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The Podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.

I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.

I saw this when I come.

Be one of us.

I didn't tell you my name.

Hang up.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

I didn't tell you my name.

It is time to keep your appointment.

Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 145.

That's correct.

Good. Thank you.

Thank you. I looked at you then as I slowly ended the numbers.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Well, we should do after 10 years of recording.

You should know this.

Speaking of which, next episode will be our special Funky 10 year anniversary.

My name is Gaff.

My name is Dan.

If you're a first time listeners, we like to talk about horror movies, genre movies, science fiction movies, sometimes actiony, sometimes funny, sometimes sexy.

And always dark.

Generally dark. Yeah, most of them do have a dog themed.

Some patron pics sometimes might not do, but generally, yes.

That is us.

Yes.

You're Dan and welcome everybody.

Welcome to episode 145.

It's a festival Christmas-y sort of time, isn't it?

It's wintery time and not the time is damp in this episode in any way, but it is getting around to that sort of time.

It is.

It's keeping warm.

Santa will be approaching soon and our next episode will be our Christmas episode, which is very exciting, as Gaff mentioned.

That will be our 10 year anniversary.

So just to remind you, if you want to send us any sort of messages or anything to read out or any questions, don't send us pants.

Send those to Gaff.

The Xbox.

The Xbox.

We have a good one.

We should really get a podcast on a horror and he'll pay you a pay box and see what people send us.

Well, I just give people my own address and they send me things like Matthew Godly, one of our patrons who sends me DVDs.

I need to give out my address then.

By the way, Matthew, thank you for the woman in Black, the original.

It was awesome to watch that.

I hadn't seen it for a very long time.

Thank you.

And I actually think, I prefer it to the remake.

Although the remake is very good with Daniel Harry Potter.

I have Radcliffe.

I do a one part time.

It did do a competition.

It gave out some DVDs, don't we?

It did go that well.

Andy won.

I don't know if I remember.

One of our friends.

Which is good because that helped the postage.

You just walked right into him and said, "Hey, there you go."

Yeah, I think it goes well as what we wanted because not many people were participating.

Well, it was alright though.

But yeah, we did do that once upon a time.

Well, this episode, you already know what it is.

If you've clicked on it because you've seen the thumbnail, you've seen the heading, the description.

Well, we are doing a couple of horror anthologies.

Yeah.

So we will be covering the Twilight Zone from the Twilight Zone movie from 1983.

Not the Twilight Zone because that's probably about a hundred-nold episodes of TV shows.

We won't be covering that in this episode.

We're just covering the movie from 1983.

Yeah.

There's a lot to talk about with that film and we'll get into that.

I'm sure a lot of you know the stuff that's went on behind the scenes with that.

Including an actor and some children's deaths.

Probably a little trigger warning really.

There are going to be some bits and bobs discussed that we aren't going to be discussing from injury.

So...

To children, friends, children, stuff.

Yeah.

So just be careful.

Just get forward if you do want.

But we'll let you know again when we're about to do that.

And we're also going to be covering some great directors, by the way, on the Twilight Zone.

So we'll get into that.

And we're also covering a Stephen King novel turned into a horror anthology called Cat's Eye.

Starring a very young Drew Barrymore.

As well as James, what's his face?

What's his name? James Woods.

And a few other people in it as well.

So we're covering a couple of horror anthologies for this episode.

Bill Murray is on his way here in Anuber to help us with World of the Strange.

Is weird just thinking, it's Drew Barrymore.

I was just thinking, "But, Morgan, I drew Michael Barrymore.

And just you know, I had a picture on the paper of Michael Barrymore."

Weird.

That's weird.

My mind is weird.

So probably our listeners know if this is your first time, there are going to be a lot of tangents in this one.

Okay.

A lot of tangents.

There always are.

So just to let you know, that's where we're at.

But before we begin our film reviews, we always like to have a catch up, talk about what we've been watching,

what we've been up to.

My house, it's been a house full of illness.

That's why this episode is a little late.

I was the only person in my household that didn't have something.

My son had a green hand because he is two and got a cut on it, which he then picked and then it got infected.

My daughter had quite a bad cough, which kept her up all night long.

And my wife then developed acute tonsillitis.

So that was a lot of fun.

But they are all better now and hopefully in the run-ups Christmas, we all remain fit and healthy.

Just getting a little fake movie poster, house of a thousand illnesses.

Honestly, that's us.

But yeah, so I'm really looking up to an awful lot really.

But what about you, Gab?

Is there anything you'd be looking at?

Just a normal bit of work, a bit of DJing in there, a bit of work as well as a normal sort of work.

Last night I watched a film, "Heit", which I'm going to recommend if you've not seen it.

It's a crime caper, which I saw in the cinema, but couldn't remember because I didn't appreciate it at the time.

I watched it as a teenager in 1996 or whatever it was.

I wouldn't have enjoyed it in the cinema like that, especially in '96 when I was a teenager.

No, I didn't even know what I was watching.

So let's go to cinema and watch it last night.

Really enjoyed it.

But yeah, the sound design, just the live recording of the actual bullets and stuff on set going off.

And you can really hear it.

Just a really good film and probably up there the best crime, bank-oist, caper-type films going on.

Michael Mann?

Michael Mann, and I really love the fact you got Al Pacino and his team of detectives after World of De Niro.

Oh, whoa!

I still want him to cover "Buster Rimes".

Oh, we've got to catch.

Oh, okay.

We're going to catch.

Oh, yeah.

We're going to catch Robert in the camera.

This is a bit in the movie where he's talking to Hank as a whole.

Hank is sorry, yeah.

And he goes, "She's got a big ass!"

And he really like, "Oh, he's going big!"

And he said that that was not scripted and it actually scared him.

And you could see, because you've got Lizzie's reaction.

That's not an acting rat.

So human being going, "The fuck is he doing?"

The thing about Al Pacino is he sounds like a man who still does a lot of cocaine,

but I believe he's been, he hasn't touched cocaine for a long time.

I don't know.

In hate, I don't know.

Some of his things.

And she's got big ass!

The pun do you think it is?

You're up it!

People always compare him with De Niro because they're Italian American actors

and they're in a lot of gangster films.

And obviously they're only in a couple of movies together really.

And even in Heat, they're only in one scene, if I remember rightly together.

But they're very opposite ends of the scale, because the opportunity is at one end,

shouting and blustering.

And then at the other end, you've got very scary, quiet.

Okay, yeah.

Right?

That's fine.

Okay.

I sound a bit more like, um,

Tends of Washington then.

You do what you do.

Take a pack as I be.

And I do what I do.

And it's real quiet against how much he has.

But that scene when they're in the cafe, that was a...

No rehearsal.

No, that take was them sitting down for the first time ever together

and getting two cameras going, "Let's just have this."

And they both had the dialogue down that much.

That is the...

When you see that, that's like, that's an acting class right there.

Yeah, those guys are good, man.

What they do, Pacino is up there.

You know, he's one of the best of all time in my opinion.

De Niro is good.

But I always prefer Pacino because he's got that edge.

You don't know when he's going to explode.

You know, no, no.

Yeah, you got it.

So it's Pacino and his team after De Niro and his team.

Wow.

It's really quite a good movie.

So it's that time of year at Christmas where you can sort of

watch epic films.

And I'd put this up there once by time you'll wear stuff like that.

It's like an epic movie that if you're going to sit down and go,

"I want to watch a 3-hour movie."

And it's a crime caper.

Check out "Heist."

Check out "Heist."

Check out "He."

It's on every platform streaming.

And on Blu-ray, I got a Blu-ray out at the PlayStation.

It was in the live room.

So I said, "I'll have to go hook that up."

And I was like, "It's on Amazon, Netflix and Disney."

I was like, "Oh, nice."

Choose one, you know.

But recommend if you enter crime capers and epic ones of that.

Nice.

I've got a don't recommend.

You know, you know I love a shit film.

Oh, watch a really shit movie.

I'll go have to find out what that name is.

Karen talking.

You know I love a shit film.

And I love, I love me a Christmas film.

There's a lot of shit films out there at the moment.

And I watch, and I love a werewolf film.

So when I saw that "Shudder," the prime horror tunnel,

had a film called "Wearwolf Santa,"

come out, I thought, "This is going to be right up my alleyway."

It did play at Freudfest last year.

And I remember some people saying one of the better films of Freudfest.

One of the worst films I've seen in about the last ten years,

and I've seen some bad films, Gav,

it is appalling.

The acting, the script, the story,

the werewolf was actually just a rubber mask

that you can purchase from any sort of joke or Halloween novelty store.

And it was a British film, which I didn't expect.

And I thought, when I heard them speaking, I thought, "Oh, okay, this is British.

This might actually have a little bit of a,

that British sort of sarcastic vibe to it,

but it just was awful, awful film, really.

I can't recommend it.

In fact, everyone on Facebook who's sort of said,

"Oh, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, shall I watch?"

And I'm like, "Do not save."

The worst thing is, it's about, I think it was about an hour and 40 as well.

It didn't deserve to be that well.

It's just a fucking piece of shit, and I'm glad I didn't pay for it.

I gave it one out of ten, because that's the lowest you can score.

See, generally on here, you are a more forgiving person with your stars.

Yeah, I know.

And I'm like the ground she'd get off my lawn guy.

But, wow.

Yeah.

Maybe I think it's ten out of ten.

You might do, you might do.

I did also watch "Quick and a Dead." Do you remember that film?

The Sharon Stern Leonardo DiCaprio, yeah, yeah, it's Sam Raimi, isn't it?

Yeah, great movie, great movie.

I really enjoyed watching it again at Lance, Eric Enriksen, and loads of people, actually.

I really enjoyed it with looking at it through the eye of director Sam Raimi, because you

could see the different camera angles and the way he shoots things.

It's quite comical almost, like cartoony, in a way.

He pulls great performances that I've, anyone he's ever worked with, but specifically in

this, Russell Crowe, it's a great cast all the way through, and everybody in it, you know.

And, apparently, Bruce Campbell came on to set and said, "Sam, what's going on?

Where's my part?"

And he was like, "I can't really give you a part because it's like Sharon Stern's production."

She'd just come out blown out as like the big thing.

Yeah.

So, it's just after being sort of stitched up with her vagina being shown.

I'm so much.

Which she was told, obviously, that wasn't going to happen.

So, it's a bit, with Paul Vihov, and that's pretty low.

Below the belt in more ways than one.

It was.

Anyway, he said, "Right fine, go to costume."

So, he comes back and says, "All right, you need to go up to that guy there, his daughter,

and kind of try and chat up that daughter, the guy's daughter."

So, then he's going to get an order view.

Can you just sort of do that in the background?

So, yeah, no worries, no worries.

So, Bruce Campbell, and he says to the other guy, he says, "Punch Bruce in a stomach when

after he says that, like, really hard.

He's got padding, don't worry about it."

It's like a punchline, it's like an obvious punchline.

I don't need to tell the joke.

You know what happens?

Anyway, he comes to film it, Bruce Campbell gets punched in the gut, and he's on the floor.

And he goes, "Sam, you just goes, 'Great, got it, one shot,' and the cameraman's like,

'We didn't have any film on the camera?' and he goes, 'Yep, move on.'

It's a love-hate relationship with those two, isn't it?

