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This sandwich tastes as dry as hell.

Hello, and welcome to Hello This Is The Doomed Show.

I am Richard.

Folks, my designated murderer is here, as I am the designated victim.

Darren, hello.

Hey, how's it going, man?

It's been a while, yeah, but I'll be honest with you, I've been here a couple of times.

It's been a while, yeah, but I always look forward to these.

Of course.

You know, the months go by and the months go by and I think, yeah, one's coming up, but when you set up a coup in this film as well, I'm all in, you know, one of my favorites.

I was like, pick something classy, dude, and you're like, gotcha, gotcha.

As hinted, this is the designated victim from 1971, aka la vitima designata.

What is the fricking, oh yes, the alternate title of this, which I love is Slam Out.

Slam it.

What in the world is a slam out?

I have no idea.

What does that actually mean?

I don't know.

But yes, this movie is a beautiful Giallo.

This episode, of course, is sponsored by a little book called Giallo Meltdown 2, available at amazon.com.

Written by yours truly.

If you want to see what I said about this film, you'll have to get its companion piece, Giallo Meltdown, colon, a movie on diary.

Which is funny.

I noticed in Giallo Meltdown 1, I barely ever said how I felt about a movie.

I was still thinking that nobody would see these like subconsciously.

So I would just talk about the plots a lot.

I was like a reporter on the scene, reporting what was happening.

So I'll be like, oh yeah, what did I think of that movie?

I'll grab Giallo Meltdown 1.

I'm like, yes, that's the plot.

Yes, that's a funny thing that happened in the movie.

Okay.

I have no idea how I felt about it.

So with Giallo Meltdown 2, I tried to add my opinions as well, partly for the reader, but also for this guy who can't remember what he's seen later.

It's progression.

That's right.

I'm growing.

But yeah, folks, check those books out.

I greatly appreciate it.

But that's enough from the sponsor.

Let's get back to the movie at hand.

Big spoiler warning because this is a Giallo and this has its twisty turns and we don't want it to spoiled.

Though, if you've seen a certain movie or read a certain book, you would know about what was coming here.

Although, there's a little twist to this, I think.

Here is a trailer for Slam Out.

See, I'm one of those who likes to try everything for pleasure, for enjoyment.

Perhaps the only pleasure left is the doubtful want of murdering someone.

I will kill your wife, and you my brother.

I don't know your wife, you don't know my brother.

It will be the perfect crime.

What's Germany?

You haven't the courage to do what you can't do.

What did this to you?

My brother's death.

I did it because you were afraid.

You're out of your mind.

You're hiding something, aren't you?

Because I've done what you only dreamed of doing.

I'm the prolongation of your true self, your will-putting right to do.

Let me go!

But you shouldn't forget you're part of the bargain.

Think carefully, you've only one alternative, life imprisonment or life friendship atonement.

I don't know about you, Darren, but man, that trailer really slams me out, man.

I don't like saying something like from a tennis match or whatever.

It's weird.

Andre Agassi has slammed out.

Yeah.

I just aged myself for anyone who follows tennis that I actually mention like Andre Agassi.

I'm literally older than you anyway, so don't worry.

Oh, no.

You're young at heart.

I am at heart, yeah.

I'm going to read the plot synopsis from the beautiful IMDB, seeking an escape from his unhappy marriage.

A disillusioned advertising executive is lured by a sociopathic count into a bizarre plot to kill each other's relatives.

This is directed by Maurizio Lucidi.

He is one of the Italian film directors who was kicked off of Nosferatu in Venice, the one with Klaus Kinski.

Apparently, there were several directors fired from that movie.

Right.

Well, that kind of makes sense.

Yeah.

It's I was surprised by that one.

I was I've been putting it off because I had like a shitty download for years and just on a chance.

I was like, you know what?

Just get that Blu-ray and see what it's like.

And I ended up really liking it.

I've never seen it.

It's always been on my radar.

But I think if you set if you set your expectations a little low, I think you'll enjoy it.

It's that late period post dubbing Italian horror.

So some characters are dubbed.

Some characters are live.

But I'm telling you, like in this movie, the city of Venice is the best character.

So yeah, yeah, I was gonna say, I mean, I need to see it anyway, because at some point, I think we're gonna be planning on doing a whole like Venice in films and just covering all those, you know, at one point.

So oh, man, that's like, that's like, don't look now.

You saw her die.

You got some classics in there.

That's like bloodstained shadow too.

Yeah, absolutely.

And the embalmer, I guess you can't call that a classic, but I think that's set in Venice.

Which one?

The embalmer.

Oh, shit, yes.

Yeah, I haven't thought about that in years.

That's a good one.

I mean, well, it's a fun one.

It's a bad one, but yeah, it's a fun one.

I strike my good from the record, but yeah, like watching a great genre film shot in Venice is like ordering two gourmet meals at once.

Like it's just the senses.

You know, your senses are just awash.

Absolutely.

Oh man.

The other thing that, because I've never seen any other films by Maurizio Lucidi that I know of, but he was an editor on Blood and Roses, 1960, which is that weird kind of trippy French, Italian co-production about Carmilla, the lady vampire story.

That's, I haven't seen that in years.

But yeah, he did that traditional Italian filmmaker trek through genre.

