyfriend of Anne.

Anne, thank you.

Who is who his fate is not enviable.

We'll talk about that.

Toda Alaba, she is Mother Gautier.

She is the witch in question, who's going to pass on her beautiful looks to Susan while she's possessed.

Maria Costi is in this as Hester or Esther.

She plays the former girlfriend, excuse me, fiance of Father Juan.

She's Miss Subplot, that is one of the greatest subplots in any Italian, excuse me, in any Spanish horror film.

She's great, but Maria Costi, Dragonfly for Each Corpse, Night of the Sorcerers and Vengeance of the Zombies.

Oh my God.

Two other brief mentions.

There's a doctor in this movie who's played by Fernando Hilbeck, who was the really, really cool zombie in Let Sleeping Corpses Lie.

And one of the nurses is Montserrat Proust, another Jess Franco regular, so blink and you'll miss her.

That's a lot of people.

I was excited.

It's a wonderful cast for a great movie.

It really is.

Amando de Ossorio always packs the movies with the Spanish horror legends.

I actually, like, love this gentleman's.

Yeah, I only have one bone to pick with him, and that's over the totally pointless rape scene in Tombs of the Blind Dead.

I bring this up all the time.

So fine.

Like, she's totally like, let's get a sandwich.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's very weird.

The American version cuts out the rape scene, and you find out very quickly that nothing changes with or without it.

It's so dumb.

Yeah, it's very strange.

Oh, well.

But hey, that movie is fundamental for my childhood.

I wonder who I'd be if I hadn't seen Tombs of the Blind Dead on Elvira's movie Macabre back in the day, because that is such a joyful that ending scared me so bad.

Oh, my God.

It's so good.

But yeah, Armando de Ossorio.

I mean, it just it's incredible.

The stuff that he put out, because you always think you've seen everything he's done.

And it's like, nope, there's one more.

I love his stuff.

Yeah.

Or you've seen it and you forgot that he did.

Well, I guess later in life, he painted the Templar Knights like that's how.

Yeah, which is pretty cool.

I would love to have one of those.

That's awesome.

My other bone to pick with him, I guess I have two bones, is the clips.

He always used clips from the first Tomb of the Blind Dead movie in all of the other blind dead movies that always irked me.

I was like, Oh, come on.

Well, they can't see it, so they don't know.

We never got paid.

I can't even afford food.

So we're going to go through this plot.

And folks, we, Mark and I, I think struggled to not do this entire movie scene by scene.

This movie slows down for like a minute or two, but it's always coupled with some batshit crazy shit.

So we're going to try to summarize this pretty good.

Mark, talk about the weirdly broken opening of this movie that apparently is not a mistake in the download.

So we have our witch entering a church and she goes about kind of like desecrating it.

She like, you know, throws the little, you know, candles around and everything and then she eventually ends up with a chalice.

And I love that she puts the little prayer candle, like at the foot of the Virgin Mary who's standing on a devil, a demon, which oddly the head I thought looked a lot like me, but that's, I don't know about that.

But then it repeats all over again with credits this time on it.

Same scene.

So it's like, am I having a stroke?

Is it deja vu or is it the demon?

We don't know.

The devil at play.

Oh, man.

Satan wants you to read every name of the cast and crew.

It's pretty cool.

Now, the witch I would like to also point out looks like Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror.

There's a lie.

I'm not sure why Satan.

Yeah, she's like balding.

I don't understand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Hey, yeah, I love this.

I wrote that it's sacrilegious.

This whole scene is pretty cool.

She leaves some kind of a what looks like a mutant chicken foot to like to make a further blasphemy.

It's very, it's very amazing.

It's like a flash fried chicken leg foot.

So immediately we go from this to to this doctor character talking to our pal Father Juan.

They're talking about this, the sacrilege.

Apparently there's been a kidnapped child, a baby, a baby.

And of course the cop blames women.

He literally is like, Oh, it's some crazy woman stolen.

A woman who can't have a child told his baby.

Then he blames the witches or a witch in particular, who's a mama go to air and they are going to roll up on her trying to just do some business.

You know, she's reading some cards for some, some paying customers and they roll up and take her away and they get cursed by Kali Hansa as the young witch.

She's slinging curses at him.

SPEAKER_1: The police commissioner, he'll pay for this.

SPEAKER_1: I swear it.

SPEAKER_1: I'll put a curse on all of them, a curse on all of them.

And we, we go to the police station where they bring in the mother of the missing child to plead with this cold-hearted weach.

And it does not work.

And they finally convince her that the witch, that they're going to make her talk with sodium pentothal, which she then proceeds to peace out of life by, you know, you'll never take me alive.

You bastards jumping out the window to her death.

It's really ask a tour.