Anyway, I like that, I watched that, but I'll tell you what, I discovered a film, which

I would say, I don't have a biff.

Do we cover it one day?

It feels like a waste if it's my birth episode, and I've got the choice of two light films.

Do we cover it one night?

But I watched a movie, which I was like, a commentary track would be fucking incredible.

There might be something we could do, Patreon, if we're ever together, because we could show the video

possibly at the same time, because we could do that on Patreon, maybe.

It's a movie called 'Some Things Never Die' from 1998, or 'Bugbuster'.

Ooh, that's a bad title, for the first one.

Killer Cockroach is a small, lakeside community.

I kind of really enjoyed it.

It's got Randy Quaid as General George, and he's like a bugbuster, and he turns up an hour into the movie,

like, full on like, kind of, erm, I wrote it.

Yeah, I kind of liked this film.

It gets 3.9 out of 10.

Oh, bless it.

And I don't know why, but I kind of enjoyed it.

The effects were kind of cool, you know, wait times, and there's just something about it where it kept moving,

kept going the whole time, and I was like, it's not a no part of going, fuck this movie.

I watched the whole thing, and I had it on with a looger, so, in case you're like, look at that looger,

and it'd be like Cockroach, it's coming out of bodies and stuff, but, effects was not too bad.

I don't know, I can't say to people would you recommend it.

I would recommend it, I guess, if you're into sort of that sort of schlock, but where to find it?

Fuck those. Absolutely have no idea.

Well, we can always add it.

We can add it onto a future episode at some point.

I think possibly, or we did a commentary, I don't know, because it'd be amazing for people to watch.

If we're going to do that, I'll hold off on watching it so that I give my first honest feedback on it,

as well as we're watching it lying.

At the same time, it might become a call to just to read through that for people, just listening to us.

Yeah, sounds fun. I love a creature feature, so...

I almost thought, do I pause geo 666 and put that on? I can't.

No. I'll keep it as it is.

I watched a Christmassy film a bit early, but I thought, after watching that back to where Wolf Santa,

the following evening...

You had to dilute and get something better.

Yeah, so I watched something that I heard was good, and I was thinking it isn't going to be that good.

I watched "The Violent Night", which came last Christmas.

Yeah, Sarah and I saw that, actually.

I cannot recommend it enough.

I think you weren't as quiet into it as I was, but...

I think it was, I'm going to really enjoy it the second time round, because I didn't know it was a real Father Christmas.

Yeah.

So that threw me, because I thought, as a dude just Father Christmas, something happens, he takes revenge.

Because the way they sell it with John Blake, I didn't think it could be a real Santa Claus like,

Fat Santa, Mel Gibson's a real Santa Claus, and you just have to believe there's a world where a real Santa exists.

Yeah.

So that confused me in the movie.

And some of the people in the movie didn't know that he's real leave, so I was a bit confused.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, what was cool about it is, because it's made, obviously, it's made for adults, because it's quite a violent film for the swearing.

John Leguizamo pretty much places his character from "Dionard II" in it, as the head of the baddies.

But because it's made for our age group, who grew up watching "Home Alone" and all these sort of...

It has got...

Sweet and sugary film.

It's got that in it, so you all sort of sucked into the whole, like, "Oh, the family, oh, the kid."

But out of the blue, we get this violence comes in.

And for me, it was a perfect sweet spot.

No, I'm gonna enjoy it the second time round.

It wasn't what I expected, but I did enjoy the fact it flipped it to the slight "Home Alone" in a loft star fan.

Yeah, and, you know, there was enough references to "Dionard and Home Alone."

It knew what it was doing.

Yeah, one scene did frustrate me, though, because I messaged you about it, and they legitimately just took "Dionard."

And I know everybody is gonna know that, but I was just like, "Why are you doing?"

And, like, literally, almost by word, like the phrase in the way it was.

I was just like, "Why are you doing that when he's looking at the chair tied up?"

Yeah.

And I was like, "That's... I don't..."

I'm happy with that, though, because I love seeing that.

Yeah, annoyed me, because it was too... it was too, like, "Yes, look, we're doing "Dionard."

Like, what?

I also like the characters, isn't it?

"Let it sport."

I thought David Harbour was great. He was very funny.

Yeah, yeah.

And it was quite a different story.

You know, we've seen so many origin stories for Santa.

But this was like...

You could double-birp with Fat Santa in Melbourne.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was great. I can't recommend it enough.

It's going on my "rewatch" list for next year, and it probably will become one that I watch regularly.

I think it's got a real mean streak to it.

The last one I wanted to mention is also "Weirdy" a Christmas film, because after that,

I thought, "That was great."

And everyone was talking about a film called "There's Something in the Barn,"

which only came out about two weeks ago.

Yeah, the trailer looked kind of fun.

Again, this was phenomenal.

Oh, good.

It was a perfect blend of crampus meets...

There was an element of home alone, of gremlins to it,

but it was more crampus and rare exports blended together,

so it was really mean-spirited, very funny, but very adult.

And you don't expect that, because the violence doesn't come to about the midway point.

But without spoiling it at all, all it is is an American family

who decided to go back to Norway, which is where the dad of the family's grandfather was originally from.

So he's like very small partner Norwegian to renovate a farm and a barn into an Airbnb.

And that's going to be how they make their money.

Their business.

What they don't realize is there is a barn elf living in the barn who,

there are certain rules that if you don't treat the barn elf right, it will fuck you up.

But if you look after it, it will do things like clear the snow off your lawn,

all this kind of stuff.

Very funny.

You're like it because it's a small town.

Everyone knows that each other is very snowy because it's in Norway.

And it's that fish out of water American, very American family,

you know, California family who used to sun and sun shining being on Twitter.

But then they're suddenly in the middle of nowhere where there's no Wi-Fi,

there's no nothing other than snow.

Really good, really good fun.

And the last half an hour or 40 minutes is just like a massacre.

And it's amazing.

And yeah, that only came out a few weeks ago.

There's something in the barn.

It's on prime.

You can rent it for about three quid, honestly.

But double bills so well with Krampus, I would say, or rare exports, you know,

either of those two really.

But it's definitely got some gremlins stuff to it as well.

And you'll see what I mean when you watch it.

But yeah, great, great, great film.

So that really got me in the Christmas spirit, you know.

So yeah, I'm really pleased.

So it took David Harbour with a giant mallet killing bad guys and little gnomes in a barn

to defeat the bad taste in my mouth of the werewolf santa.

And we made a short film by me and the kid, Santa Claus.

You did many years ago.

The children were tiny then, weren't they?

Anything else you've watched or?

No, no, I'm happy to get on the episode.

No!

Wow!

Cats?

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Are we covering the stage?

Or stage show cats?

Oh, God, I've heard that the film, the movie version is really disturbing.

You can do that.

And then we can actually do it half an, like, episode dedication to, um,

what's he called?

That one we don't like.

Moved, went to America.

Oh, James Corden.

Yeah, oh, God.

Listen, if I was, if I had a garden.

That dude.

And there was James Corden or Alice from Die Hard in front of me.

I would shoot James Corden.

I'd let Alice live.

Alice is fine compared to it.

James Corden, God.

Alice is dick though.

I do see on a, see a social network things, uh, uh,

American audiences going, I don't understand what English, I like him.

But I guess it's because of our humour, our joy humour.

And he just doesn't do it well.

That's why.

No.

And it comes called very cheap and cheesy and not funny.

Um, but I think that translates to other countries where they find it funny.

Obviously you must do because he's done very well over in America.

I, um, I'm going very terrible.

Just very quickly before we, we go into the trailer for Cat's Eye.

Um, I'm going to watch later in the month.

I'm going to be watching the Gruffalo at the cinema with my children.

Now this is my first cinema experience.

My wife's been already with them a couple of times.

And I'm really excited, but then I found out that James Corden does the voice of the mouse.

Oh no.

And I'm just going to be like, uh, I'm in the cinema with my children.

At least I don't have to look at him.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

I'll just be wanting the Gruffalo to eat that mouse all the way through it.

Fuck that mouse.

But listen, enough about James Corden.

Fuck him out, people.

Let's not get, don't fuck him out.

You're not Richard.

Gear.

Um, now, durable.

I think it was a durable up his bottom, isn't it?

Yeah, a durable gear, GG.

I get the durable gear.

Right.

He slips into terrible gear.

Talking of small furry animals.

Talking of small furry animals, we're going to be reviewing first of all Cat's Eye from 1985's.

So, before we get any more naughty, let's get into a trailer for Cat's Eye from 1985.

No, it's not all slipping to durable gear.

Oh, that's...

[Music]

Stephen King, your favorite novelist and master of modern horror, has written his first motion picture screenplay.

It combines all the elements of his creative imagination.

[Music]

Lovable pets.

Classic cars.

[Music]

Quiet evenings.

Favorite films?

Kill the son of a...

Good idea.

Adorable kids.

Help me.

It's after me.

And of course, a monster or two.

[Music]

Experience a series of electrifying adventures.

A scene through Stephen King's Cat's Eye.

[Music]

[Music]

Where's your sense of humor?

[Music]

Stephen King's Cat's Eye.

Okay, so that was the trailer and here is our review of Cat's Eye from 1985, rated PG-13, one hour, 34 minutes.

A stray cat is the linking elements of three tales of suspense and horror.

[Music]

My first view in.

It is, yeah, that's right.

So it's a horror anthology.

It's written by Stephen King.

In fact, two of the segments were appeared in the Night Shift book series.

He did have short stories.

So it's got that Stephen King vibe to it.

It's also directed by Lewis Teague.

Now, Gabb's familiar with Lewis Teague because he recently, for the first time, watched Kujo, didn't you Gabb?

No.

I still didn't watch it because I like dogs and I don't like children being under threat.

I like dogs.

And they're just two elements that come together in a negative way for me.

Even though it might not be portrayed that bad, I just...

Well, you will have seen a couple of his films because he also directed Alligator from 1980,

which we reviewed many, many, many, many back nine years ago.

He also reviewed, he also directed The Jewel of the Nile.

So he used to blame for me as a child at night times going to sleep going,

"Oh, say anything you put down the toilet, it just grows."

And Alligator just grow down the toilet.

And there you were putting your penis down the toilet.

Giant fish down the toilet in a sewer, you know.

It made me think and have nightmares, I'm sure.

Yeah.

So, the first time I saw this, we recorded it off of the television.

Phew.

Sometimes in the 90s when I was still a teenager living with my parents.

Yeah, you missed me.

I never saw sort of memories.

Well, I just saw it in the newspaper and I saw that it said Stephen King's cat's eye

and I thought, "Oh, I like Stephen King."

And I saw that it said starring Drew Barrymore.

So I recorded it, that was that.

However, I don't know how, but me and my sister only ever saw,

because we watched this together, and we only saw the last segment.

So we just saw the segment with the little creature and we thought...

Someone recorded like, "Tag it."

Yeah, I don't know how.

But then somehow, I think my sister probably got hold of the full film on VHS or DVD or something.

But you love back in the day, just like video tapes.

Me and the blank video tape, you'd be on there and it'd be something written on it,

and it's rubbed off, something else is written on.

It's rubbed, and it's just like, "Fuck, what's that?"

And you put it on it and right in the end, you get something else,

then that'll finish and you get like just different versions of films at the end.