So he started with Peplum, did westerns, war movies, comedies and crime.

This was his only thriller, like like Giallo, that he did.

And but he didn't do horror.

I think he should have done a horror movie.

And I really wish he'd done a post-apocalyptic movie.

So that would have been the entire, the entire arc of every Italian horror director.

I was looking at his filmography as well.

So he's done, he's done one called Motel of Fear, which kind of struck my interest.

I don't know what it is, but.

Motel of Fear.

Seventy-three as well.

So it was right in the head of the Giallo kind of, I know it's not a Giallo, but.

Yeah, but that title.

You know, yeah.

It's got the title.

I'm curious.

I'm gonna look that up later.

And his crime film, I think, was the Sicilian Cross.

I've definitely heard of that in one of my books.

Should I watch both of those?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're the two that like stuck out to me.

So this had three writers, apparently.

So first up is Auguste Augusto Camminato.

Oh, man.

Butchering this poor guy's name.

Augusto Camminito.

There we go.

He wrote something called The Cat, which is a comedy giallo from the 70s, needs a Blu-ray.

Yeah.

If you can find The Cat, it's very funny.

Very, very funny movie.

He was one of the writers on Vampire Venice.

OK, Cat, stop it.

The one thing I need the cat to not do right now is slam this drawer or this cabinet into the microphone stand.

So it's funny as soon as you say cat as well as she knew.

Come here, dude.

You're literally killing me.

Just come up here.

Oh, my God.

Anyway, yes.

And he was one of the writers on Vampire in Venice.

Next up is Fulvio Giccapalli.

The only one I recognized from his career was that Franco Nero movie, the thriller, not so much a giallo, more of a crime thriller, political intrigue, maybe how to kill a judge.

Oh, that's the one I've always wanted to see.

I'm trying to remember if I've seen it.

I'm mixing it up with who killed the prosecutor and why.

Right.

Yeah.

This one is more of a police task, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because when Blue Underground put it out, I snatched it up really fast.

And then I probably watched it.

And now it's just gone because, you know, that that DVD probably came out like fricking like 18 years ago or some shit.

So, yeah, I know.

Radiance has just put it out on the room.

I think it's in one of their sales coming up.

So, man, Radiance.

Holy shit, dude.

Yeah.

What a label.

Love them.

Of course, last but not least is Aldo Lado, our pal who gave us so many good things.

Short Night of Glass Dolls.

Oh, classic.

Which I just finally upgraded.

I finally got The Twilight Time.

I think somebody else put it out too.

Or is it just Twilight Time did it?

There's an 88 films in the UK.

That's why Saliloy Dreams have announced it for February next year.

That is probably.

Yeah, 88 films are going to upgrade as well to a 4K.

So that is probably why you got it on sale.

Yeah, I got The Twilight Time for a nice price.

It's nice to have all of them, though, when they come out.

That's the sign of that film.

Who Saw Her Die, one of the very first non-Argento, non-Fulci, Giallo I saw.

Yeah, just just for these three films alone.

Man, God mentioned the Christmas movie as well.

Oh, yeah, his is full of holiday cheer.

Yeah.

Last stop on the night train, aka night train murders, which, you know, that's better than Last Taste on the Left.

I mean, it's definitely prettier to look at.

Oh, my God.

Man, some of the stuff that goes down on that train, man.

I have to tell the story.

And if you ask Lietta right now, what is the worst film in terms of like, intense scenes and just making her filled with rage, she will say Night Train Murders.

And that was like almost 20 years ago.

She never forgot it.

She actually stormed out of the room.

She was so pissed.

Oh, God.

And I was like, sorry, babe.

I don't.

I think it's a good movie, but much like Last House on the Left and other rape revenge, or did you know human beings suck movies?

I got to get out of there.

So that's my annual Christmas watch.

That is Christmas Eve.

What I know.

Don't judge me on no way.

I'm not going to judge you.

That's brilliant.

We watch so much Christmas insanity.

I will never judge.

You know, we're, we're watching, you know, the freaking all the different Silent Night, Deadly Night and the Silent Night remake they did.

So yeah, we watch a lot of depraved fucked up shit.

I kind of balance it out with Black Christmas 74.

So I usually do that.

Oh man.

Those phone calls in Black Christmas.

That's how I learned to talk to women.

Oh God, man.

I'm folks at home.

I'm not going to cut that joke, but I'm not serious.

I was like, what's the worst thing I could say right now?

And I did it.

Anyway, this cast is stacked.

We have some very interesting people in it.

First up is Tomas Milian.

He is Stefano.

Italian genre fans know Tomas Milian very well.

I said this before on other shows, Tomas Milian is not my favorite.

And now I don't think I don't think he's bad at all.

I think he's incredible, but he's not one of my favorite go to people, probably because he plays so many really repugnant villains.

Yeah.

But as far as like standout, should have won awards performances, this one.

For me, he's one of my favorites.

Oh yeah.

Almost human.

I think he's superb in that.

You got Don't Torture a Duckling, which he does kind of play.

He doesn't play a rogue character really in that.

He's just like a reporter.

Yeah.

So he could do it all.

He could do Four of the Apocalypse, Beatrice Houncy.

He's superb in that as well.

Yeah.