Yeah, and you'd get to know the...

Late night telly shit.

Even like all the videos we recorded of the TV at Christmas time,

you know, it had all the adverts on the ad breaks.

Oh yeah.

Because you'd watch those films so many times, you'd know the adverts, you know?

The best, the beautiful thing of YouTube now is you can actually go like,

"Right, I want the winter 1985 ITV, you know, Channel 3 in the England adverts."

And you'll probably get them, and it's great.

Yeah, it is fun.

It is fun.

But yeah, so I didn't get to see the full version of this till much later when I moved out

and I was in my mid-twenties.

And I was very shocked that the first two were not anything like the third one,

which is more fantastical.

Are you quite excited?

I was.

Like going like, "I can't believe I'm going to watch it if I've never seen the last segment of the whole few times."

Yeah, because to me, if it's only about 30 minutes long to me, you know,

but actually the first segment with James Woods is more like something that Cronenberg would do

with the whole smoking thing.

And then the middle segment is just like this almost Alfred Hitchcock paranoia

balancing on the edge of a building horrible thing.

And then the last one is full on almost a bit Spielberg-y

because it's got Drew Barrymore in it and a little creature and a cat.

Three very different, but to me, I still loved it and, you know,

I was really excited to add this to our list.

And I thought it'd be a good little pairing with Twilight Zone because they're both,

they're only a couple of years apart and they're horror anthologies.

Twilight Zone, everybody knows that movie and talks about that movie,

but not many people, including yourself, had either seen or really even heard of Cat's Eye.

So really happy to chat about that with you.

But yeah, this is your first viewing.

So without giving any spoilers yet, about giving away whether you give it a thumbs up or thumbs down,

your first viewing, any thoughts that you can share with us?

I knew Drew Barrymore wasn't it.

I didn't know James Woods was in it.

I, it was okay.

I think, you know, I'm the age I am in 20-3.

It didn't hold my interest as much as something else might do.

I don't know, it's also anthology films.

It's always an up to, it's a roller coaster with them, it always is.

And this was only free, so it's not like a multiple of like 10 or 20 or so week.

Our next one's coming, our ABC's a death or something like that.

You know, next one's coming, next one's coming, if you don't like that, next one.

But, oh right, I don't think, I don't know.

I don't know how I didn't see it.

I think maybe the front cover was, was it always just like Drew Barrymore's little girl?

Was that always the cover?

Most of the covers is just the cat.

Maybe I just saw that a thought, you know.

But the word Stephen, I think the word Stephen King above it would always, you know, sell me.

That's true.

I think it's in the dawning of, well not dawning, in the age then of the video shot with the

fucking amazing artwork.

It probably just didn't catch my eye and I just didn't, whatever reason, see it.

I don't know why.

Yeah.

Isn't this, it's cool, good.

Yeah, anyway, well let's get onto it, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about it.

I did like the opening, it's quite interesting, I thought that was quite fun.

I like the cats, the cats got a big tune.

The koo-joo following the cat and then the Christine car.

Christine.

I wanted more.

Yeah, it's pretty cool that all that kind of stuff happened.

So yeah, so essentially these stories are linked by a cat.

And wasn't that a story like pulled out apparently, like the producers thought that was just

a direct tool.

No, a direct tool wanted to do it.

A producer said, "No, we're not going to put that in."

It was a bit more of a story explaining the significance of the cat and why.

And they said, "No, no, no, bother."

And the director was a bit gutted by it, I think I'll read that.

I think there was going to be more backstory of the cat, yeah.

Yeah, so the cat essentially is travelling across America.

So it starts off running from goo-joo, almost getting run over by Christine, which will

be a little nods.

And then it keeps seeing images of Drew Barrymore in different forms saying, "Help me.

He's going to get me.

It's coming after me."

And then we go to our first segment because the cat is picked up by a man who works for

a lab where they test things on animals, which we'll get into in a minute.

And we start off with our first segment, which is called Quitters Incorporated.

And we're going to be wearing our man, James Woods, as Dick Morrison.

And we've got to remember, it was interesting watching this because I was just going back

to then.

I grew up, my childhood has been around.

People smoke in constantly everywhere.

Everywhere.

Yeah.

Cinema, fucking everywhere.

It was just a thing.

It was just the normal thing to do.

It was just the smokest of those.

I've been going through a box, basically, of probably hundreds and hundreds and hundreds

of cigarettes that I'm joking.

Someone pulled out a straight cigarette now.

Could I look at them?

No.

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of photographs I've been going through.

And I've been actually getting rid of some of them or deciding which ones I want to keep,

just because they take up a lot of room.

And me and the pub, you know, at 20 or 20 years old, and there's people around me and

they're all smoking in the pub.

And it just feels such a long time ago that all that sort of stuff happened, doesn't it?

Can't imagine smoking inside now.

My first job, even hospitals, people smoked in the office in my first job when I was 16,

17.

Oh, I used to work at British American Tobacco in London.

And they had cigarettes on the side.

They made you smoke there.

Yeah.

The cigarettes and ashtrays and all that was on the side.

You could just take packets of cigarettes put in your pocket.

You'd just like a cigarette is what you work and spoke.

That's great, isn't it?

You don't get that in other jobs.

Working in Cadbury's Chocolate Factory, and they're just handing you loads and loads of

Cadbury's Chocolate and everyone's waddling around having heart attacks.

No, I've worked at lots of different, really interesting places.

Do you remember what those drinks, the glass ones, and the lid would pop?

There's loads of different flavours.

It's an American drink, but it had to be in England for a long time.

Yeah, I do.

A sunkiss?

No one knows.

Oh, fuck's that.

A little in the lid would pop.

Sunny D?

No, I wasn't that.

I can't remember what they were now.

But yeah, I remember just sitting in the fridge and just stating, "Stacked drinks much

you like."

So it's like, you sit there having competition to people.

How many you could drink?

They're like dying.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Well, we start off with, after the cat's been taken into this laboratory, we start off

with our man James Woods, and he sat in a car outside this clinic in, I believe, New

York City, and he sat with his friend, and he's very nervous about going in this clinic,

and his friend says, "Look, come on, dick.

Do it.

Just go inside.

It's fine.

They're a really good clinic."

And it's a clinic to help people quit smoking.

God damn do they help people quit smoking.

Okay, no.

How does this...

They will rape your wife if you have a cigarette.

They actually have a man who will...

They literally keep the dirty man around their class, a man.

To rape people.

If you see him.

I am imagining he will rape anything.

Jesus Christ.

I imagine it's not just to women.

I imagine he's not sexist and upon any wave of his raping.

I reckon it's fucking everywhere.

Brilliant.

And they keep this dude, and this is how gnarly they are, right?

You're going to quit out a quick smoke.

This is why.

If you don't, everyone's fucked, and we don't mean they're dead.

They're actually going to be fucked by rapey man over here.

So this is why this segment feels quite like a bit of a Cronenberg movie to me.

It was pretty fun.

It was very dark.

I was not expecting that so much when it came in.

It was like cigarettes were like, because that was a bit more of a sore point nowadays,

but a bit more of a thing.

Do you know what I mean?

So I noticed that it's straight away, but then we've got to go.

I've reached people.

The fuck the fuck you know.

I think honestly, I would say to you, Gav, maybe give this a second view at some time.

Possibly.

But once you go into it, having seen it a few times, you can really notice all the little

fun things in it, because it is fun in a dark way.

But yeah, so he goes into the office and he sees a man crying in the perception area.

I'm not surprised.

And he thinks bloody hell.

They must have some good techniques in here.

I don't know why he's crying so much.

It's the rapey man.

He's really crying.

But yeah, he sits down and thinks, shall I have a cigarette while I'm waiting to go in?

And he thinks actually there are signs everywhere saying, don't smoke and there's no ashtrays

and he thinks probably shouldn't.

Okay.

So a man comes out.

Oh, before that, sorry, the man who's crying, his wife comes out and hits him with a handbag.

And we think, what's going on here?

Well, this is a scenario that James Woods is going to become familiar with much later on.

So yeah, he's very confused.

The doctor comes out and says, ah, Dick, come on in.

We're going to change your life.

Now, I've got a few questions just to form to fill out.

Do you, you've got a daughter, haven't you?

A 10 year old daughter?

Yeah.

What's her name?

What?

What's her school?

And James, we had actually says, like, I'm not going to tell you.

That's nothing to do with this.

And he's like, there we'll find out.

And he's like, well, why do you need to know this?

And he's like, and then you've got your wife, of course, your lovely wife.

Yeah.

Okay, we know all this about you anyway.

And they're a bit like the men in black, these guys, it seems.

And he locks the door.

He hulks out at this point.

He says, we've got any cigarettes on you at the moment.

He says, of course I've got cigarettes on me.

I've always got a pack of cigarettes on me.

So he walks over and he locks the door.

And he says, put the cigarettes on the desk.

And the doctor just goes crazy and smashes them with his fists.

And you're thinking, I don't want to be in this room now.

He's locked me in.

And he says, we do have, rather some would say, radical methods within our clinic.

And he says, look at this cat.

And this is our cat, general, his name is the cat.

He's in a room, a glass room.

And he says, look at this cat over here.

See this cat?

And they start playing, come on and shake it up, baby.

Twist and shout.

But as the music comes on, they electrify the floor.

So this cat is being electrocuted, jumping all over the place in time to the music, comically.

Very Stephen King.

And the cat is going absolutely nuts.

No.

They didn't do this for a real gun.

You'd be pleased to know they didn't electrocute the cat for real.

So what do they do?

They had the cat's handler was underneath the floor with like an air spray canister.

So it was just basically spraying air that the cat's feet, making the cat sort of jump

in a fun way.

It wasn't, they weren't harming it.

It was literally just spraying air underneath it to make it jump around.

I just wanted you to analysis.

Physically, mentally, the cat might be scared of gusts of wind.

The cat's liner, it farts.

And it's like, oh my God, what was that?

They got a dog as well.

It's like a pit bull, and it just farts next to his head.

I'm getting flashbacks to that laboratory.

I'm getting flashbacks to that laboratory.

Yeah, so, but James Wood is obviously very angry.

He says, "Oh, what's going on here?

How can you do this?"

And the doctor says, "Look, we've got certain techniques here, but what I can tell you is

we've got 100% success rate, and you will be watched."

And let's just say that if you do smoke a cigarette, it will be your wife that's doing

the twisting shout in that room.

And if it's not your wife, it could be your daughter.

And, you know, we've also got a guy that we keep around because we could go ahead as far

as raping your wife.

So, you know, and this is a guy that just wants to smoke cigarettes.

He's not on heroin.

You know, it's not...

I don't know.

The tactics are quite, quite good.

Maybe these tactics could work nowadays for other things.

Yeah, it's pretty full on.

They're politicians.

When they're under oath, trying to tell not truths, we sort of say, "Well..."

So Donald Trump, we will, but forgive.

Thank you.

Your wife, Yavanka, what's she called?

Funka?

Yavanka.

Where do you want her?

Claudia.

Where do you want her, Trump?

Or Wonka?

That's not...

Just out of being Wonka Trump.

And it's not getting to what a Wonka Trump could be.

At one point, the President of the United States, surname, was another word for fart.

Yeah.

All the meanwhile, the Prime Minister of England's surname was another word for penis.

We had Johnson and Trump in power.

I always found that very funny when those two were in power, particularly because they were

like two versions of the same buffoon as well.

Well, I had never really thought of the name Trump until he became a thingy...

Boss.

The big, big cheese of America.

And every format, so this is what happened.

I was like, "Trump."

I was like, "It's just a name for thought."

That's English slang for fart.

Yeah, it's pretty funny.

So, James Woods goes home and he's watching on TV.

What's he watching, Gavin?

He's watching...

The ice!

It's gonna break.

It's gonna break.

He's watching the dead zone.

And he actually says, "I can't watch these movies."

Whoever writes these movies is appalling.

Oh, it's Stephen King.

It's a little in-joke.

It's another in-joke to the Stephen King of hosts.

Oh, hilarious.

I thought it was good.

I like that.

He almost has a fag.

A cigarette for...

Sorry, that's a slang, but I fag.

Is English slang for...

Is it a marriage slang as well?

Fag?

No, no, no, no.

I've got a fag in my nose quite a lot because it's just...

Just to explain to anybody who's not from the UK, and you may already know this anyway,

but in the UK, cigarettes are often called fags, F-A-G, but we're not using that in a derogatory term in any way.

In fact, we both hate that word and that use of that word.

Yeah, it's fag.

This word is actually just three letters fag.

I started writing "sig" in my nose.

"Siggees."

I actually just put fag in it.

It was actually a little way into my nose.

I was like, "Oh, I've wrote fag for her because I don't even..."

It's funny because it's easier to write in my ADHD brain than cigarette.

No, you're right.

It is quick and easier to write.

So he imagines being told, you know, he's starting to picture this guy getting in his head,

"Oh, you're going to..."

"There's going to be things happening to your wife, your daughter."

The rape thing comes up in his head again.

We may even go as far as killing them, and he's really stressed.

His wife's really concerned.

She's like, "James Woods, what is wrong with you today?"

How much do we paint these people?

Well, she doesn't know about any of this.

But she says, "What earth is wrong with you?"

And he's like, "I just want some fag in ice cream, okay?"

She's like, "Whoa, calm down, honey."

He's like, "James Woods, once I imagine James Woods comes into house and he just fag in the clear, his angry eyes cream."

He does angry quite well, James Woods, doesn't he?

Yeah.

It'd be like Nicholas Cage coming in your house demanding...

You need those two and a buddy comedy, comedy movie.

That'd be too much.

Too much.

I couldn't take it.

But yeah, his wife says, "What? What's wrong? Why do you want ice cream so bad?"

He says, "If he must know, I quit smoking today."

She actually laughs at him.

She says, "You? My God, come on."

But he doesn't tell her the full story.

He says, "Look, just let me deal with this.

I haven't had a cigarette since 3pm. It's now about 9pm.

I'm doing well. I just need some fag in ice cream."

So that's that.

Night time.

It's raining.

It's very atmospheric.

He wakes up.

And he thinks.

I think I've got some cigarettes in my desk downstairs in my study.

So he sneaks down after the name.

He opens the drawer, tip-top, tip-top.

And he goes in and he goes, "Oh, yes! I knew I had some cigarettes in here.

No one more know these threats are meaningless. No one's really watching me."

He takes one out and he just puts it in his mouth.

And then he hears a noise.

And he looks at the closet door.

And he thinks, "Well, that was just something in here."

And it's quite a frightening moment here because he opens the door.

There's no one there.

But then he looks down and he sees two wet boots sticking out from behind all the coats in there.

There's someone in his closet watching him.

Oh, that old Chester.

Yeah.

He says, "Is there someone there? I didn't smoke. I didn't smoke.

I just came to check my golf clubs."

And he runs off.

And we see a little drip of water running down the shoes.

And that's that.

So he's gone back to bed.

He doesn't know really if that was a nightmare or if it really happened.

But either way, they're getting in his psyche now, I go, "Yeah, yeah, he's totally paranoid."

They're getting in there.

This is a bit like hypnosis, isn't it?

People that have gone for hypnosis.

It's a fairly effective wake.

And getting into the side to really break into the mind and make this paranoia is really

detracting away from it.

It's really full on gnarly, like hardcore.

Harm will come to your wife and daughter if you smoke a cigarette.

And that paranoia is a fear of pain, death, loss of people or anyone hurt or anything.

Yeah, true grin all of this, like, see your pet boots.

That wasn't going on.

He's not going to think that would be open.

He might go spoons, he goes, "Not really someone there."

But with this, it's like there could be someone there.

Well, in the morning comes downstairs and he sees wet footprints on the floor.

So this confirms there was definitely somebody in his house.

He thinks this is real.

This is actually happening.

So he goes to his daughter's school.

She's like learning challenge, I think, isn't she?

Is she learning challenge?

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

But he goes to pick her up from school and give her a cabbage patch kid because it's the 80s

product placement because he loves her and he feels a bit bad that he may have put her

in danger by having a cigarette last night.

So he gives her a cabbage patch kid and then he sees the doctor and he thinks, "What the

fuck is he doing here?"

And he says, "You love her, don't you?

You love your daughter."

And he says, "Look, you can't be here.

You can't keep me under constant supervision.

All of your men was in my house last night and he lasted."

"Were they?

Were they?"

And he's thinking, "I'm what is going on here?"

Well, we get the first part of the song from, well, it isn't the police because they weren't

allowed to use the actual song by staying in the police.

So they used to cover a version of it.

It wouldn't have been running out of it.

It was probably too fucking expensive.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

They didn't have the back of the budget for it.

Everybody's smoking at his party.

Yeah, he's at this party.

Every breath you take.

Which is quite comic-core, isn't it?

Every move you make.

But also relates to the last.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's quite a good use of that song.

I bet they were gutted when Sting.

What a prick.

Imagine if a sting.

Hi, Sting.

We're making this film.

It's about this, this and this.

What would tie everything in perfectly is your song.

Can we have it for a bit of a lower price?

And he's like, nah.

Nah, you can't have my song.

All right, we'll just get someone else to sing it then.

All right.

Who sang it?

I don't know who it was.

It's not unheard of or uncommon to do that though.

Just get to cover something so much cheaper.

But I swear to God, so this party that James would say,

I swear to God, watching this scene, I felt like my clothes

smell with cigarettes because I think the only person not smoking at that party is James Woods.

And everybody's puffing away, aren't they?

He's got a good test for him, fucking ill.

Jesus Christ.

Why did he go there?

That'd be like giving up booze, which is something I've done a few months ago,

and then going to a massive sort of piss up somewhere and just sort of sitting there like,

this is fine, this is fine, or giving up heroin and doing like a marathon of train spotting

over and over and over and over again.

Just make you want to go back to heroin.

I did enjoy watching that last time I saw it because I thought I wouldn't because the baby thing.

I actually think I looked at my phone and the baby thing came up.

Yeah, it's a bit...

Off that.

Pretty good film.

It's a bit much, isn't it?

Yeah, he really, really, really wants to figure out the people that say,

"Hey, come on, dear, have a cigarette."

And he's like, "No, thanks, no, thanks, I quit."

"You quit, no, come on."

But then he starts hallucinating.

People are becoming human cigarettes or human packets of cigarettes.

One guy's got 10 cigarettes hanging out of his mouth.

There's a picture of eyes in it looking around.

Yeah, there is.

Spine on him like a Scooby-Doo.

Very, very Scooby-Doo.

And then he hallucinates that the doctor is walking down the stairs at the party,

singing "Every breath you take, I'll be watching you."

And he thinks, "I've got to get out of this fucking party."

So he does, he leaves.

So, kind of saying out of society, isn't it?

It's a bit like that.

I would like to see more of this clinic and what they do.

We should do society one time.

Well, it's down on the list to do as a Brian Yzner.

We'll use the...

Yeah.

That'll be definitely one that we're covering because that is a fucked up film.

And I love it.

So he leaves anyway.

The next day, he's driving along in his car.

Sun shining, convertible top down in his car.

He's happy.

He's got music playing.

He'll get into a driver jam and he's like, "Oh!"

But the bridge opens, doesn't it?

The bridge opens, so he's got a weight.

And he thinks, "Oh, dear."

"Oh, I've dropped my tape.

My cassette tape.

Let me just pick that up."

"Oh, what's this under the seat?

What is it, Cap?

He's got a little packet of cigarettes."

Yeah.

And he thinks, "Well, come on.

No one's around.

I'm in a traffic jam."

I mean, he looks around in paranoid.

Just normal people in their cars going about their business.

I get it though.

I understand Ray's coming from his sight.

Oh, fuck it.

Like, literally, like, "I'm alone.

No one's going to know."

This is a really...

I was just telling him, but...

It's a really good scene because he crunches down at the bottom of his car and he's really sort of hunched down.

And he likes to cigarette and he takes that drag and you see like, "Oh, thank God."

"Oh, feels good to do that."

Then the bridge opens and people are driving around him to go over the bridge and he says,

"His car isn't going anywhere because he's sort of having a few puffs hunched down."

And then he sits up and he looks over and he sees a man in a sports car with a woman next to him.

They just smile at him.

And it's such an evil smile.

Like, "You fucked up." And they just speed away and he thinks, "Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I've got to get him to my family. I've got to get him to my family."

So he speeds off.

He goes home.

No one's there.

Food's burning in the kitchen.

It's like almost like his wife's been snatched, snatched away.

You can't find her anywhere.

And he gets a phone call.

And it's the doctor.

"Hello, Dick. I trust 5pm will be a good time for you today."

And he's like, "What have you done to my wife? What have you done?"

And he's like, "I'll be seeing you at 5pm, Dick. We'll see you later. Goodbye."

And he just hangs up on him.

It's fucking awful.

He's thinking, "What are they going to do to her?"

He arrives at the clinic and he gets dragged into the room and there she is.

She's in the glass case, isn't she?

Yeah.

And he says, "Look, you can't do this. This is inhuman."

She's about to have air blown up at her.

She's going...

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

But for the purposes of the film...

Marrying mung roe style.

Yeah. If only it was that. She's getting shocked.

Imagine from around in my mouth, I was like, "Ooh, tickles my bits."

Well, that might be why she liked doing that.

I'm sure it was.

[Laughs]

Have you ever put a hair dryer down there?

I would go there and start in a dressing gown with no pants on it.

I'd go there and do my pants on.

I'd go there and do my underpants.

I'd go there and do my underpants.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I'd go there and do my underpants on it.

I think you did a couple of kit box lessons or something.

No, he's my only ever did one fucking kit box

in there thing because that's what I'm like.

I went along and I was like, "Ah shit."

I'd like paint your toenails.

Glittery toenails.

Made an impression and I could keep the bag fairly old.

People were like, "Have you seen old twinkle toes over there?

Fucking ow, he's good."

Skinhead beard and painted toenails.

They wouldn't have known what to do with you.

They'd have been like, "Here's a new student.

Let's kick his ass."

"Oh, hang on a minute.

He's got glittery toenails."

I think it made an impression.

Well done.

His wife's getting electric shock in this room.

He starts having a bit of a scrap with the guys in the lab.

There's a big henchman in the doctor.

Three punches are thrown in the ruckus.

The cat general escapes and runs off onto the next story

in the trilogy.

Twist and shout starts playing.

It's all very comical.

What's, what's, is it gunpoint?

You've got some explaining to do to your wife.

Don't you?

Come on.

You need to explain to her.

So they put them in a room together.

And he says, he has a bet with his henchman.

He says, "I've seen this, this go.

Two ways.

Which way do you think it's going to go?

I think he's going to confess."

And he says, "Yeah, so he confesses to her.

She hugs him."

And the cat jumps on a boat, leaves New York City harbor.

And we cut to some time later at the clinic.

Yeah.

So he's still having checkups, you know.

Can't believe he doesn't smoke cigarettes for as long as it's been.

He's very, very buddy-buddy now with them.

With the guy who potentially was going to get his wife raped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, completely lied to contrast to what we're just seeing.

Yeah.

But yeah, you're right.

And he weighs in and he says, "Well, you do really well, but you have put a little bit of weight on."

What I'm going to do, Mr. James Woods, is prescribe these diet pills to you.

He says, "Oh, come on.

Three or four pounds isn't a lot is it?"

And he says, "Well, you know, he says, "What are you going to do if I don't take these pills?"

"Well, we'll cut off your wife's little finger."

They will have a big laugh about it.

And then again, sometime later goes on again.

And he gets together with some buddies who've all been through this clinic.

And they all say, "Here's to Quiddo's Incorporated."

And they have a drink and they cheers together.

And as they cheers together, one of the wives of his friends is missing her little finger.

Yeah.

So that's your opening segment.

Quiddo's thing.

I like it.

It's fun.

It's got some paranoia, sort of bits in it.

It's interesting to watch in "Toto" for the whole smoking thing and growing up with that sort of thing anyway.

It was quite interesting to see.

But yeah, it was OK as well.

Yeah, it's James Woods.

It had to have someone good in that role.

And I think James Woods was the guy at the time that could do it.

So yeah, I was happy with that.

The score in this was pretty bad at times.

And this was actually the composer of Predator soundtrack.

Oh, wow.

And the Silver Stream.

Well, I really liked his first horror film he did.

I like the cat seems to have its own superhero theme tune.

And whenever that plays, I kind of like it.

Yeah, it might have been just at that point then of what my notes had.

Well, we are about to get started on our second of the three stories.

And this second one is called "The Lege".

In the words of "Rakeem".

I guess I did "Nollege".

Knowledge.

See what he did there?

He was a clever man, that Rakeem.

He still is.

He's not dead, do you know what I'm saying there?

So we see the cat.

And the cat's been fed by a homeless guy.

And he's in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

And again, he sees Drew Barrymore visions over.

This time on TV saying "Help me, General.

He's coming from me.

Help me."

And this cat's like, "Okay, cool."

We never really understand why the cat sees these visions.

Is it a magic cat?

You know, it doesn't matter.

It's ready, does it?

But yeah, so he sees a gambler at the casino.

And this gambler is having a great old time.

And he leaves.

And what we don't know is one of the gamblers is a mob boss.

And the other one is an ex-tenist player.

He's got a bit of a gambling problem.

And they leave the casino, you know, having one or lost some money.

They're all laughing and joking.

And let's go to the next casino.

Okay, yeah, let's do that.

And then they see the cat.

And the cat is trying to cross a very busy road,

a very busy road.

And they are very cruel here.

They put a bit of $2,000 down onto whether or not the cat will make it across the road,

whether the cat will die.

And what they do is...

It is quite cruel, yeah.

They go, "Come on!"

And he's like, "Well, I can do whatever I want to help my bet."

So if the cat gets killed by a car, then you lose.

So one of the guys is trying to call the cat actively across the road

to make it get hit by the cars.

But luckily, because the cat's magic or whatever,

it makes it across the road, but it does cause an absolutely huge crash.

From the sounds we hear, this is really just a,

a leg-giviness, a sort of introduction to our main character and what he's like.

Yeah, Johnny is an ex-tenist player who has now got a bit of a gambling problem,

but he has been having an affair and is in love with Kresner,

who is sort of a Mafioso crime boss.

He's in love with his wife, which is bad.

You don't want to have an affair with a mafia boss's wife, Gav.

Trust me, I've been there.

I was sleeping with the fishies.

He can't say what mafia boss I suppose.

I can't say that, no.

Right.

But, um...

They're on concrete boots.

They, they listen to this show, so...

Oh shit, there's anyone that listens to this show, and now he knows.

Oh.

Oh, well, that's the end of... this is the last episode then.

Um, no, so he's having an affair with Kresner's wife,

and they are actually in love, and he said they plan to escape together,

and he says, "You get on this bus, and I'll meet you later on.

I've just got to go and do a few bits and bobs."

But before you can do anything, he is kidnapped by two of Kresner's henchmen.

Now, this is a more, um, grand-ed story, isn't it?

The first one is a bit more almost sci-fi.

This, uh, upon reflection now, uh, as we talk about it,

it's reminded me of the, uh, segment of Quentin Tainty, now Bruce Willis.

Yes, exactly.

In our forums, the last segment, and it's basically just, um...

rich white people, uh, uh, taking advantage of other people for their own pleasure and gain.

Yeah, it's definitely got... feels like it could have been...

I don't know, they're not in forums, I guess, but, uh, but they're definitely doing this.

This could have been in that movie, this could have been a segment in that movie.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they drive him, they drive Johnny in the trunk of the car to Kresner's, um, penthouse.

They stash some heroin in his car.

They take him up to Kresner, and Kresner says, "Look, I've set you up.

I know what you've been planning to do with my wife.

I know you're in love with her.

Just tell me where my wife is.

I've got a wager for you.

If you don't tell me where she is, you're gonna get with the police all arrive and you'll be arrested for having heroin in your car.

But if you tell me where she is, then, you know, I'll let you go and that's it.

You know, I just need to know where she is because I need to speak to her.

Johnny thinks, "Well, this is all a bit... do I tell him? I don't know."

But he says, "Look, here's my wager."

Johnny, you used to be a tennis player.

You're an athletic guy.

This building, this penthouse, we're on the top floor, by the way, Galf, very high up.

You need to circumvent... this is not circumvent, circumnavigate, which isn't circumcised, by the way.

It's a different word.

Basically, you need to climb around the entire exterior of this building, just using a ledge.

If you can do that, keep my wife.

What do you think of?

What if he started doing it and they bumped into Rakeem out on the ledge?

Oh, have you been here before?

Yeah, I know the ledge.

Yeah, knowledge. Get it? Message.

Great song.

Yeah.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

It's such a powerful song.

I got a love to go around here.

From the soundtrack of Juice, which has a great film.

We'd love to cover that one day.

Yeah, we could do it here, but it's a special, couldn't we?

Probably have to start a new podcast, but yeah.

All right, another one. We'll add that one to the list of podcasts that will never start one day.

Well, we will, it'll be when the children will grow up.

Yeah.

So, what have you got? 16 years for you?

Yeah, about that.

Fucking hell.

But anyway, he has this way, Journey, he says, "Make it round, then you get your car back, we'll take the heroin out, you get my wife."

But if you fall, then you die.

What are you going to do?

And he says, "Well, I'll take the bet."

And all the way through this, General, the cat is watching.

So, the cat is, you know, the cat's eye is seeing all of this happen and unfold.

So, he starts the challenge.

And he says, "Now, this, you can see that the ledge here is five, just five inches wide, that's all.

Sometimes it's a bit wider.

Sometimes it's a bit narrower.

It all depends where you are on the building.

But basically, if you can make it round, come on.

And he starts laughing at him and teasing him.

He whips at him with a towel.

And he says, "I can do what I want.

This is my bet, just like with the cat across the road."

And Journey looks down and he's very scared because he's so high up.

And Kresner is just laughing at him.

Just like he said, like that scene from "Forums" is he's got that vibe to it.

You know, he's just basically playing, just toying with this guy.

He doesn't expect him to be able to do it.

He says, "You bastard! You can't do this to me."

He then grabs a trumpet, doesn't he? Like a squeaky horn thing?

[C

It's a monkey sound in your head.

What's he doing?

I'm a little wank.

That's what monkeys generally do.

Have you ever seen the video of the monkey in the frog?

No.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's scared.

He's doing sex with the frog, isn't he?

Poor frog, man.

It's as well.

Poor frog.

The frog was like, "I didn't expect that, but I woke up to a small idiot."

And I urge everybody who's listening to not watch this video.

But the worst thing is, is that when the monkey's finished, he throws the frog down, walks off,

and the frog, you think, "Oh, he's killed that frog!"

By basically mashing, raping it.

But then the frog sort of rolls over and slowly crawls away, really disturbed.

Imagine going back to the lily pad and sort of, "Hey, it's Jeff, the frog!"

Eric, where you been?

Where you been?

You don't want to know.

I'm not telling you.

You know that monkey, yeah.

That can live it.

I'm going to have a sort of friend.

If he looks at you, he's going to war.

Hop off, mate.

Hop off.

The fuck off.

So, yes.

Anyway, I don't know how he got onto that, but, um, monkey's.

And then the fact he gave a parental advisory, and they kind of disclaimed her for viewers.

Well, listeners, please don't ever view the frog being that far.

Never watch it.

Never watch "Where Will Santa?" and never watch the frog and the monkey video.

Whatever you do.

As a double bell or single bell.

Yeah.

If my kids ever come in the room and go, "Daddy, Daddy, I just watched the frog and the monkey!"

I'm going to be very disturbed unless it's some kind of cute Pixar type adventure.

Yeah.

Anyway, Johnny, the horn drops.

Are you saying that as long as there's mouth, mouth, just rape in a Disney?

No, no.

Disney is fine.

No, I'm not.

It sounds like a Disney film, "The Frog and the Monkey."

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

"The Frog and the Monkey."

Just the title, not the concept.

Not the concept.

Brilliant.

I don't think Disney might make that film.

Probably not.

But then again, they're in financial problems.

I think, kind of, every long and flop of these companies, they might start going different

ways with their films.

I don't think Disney have got that many financial problems.

Disney's behind the curtain section.

"Gotta be under the shelf, Disney, mate."

Yeah, I have, actually.

Disney Under the Shelf.

What have you got?

Snow White.

Does the Seven Little Dwarfs.

Well, some loads of white.

It's called Seven Up.

She's on the smack.

Seven Up.

Oh, no.

Smack's brown, isn't it, Coke's White?

I wouldn't know.

That's the terminology.

I wouldn't know.

So we watched the horn that he beat to him fall in slow motion and land on the ground.

(imitates horn)

And he continues his way around until a bastard little fucker of a penguin.

Not a penguin, fucking hell, that'd be weird.

A pigeon just starts going at his ankle.

And by going at it, I don't mean it starts coming at his ankle.

That would be weird.

He'd be really annoyed if you were trying to do that.

You're off me.

Pigeon started going at your ankle.

He'd have had a bit of a dog.

I hope you're like...

Thank God, no.

I've never had a dog, haven't we?

Never!

Oh, yeah.

I've had a dog, can't I?

There's a few times.

What did you do?

Like a finisher?

It depends.

It depends.

How many drinks has it bought?

It depends.

It depends.

It's a drunk cat.

No, it depends on your owners there or not.

Well, I tried to get an officer this possible.

That hasn't happened for a while.

Try to get a dog off as soon as you can.

Like a spatula down there.

Plow it off.

But it depends.

If the owner's there, if the owner's there, they're going to do it and get it off pretty quick.

But if it's me, it's going to be a bit longer because I'm going, come on, dog.

Off you go.

If it's a little dog, I'm kicking it off.

I'm sorry, no good or quality to animals, but I'm flicking it off with my leg.

But if you've got like a bald dog or something, you know.

If it's a fucking Excel bully or something like that, I'm just going to be like that.

You just let me know when you're done, mate.

It's over.

Do you want me to help your bald boy?

I'll be doing it.

Can you pass on some tissue?

Yeah.

Depends on the dog.

So there's your answer, guys.

If you're ever getting dumped on by a dog.

Depends on the size.

And if the owner's around.

It's a great.

You know.

There we go.

And as it bought you dinner.

I wonder.

If anyone out there in human existence has become, of course, a real ferocious fucking king of

the beast around the animals, whatever.

Do you want me to say?

Well, like a silver bag gorilla.

Or something.

And then it's been like, you know, fuck, I'm going to be killed to be actually just fucked.

It's not properly actually fucked, but maybe they just rub against them.

Maybe rub against me or something.

And then they walk away and lived.

There must be someone out there who's been fucked by a killer.

What?

That lived.

This is just insanity.

That's what's going on.

I'm just saying it has to be.

Yeah, there probably has been.

There probably has been.

I'm not the way I'm masperated.

Saying it's saying to you like you're trying to argue with me in court.

There must be.

That's going to be one.

I've been in witness number 252.

There you are, Ambrose out there.

And he's like this gorilla.

Do you think it happens to David Amber?

To be attracted to me.

I am two choices.

I fight it or suck it.

Fight it or let it be.

No, he's a dear soul.

He's got a show come up with the incredible discovery in Devon of the plier, sorerus.

I can't remember.

I think that's the name.

Pleasure your soul.

No.

Of the head of it.

Have you seen it?

Yes, I have, yeah.

Incredible.

Absolutely.

You shine giant sorehead found.

Anyway, let's get real.

Back to this pigeon.

So this pigeon is actually pecking his ankles, which is not what you need when you're trying

to scale round the penthouse flat up high.

And he kicks it off and his ankle starts bleeding.

He says he let it fuck her.

He kicks it a bit.

He makes it round to another big ledge and he kicks the pigeon off.

And there's a bit of a gap on this ledge, like a bit of a space where he can sit down

and catch his breath.

Oh, thank God for that.

But Kresner has got a hose and he sees him down there and he blasts him and he says,

"Now, that was on low power.

I can put it on the highest power and just blast you off this ledge.

Get going.

You've got 30 seconds."

So he catches his breath for a few seconds and he's doing it again.

He makes his way around.

He's doing quite well.

He gets quite far, but then he slips and he grabs onto an electric cable and sparks start

flying and he's swinging and it's turning into a bit of a die-hard scenario.

He has to climb back up the cable.

We keep cutting back to the cat who's just watching it, like, "Yeah, yeah."

He makes it back to the penthouse.

He climbs in, he kisses the ground.

He says, "I did it.

Thank God."

And I love this moment, this little horrible moment from this mafia boss.

Kresner says, "All right.

I'll keep my word.

I said you could have my wife and your car.

The heroine's been removed from your car.

And here's my wife."

And he's got a shopping bag with his wife's head in it, which he rolls out on the floor

towards Johnny.

Yeah, it's a bit much.

Okay, now, for all Johnny.

Did he deserve that much?

It's just been a humbling way of pushing.

Jesus Christ.

Well, he gets into a fight, another little fight here, and the cat manages to escape again.

This is how the cat always escapes whenever the fight breaks out.

Johnny manages to grab a gun.

He shoots one other henchman.

We see the cat run out of the building, runs off.

Kresner sort of plays for his life.

He says, "I'll give you anything.

Money.

I can give you this and it keeps going up and up and up until he offers him essentially $2 million.

And he says, "You know, I'm good for it.

You know, come on.

I'm rich.

You can be rich.

Come on."

And obviously, he's killed Johnny's love.

You know, although they're having a threat, Johnny was in love with this woman.

And he says, "I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

Let's have a wager, the ledge.

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo."

So he brings in Rakim and they have to do a battle rap.

Oh, that'd be a great ending.

You wouldn't win, though.

You wouldn't be able to be Rakim.

You're not going to win.

You'd be certain to him today by Rakim.

Just don't you rap and everything.

I just be like, "Man, you're the best."

But anyway, he says they have the bat and he gets out on the ledge.

And he's going, "I can't do this.

I can't do this."

And he's like, "Well, come on.

You can do it."

And he's done, obviously.

He's begging for his life.

Kresner's scared.

We cut down to the cat, just running past that horn that dropped from earlier on the sidewalk.

And we think, "Oh, that's a bit odd.

Why have they showed us that?"

Well, it's because Kresner slips because the pigeon pecks his feet and he falls to his doom

and we don't see him land, but we hear, "Ooh, ooh, ooh."

And that is the end of our segment two, the ledge.

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.

It's just an egg and an octagonal round.

So, we're on to our third and final segment, which is just called General, which is actually

where the cat gets its name.

It's named by Drew Barrymore in this segment.

So, yeah, it jumps on a train.

This cat's been all over the place, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's been a couple of days of the meeting the last ten years.

This cat, all over the place.

And it's heading to North Carolina.

It gets off the train, it jumps into a truck.

And we get a little point of view of something approaching Drew Barrymore's family farm.

And we think, "Oh, here's the cat."

And then we hear, "Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha."

We think, "That in a fucking cat, what is this?"

It's down in the bushes.

Please.

Hello.

No, that's not my perfect voice.

Do you remember my perfect voice?

What is your perfect voice?

Erch.

Erch.

Ha ha!

Sarah's got a perfect voice.

I like to hide in the cupboard and watch.

Oh.

Oh.

That sounds like Mr. Bean, though, and a dirty Mr. Bean.

Can you send me some of your tone out, dipping?

Erch.

Sarah does a really deep voice, right?

It's fine, because obviously I got an trust to her voice, and it's just, "Ugh, don't."

I said, "Don't talk to me like that."

I don't think I'd like to hear that.

Not just a disclaimer.

She doesn't talk to me like it in a way like, "Oh, talk dirty to me."

In the middle of the act.

No, it's not like that.

It's just, you know.

Good.

Well, thanks for enlightening us on that cup.

So, yes.

Anyway, it's not a cat.

Wherever it is, isn't a cat.

But then we do see the cat, because the cat attacks this thing or shoes it off, whatever

it might be.

And then Amanda, played by Drew Marimor, sees this cat and she says, "Oh my God, mommy."

Because she's a little girl.

She's eight, nine, whatever she is.

She loves cats.

She loves animals.

Can we keep him, mommy?

Can we keep him?

No, we're not going to be able to keep him.

And then in the end, they say, "All right, look, if the vet checks him out, because Dad's

a softie."

Obviously.

What's Dad's a light like that, you know?

If the vet checks him out and he's okay, then yes, we can feed him.

So, obviously the vet checks him out.

He's fine.

She feeds him some milk later on.

The mom's a bit apprehensive.

We don't know this animal.

She's a bit paranoid.

He says, "His name's General.

I've named him General.

Can he stay in my room tonight?"

Mom, absolutely not.

No, you're not.

You're not having the cat in the room.

You've got a budgie in the room for a start.

Secondly, we don't know where this cat is.

It might have rabies.

I know the vet's checked it, but I don't want it.

So, she doesn't let him stay in the room that night.

The next day, the cat is hunting in the garden.

And the cat is on its mission because it's been getting these psychic messages from Drew

Baron all the way through this film.

And it knows that there's something out of there that's trying to get her.

So, it's hunting in the garden.

Meanwhile, Amanda is watching Tom and Jerry, isn't she?

Yeah, it's a lot of watching Tom and Jerry.

I could love Tom and Jerry, dude.

You don't get it on anymore, do you?

Obviously, it's not allowed, you know?

Picked up a DVD of Tom and Jerry.

Jumping jumbo salad in there with local village fate last summer,

and I put it on for the kids, a large one.

We watched a few episodes.

Me and my sister had, we bought this at the local Woolworths,

a three-hour videotape of Woody Woodpecker, Tom and Jerry.

And it was just brilliant.

And we used to watch that over and over again.

They're still an Amazon Prime.

You could show them to your kids and they'd visually be able to like them.

I mean, they're very funny.

Okay, yeah, they're violent.

And I know that there's some racial connotations as well.

Yeah, your kids aren't going to pick up on it.

Yeah, and I think if you explain to them...

Your kids are too young, yeah?

They're not going to pick up on anything like that.

Oh, dude.

They do pick up on things, trust me.

We've watched Home Alone several times, and my son, Jack,

within the first 10 minutes of Home Alone said,

"His mummy and daddy are gone now."

And I thought, "Well, he's already worked out the plot of this film."

And then we watched the Snowman, the famous British Christmas,

30-minute cartoon.

Jack sat and watched it with me.

When the end scene sort of came up, when the Snowman melts away,

he started crying his eyes out.

I said, "What's matter?"

He said, "Snowman's gone away now."

So he loads any two.

He totally gets these things.

He's very switched on.

Yeah, he's emotionally very switched on.

Oh, boy.

His sister doesn't give a shit.

I just don't care.

But he's like me, man.

He's going to be crying at everything when he's older, just like me.

So anyway, Mum is cross because she figures out that,

that Amanda, like the cat in her room last night,

and she is worried about the budgie, like I said.

Her dad says to her, "The other reason, this is a real dad moment,

the other reason Amanda is the cat can't sleep in your room

because in the night I've heard that cats steal children's breaths."

Very brave, you take.

Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.

Every move you may--

The right-king version.

Can't believe Puff Daddy did that.

Oh, he did, didn't he?

Yeah.

Does he sting that and do that?

Oh.

Stephen King picks up the phone, and he's like, "I'm not doing it."

Puff Daddy picks up the phone.

Yeah, go for it.

He did.

Oh, Pete, Pete did all he's been done for a diggling, hadn't he?

Pete did all he did, Pete did all he did, all he did, all he did, all he did.

He did all the cuckoo, all the cow jumped all the boom.

It sounded like a fucking Homer's neighbour, Ned.

Yeah, Pete did all he did, and also Vin Diesel.

He's another one that's now--

Vin Diggling.

Sin Diesel, as I like to call him.

Not Kidly Diggling though, are you?

Apparently, he got too fast and too furious with a lady out to a press screening of something.

Oh, these celebs think they can get away with it.

But anyway, so Dad tells Amanda that this cat is going to steal her breath, and he's

not going to be too much of a joke in, or am I?

He's like, "Don't tell your kid that, because kids will believe you."

You know, but it's a bad thing to do.

Anyway, Amanda goes off to school or the bus, and we see her throughout the day, and she's

excited to get home and see Jen roll the cat at night, who isn't apparently officially allowed

in her room still.

She apparently has been having some bad dreams, and she's been dreaming about a monster living

in her wall, which I think she's been visiting a doctor, a psychologist about.

And Dad says to her, "You know, the funny thing is, since that cat's been here, you

haven't had those dreams."

She's like, "Yes, that's because he protects me, Dad.

He's been looking after me.

So if you let him sleep in my room, I won't have any more bad dreams."

So she's got a dad right round of finger, you know.

How does they all do?

Yeah, as they do.

So the parents are talking, the mum says, "I just don't trust that cat.

I don't know why.

I just don't want him in her room.

I don't want him to eat the budgie, all that kind of stuff."

Night time, and the cat is trying to get in the room because it's his duty to protect

this little girl for whatever reason, and we do hear little noises.

[GASPING]

Sounds like Slimer from the Ghostbusters cartoon.

And we hear a little sneeze, and then a little portal sort of opens up in the wall like a

mouse hole, and rips open.

And a little troll comes out, kind of.

Now, what did you think here?

You've been watching this film.

The first segment was dark and twisted.

It's a paranoia.

Yeah, strange, when it's in for your lives.

You know, gangster bosses, and then we got this.

What tell me? How did you feel when you saw the troll?

I enjoyed this one, I think, the most because of this little thing, this little monster thing,

because it made it feel like a horror movie.

Yeah, yeah.

You were more, they were horror, but it's more psychological.

This was a little monster, it was a threat, and a little girl, and the cat trying to protect it.

There's a lot more going on here, there's a story.

This is the strongest story.

On the Twilight Zone, the end story on there is the strongest story, in my opinion.

But that's obviously my opinion also, why they are the last stories.

I agree.

You don't want to go out with fucking something limp-risted.

No.

Is it a bit...

Nip biscuit.

Nip biscuit.

Is it a bit just not...

Well, strongly handled.

This segment, because of those things you've just mentioned, the cat, true bioromor, a little supernatural creature,

feels very Spielbergian, doesn't it?

I suppose it's because true bioromor isn't as well, but it feels a bit poltergeisty,

a bit sort of...

It's almost a bit like the gate as well, which I love.

Yeah.

So this troll comes out, it climbs up to the budgie, and we don't see it, but it eats the budgie.

The cat manages to come inside the bedroom.

The troll's climbing up onto the bed, and it's starting to steal Drew Bioromor's breath.

It holds her nose.

It's great effects, actually.

Really good effects.

It's obviously a guy in a suit with large props for the bits where you don't see it interacting,

but it's a good...

I don't know how they did it.

I guess like a blue screen or something they would have done back then.

It looks good.

Oh, but a blue screen could be a rear view.

A rear view.

A rear view mirror.

A rear screen projection.

And obviously just falls perspective.

The cat manages...

It is done very well and creatively though.

Especially when it holds her nose.

When you see it pinch her nose, Drew Bioromor's nose actually looks like it's been pinched.

It's good.

Anyway, the cat manages to scare the troll.

The troll stabs the cat with its little dagger and wounds it quite badly.

It's got a little cut on it.

Amanda wakes up screaming, and obviously this wakes her parents up.

The troll runs back into the wall.

The parents come in the room and they see that the bird is dead.

They see that the window is open.

They blame the cat.

They see bloody footprints leading out.

Not knowing that that is the cat's own blood.

I know, in this story it does make you a guy.

Oh, mummy bitch.

Yeah, man.

He's never alone.

The cat's trying to do a good thing.

That's the good thing about this.

That's why it feels quite Spielbergian because you always get the kids that know what's actually going on.

The parents never believe them.

That's again in this story, isn't it?

The mum doesn't believe it.

The dad is in the middle somewhere.

Anyway, the morning time comes, having breakfast, and Drew Barrymore says, "It wasn't the cat that did it, mum.

It was a troll."

Dad's like, "What are you talking about?"

He picks up the cat and he does find a little cut on the cat and he thinks, "Well, this wasn't a bird that's cut this."

Dad's something...

He does actually have some concerns or surprise that the mum was still happy for the cat to be there because I thought she would have kicked it up the arse.

Well, you don't know if the mum's going to come around, but she doesn't because she actually then gets some cat food and does the old crate with a stick underneath it to let the cat get caught in a crate.

She then drives it over to a clinic, a cat shelter, and says to them, "Yeah, get this cat put down, please. Thanks very much."

Wow. Wow.

So, Amanda's there at night going, "General, general, come and get your milk."

General's not coming because he's about to take his last walk.

"Dead man walking, dead cat walking, Christopher walking."

Christopher walking.

Christopher walking.

Christopher walking.

Now, it's nighttime, there's no one to protect her. She's asleep in bed. The troll comes out of the wall.

The troll looks over to the window and thinks, "Bridgy at the window, shut. The cat's not coming in this time.

I'll finish the job of stealing this child's breath."

So, yeah, makes his way over to the bed.

It's great.

Giant props that they've got, that big dollies and books and building blocks and things.

It looks great and it climbs up onto the bed.

It blocks the door very cleverly using a door stop.

I'm turning it around the other way so the parents wouldn't be able to get in.

Fuck off. Fuck off.

If my child's in a room, there's a plastic fucking door stop.

The only thing, stop at door.

I'm getting in that door if my child is crying. I don't care if her little goopling's put like that. It would not stop me.

I mean, I've tried to get in my front door sometimes when there's been an Amazon parcel delivered and it's jammed under the door.

I can't get in, so my kids are fucked.

We're going to have a door competition and see if we can get in.

Come on, let's do it.

Me, you and Jack Nicholson, when he was in his form in the shining, who's going to...

You can break down the door first. I think Jack's going to win that one.

Yeah, probably.

So, the troll starts sealing Amanda's breath by pinching her nose and you see this effect of her breath being sucked into the troll.

It's almost like a drug for it.

The cat, though, manages to break into the window and it fights the troll because it's escaped, by the way, the cat escaped.

It fights the troll and they have a big old gnaw.

The troll jumps onto a helium balloon and it sort of floated up to the ceiling and then is floating back down and the cat's attacking it.

Amanda's going, "Get in, get in, General. Get in!"

And the cat manages to flick the troll into a fan as in a spinning fan.

Yeah, it's quite good.

I'm glad that it comes out of the end, then I'm going, "Oh, there's a little arm."

Well, yeah, because they come in and they break the door down and they go in.

They find the dagger, first of all, then they find an actual arm and a little bell and they think, "Fuck me, there really was a monster."

Which is cool, because these sort of movies, they never really...

You never get that ready to, apart from ET and stuff, you don't really ever get the parents find out the truth.

Yeah.

They always just think it was all a division.

They didn't find a really little knife as well.

Yeah, the little dagger.

They see the hole in the wall, she says, "That's where he kept coming out."

So, of course, they let her keep the cat, but they also say, "We will let you keep the cat if you promise to never, ever, ever, ever tell anybody about this troll thing."

Because you're going to sound crazy and we are too.

So they do. We get...

Yeah, it's the day.

Wonderful.

Yeah, it's the day that we had the internet and social media that could be all over on YouTube, making money off it and all sorts.

Troll, find his little troll's hand.

Yeah.

Then the cat just licks Drew's mouth.

Well, it eats a fish. It's very happy.

And then, yeah, you then think, "It's the cat going to steal her breath."

I think they're trying to sort of give you a bit of a red herring at the end here, but then all it does is lick her nose and she wakes up and goes, "Hey, general!"

And that's the end.

A colorful fish.

A red herring.

A colorful fish.

Fake fish.

That's what you called it.

Fake fish, I said.

For anyone who doesn't know or didn't hear, there was an episode a long time ago, years ago, where Gav was trying to remember the phrase "red herring," as we were describing the philosopher, but he said, "And this is a complete fake fish, isn't it?"

And I said, "What?"

It happened in the sun, Doc.

You know, fake fish.

And I said, "Do you mean a red herring?"

Yeah.

I can't help it. It just happened.

We love you.

We love you for it.

Still, it's a surprise, 10 years of talking to people, considering they weird.

We've all said weird stuff. I've told stories on here that I probably shouldn't have told.

I say words that don't exist.

I've told people about me shitting myself.

You've said loads of stories and every time you go, "Oh, I shouldn't say this." I suppose they probably don't miss it.

It's something I've got to do with that.

And I always say, "Eggin' you on."

As soon as I say, "Oh, I shouldn't really tell this story," you always, your eyes pop out here and go, "Go on! I know you're going to!"

It's always enjoyable, that's why.

So that was Cat Sign from 1985.

It is a lesser talked about, lesser scene of the anthologies, but it is a Stephen King one.

Fans of Stephen King will probably have seen it.

It's got James Wood, Drew Barrymore in it. It's got some good effects.

It's a bit of a mixed bag.

Let's talk about, let's put them in order, Gav.

What's the order of your top three best or worst stories here?

The number one is General.

No, let's get it every round. So I go worst to best.

So I'd probably go the ledge, then the cigarettes, then the Drew Barrymore.

And I'm with you all the way on those.

And I find the film it's okay. Do I recommend it?

If you like horror and you want something simple on a Sunday afternoon, maybe.

It feels very TV series, doesn't it?

It feels like these could have been episodes of Twilight Zone or something.

Yeah, there's better out of apologies.

As an adult, I actually recognise that the smoking story is actually the darkest of all of them,

and actually probably in some ways the scariest.

Yeah, it's very real life.

But with my nostalgia goggles on, yeah, it's still going to be the same order that you put them in.

So to somebody who hadn't seen it, you would recommend it.

Maybe if you're into horror movies. If you know horror movies don't bother.

But don't go all Friday night, let's get a pizza and watch that.

You know, I don't know.

Yeah, I've obviously got my nostalgia glasses on for this one.

I saw it the end of it anyway at a younger age.

But I do love it. I love it.

The middle bit isn't as good, but the first story and the last story are fantastic.

There is the reason it falls apart for me, with a reviewer's eyes.

There isn't really, the cat doesn't really tie these stories together.

Because that bit wasn't filmed or was cut out or well?

Yeah, the cat's really only relevant in the third story.

I suppose it's in the electrocution chamber in the first one,

but he could have put anything in there, chicken, I don't know, dog-humping, gab's leg.

But I don't know.

But yeah, I still recommend it. I think if you haven't seen it.

Me in the corner of the white eyes are fished with a bald dog humping me and me going,

not moving or not moving.

If you have a cigarette, Dan, we will send in a second dog, even hornier.

For the other leg.

Oh, never send a third. I've only got two legs.

Oh, boy.

And then we'll send them on came with a frog.

But yeah, if you haven't seen this, it's like a primeval sex toy.

Listen, if you haven't seen this, it's Stephen King who's written it, you know, you'll know the director.

And it's got James Woods in it.

That opening segment is really dark.

Things get a little bit lighter after that.

And it ends on almost a bit of a children's story at the end.

But I would recommend it and it's definitely a thumbs up from me.

I've just had horrible fall.

Someone's done.

Do you want to share it?

No, but someone's done.

No, but someone's done.

Probably, yeah.

Yeah, that's beautiful.

For everything you can think of, someone's done it.

Well, that's the worst thing, isn't it?

Yeah.

Awful, isn't it?

But anyway, that's enough about cat size and frog's mouth.

Right.

Talking of awful things happening with animals and other things.

Bill Murray, you're here.

You're ready to take us into the world of the strings.

Oh, Bill, is that a frog?

What's that he got?

What's he got?

He says it's a toad.

Oh, it's his acid toad.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Lick the back a bit?

I don't want to hang out with Bill Murray on acid.

Can you imagine?

All over the place.

Well, Bill Murray, it's time for all of the strings.

So if you could please, take it away.

Hi, welcome back to World of the Strings.

World of the Strings.

World of the Strings.

World of the Strings.

World of the Strings.

Well, thank you, Bill.

Thank you, Billie, Billie, Billie, Billie Murray.

Yeah.

Well...

Put the frog down.

This is going to be a little bit of a conversation here.

Boy.

It's kind of a list.

Give me my ideas now, then.

No, because...

Yeah, I know, frog.

Because we...

On the next one, we're covering this episode is The Twilight Zone movie, which has one of

the most infamous deaths on a film set in Hollywood history, in film history probably.

Because of that, I have a list of deaths either on camera or on set and related to that that

have happened over the last many, many years in film making.

This is probably another little trigger warning because there's going to be some description

of injury and some of it happens to children as well.

Have you got a one in the twenties, right?

There's just three people drowned because it's that the war will go down.

I don't think that one's on this one, no.

Oh, that's crazy.

God, imagine that things were so different on good news.

There's a more than massive mountain than three people drowned.

It's surprising that people like Jackie Chan are still around because he legitimately, as

you know, does all of his own stunts and so do a lot of the Hong Kong stuntmen.

Well, he did get stuntmen who aren't here, so for my reasons.

Well, that's true.

But someone like Jackie Chan, and I know they do loads and loads of testing and checking.

He obviously has an eye for where his body needs to be at a certain point and can get to that

point.

So I think he probably actually has advantage over the average stuntmen.

Well, if we start with Jackie, I suppose.

But he does more properties, what you're saying?

Well, let's start with him, although he's obviously still alive, one of my biggest heroes.

There was a time he was filming a movie called Armor of God in the mid-80s, which was his

own march to Spielberg's Indiana Jones movies.

It's about a character called Asian Hawk who hunts for treasure around the world.

And he was in Hugo Slavia as it used to be called, filming.

And he had to do a scene where he jumped from a wall probably about 20 feet onto a tree.

And he had to grab the branch of the tree, swing with his own momentum, then flip off

the branch and land.

And he did that.

He did about four takes of it.

It wasn't happy because Jackie Chan's a perfectionist.

He wasn't happy with it.

You might not know this story, Gub.

That would be interesting for you.

So he decided to do another take.

This was a mistake because the last four takes had weakened the branch.

So he says, "I want one more."

Obviously he directs all of his own stuff.

He choreographs all of his own stuff.

He's the one-man show.

So he gets back up on the wall.

He jumps off the wall, swings onto the branch.

The branch snaps.

He falls about 20 feet and lands on a rock which punches his head.

Punchers his skull.

Oh my God.

Blood immediately squirts out of his ear, which is not a good sign.

And they're in the middle of the mountains in Yugoslavia.

What do they do?

They've got the world's biggest action star potentially at the time, who's got a rock embedded

in the back of his skull.

But they managed to get a doctor to fly out and meet them at a hospital nearby.

Jackie Chan undergoes brain surgery.

Because of that, he has a metal plate in the back of his head, which I have felt because I've met him.

He's tired.

When he hums or sings it vibrates and he demonstrated this to me and a few other people to put my finger on in his hair,

on the back of his head and he goes, "Mmmmmm."

And you can feel this little vibrating part of his head.

It's just mental.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Stop.

Shh.

Did you not know that this?

I never realised that today I'd be checked on a podcast where my co-host would be telling me about a celebrity

where he's rubbed the back of his metal plate in head while he hums to him.

Jackie comes to me.

I didn't know him.

I know that.

Yes.

The celebrity hummed away and you felt the head back of his head in his metal plate.

I've said you that picture.

It's not that it's...

I've not heard it on a podcast before.

I sent you that picture.

Didn't I?

The other day of me and him not I dug out.

Yeah.

I met him five times over the course of one year, actually.

Four in Hong Kong once in London.

Very...

It's until the restraining order was taken.

Yeah.

It's a long story, which I might tell on the podcast sometime.

But for now anyway, so yeah, because of that, he has a metal plate in the back of his head.

He also has quite a lot of hearing loss in one ear.

But just goes to show you, even with lots and lots of checks, things can still go wrong,

as we know, because we're covering Twilight Zone in the movie.

But also that is a whole story into itself.

So I'm going to begin to work my way down this list of stories and things that have happened

on set.

Some of these will shock you and I don't just mean you, Gavin, I mean you listeners and

some of these will just make you think, "How can that have happened?

Don't forget, some of these things happened so that laws could be brought in."

Things change.

We only ever improve and if we don't know that something's wrong or shouldn't be done, we

don't know.

But also some of these happened a long time ago.

Like I've just described this thing that happened in the 20s with people drowning.

Back then it just kind of happened, sadly.

But moving from Jackie Chan on to...

It's just very quickly.

It's not, we've gained knowledge of how to not die.

We already knew that.

We just didn't give a fuck and care about human life.

That's the issue.

Until they started getting charged and they'd be sent to prison, they went, "Oh, all right."

Well that ties nicely into our first one, which is Brandon Lee.

We've covered the Crow.

It's a fantastic film.

But obviously Brandon, he was killed towards the end of the production of the Crow movie.

He was basically on set a day when the weapons handler wasn't on set.

He was supposed to be stabbed with a fake knife.

It was his death scene that they were filming before being thrown out of the window.

They'd done most of the shot, but the director wasn't happy with it and he said they wanted

to try something different.

He said, "Why did we try you being shot instead?"

So they did a couple of takes of this.

One of those is in the film.

They did one shot though, sadly, where they'd forgotten to take out the old dummy rounds

from the previous shot.

So it actually fired an old dummy round like a bullet basically with the speed of a bullet

into Brandon Lee's stomach, which then I think severed his spine, ruptured his stomach.

And he was rushed to hospital, but was at night's dead on arrival at hospital.

And that shocked people because everybody knew Bruce Lee's son.

He was making a name for himself.

This Crow movie, it was going to be huge.

It was just that whole idea and Bruce Lee making one film into Dragon that was very,

very opened up a whole new world for him.

And it being very successful to then pass away after that.

And like with Crow, the Crow made Brandon Lee very well known and passed away after that.

And it makes the film, and we talked about this so I won't go over it too much, but

it makes the film that much more emotional because you know that he died making this

and it's a great legacy to leave behind.

Yeah, it's a crazy thing when an actual actor has passed away.

Like, "Pold God's free."

Or he's led during the Dark Knight.

Yeah, and I was an extra in that film.

Yeah.

I'd like to throw that in there.

But what this did was obviously it changed the laws.

The weapons hand has to be on set at all times.

Well, again, that should just be fucking obvious.

But it wasn't at the time because, and we'll come to this when we discuss the Twilight Zone movie,

directors had and still have a certain amount of power that they probably shouldn't have.

Yeah, no, it wasn't, if you're still then, they just decided to look the other way.

Yeah.

So because of that, the Brandon Lee is no longer with us, but they also brought in a new law

written specifically for this so that his legacy is also that he's to some extent protecting

other actors after his death.

But yes, so we all know about that one.

And you've got to say though about how that's still like a recent need of the Baldwin shooting.

Well, that's one of the things on my list.

It still happens unfortunately.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it's going to.

Is every once in a while going to happen if you got a firearm?

Well, it's, yeah, every so many years it's probably going to happen.

Well, let's talk about that now then, I guess.

So yes, Alec Baldwin on the set of the movie, A Western in 2021, a film called Rust.

He was rehearsing a scene where his character points a gun towards the camera, but he accidentally

pulled the trigger.

There were three people behind the camera.

So this is a rehearsal.

Two of the people got hit.

Cinematographer Helene Hutchins was hitting the chest.

She died on her way to hospital.

And the director, Joel Swayzer, was injured in his shoulder.

Yeah.

It's still kind of being looked at, really.

I don't really, I can't even talk about it that much, but it's at one point he was let

off, you know, but now he might still be being charged with involuntary manslaughter.

It wasn't weird.

It was very weird though, because like two weeks after that happened, he was literally

three miles up the road for me doing a live Instagram thing, walk around road going, I

wonder what sort of people live around here.

It was so bizarre.

I remember that.

Yeah.

Like, why is he just like now in England filming another movie because we've got a studio,

not far from here filming something.

And it's like, what the fuck?

Like, really?

As it stands, he has been cleared of involuntary manslaughter charges.

However, it's still being investigated to some extent.

He still is called in for questioning from time to time.

And they are looking at how this could have happened.

And basically another law has been brought in, which is even joining a rehearsal.

Actors aren't allowed to handle guns, things like that.

You know, it's got to be safe.

It's got to be really safe, man.

You can't do these sort of things.

Talking to guns, I'll move on to my next story.

An actor that no one would have heard of him sadly, called John Eric Kexham.

But he was 26 when he died.

He starred in something called Cover Up, which is an American action show.

It was going to be a big thing in the early 80s.

And in 1984, October, they were getting behind with their shooting schedule and everyone

was under pressure.

And he was told, look, he was told by the director, they were all sort of standing around

and he was told there's going to be a few more days on this.

I know we were supposed to have wrapped by that.

I'm already sorry.

And he sort of joked, can you believe this crap?

And he pulled his gun out of his holster, put it to his head and pulled the trigger.

I'm like, what do you think happened, Gove?

I forgot to say.

Yeah.

So it wasn't loaded with real bullets, but because he put it to the side of his head,

the dummy bullet hit with enough force.

Yeah, of course.

That is bone fragments lodged in his brain.

He had a severe hemorrhaging.

He was rushed to the Beverly Hills Medical Center.

They operate on his brain for five hours.

He went into a coma and then six days later, they pronounced him brain dead and they turned

off the live support machines.

Do I get it all?

Imagine that moment where he thought it'd be fun if I did that he was probably trying

to lighten the mood.

You thought, if I do this, it'd be funny, but he wasn't thinking.

And again, this is why these are actors are under pressure.

They're making these movies where they've got to remember these lines, this action, this

dialogue, this fight scenes and all this stuff.

Don't give them a live gun.

They're probably on cocaine in the 80s.

I'm not saying this guy was.

But that story is just awful, really.

Yeah.

But yeah, well, let's go swing it a back round to the dark night because as you may or may

not remember, somebody died making it and it wasn't Heath Ledger.

A stunt performer called Conway Wycliffe died.

Oh, I remember that.

Yeah.

He was rehearsing again a rehearsal.

One of the cars, one of the car chases in the films.

And it's where the scene of the bottom of the bill gets blown up.

And he was leaning out of the passenger car window filming another car.

So this guy was just filming another car as it ran parallel to him.

But his fellow stunt driver missed the turning at the end of the track.

Their vehicles collided with each other and then with a tree.

And he died instantly.

I'm assuming he was probably, if not beheaded, then had severe trauma because he's leaning

out of a really fast moving car holding a camera with another car inches from them.

And then they both hit each other and then hit a tree.

So it's probably not going to be.

Yeah.

That's just terrible.

It's one of those things though.

Like especially as a camera person, as I've filmed things before, it's the case of, oh,

pretty grab that.

Something's happening.

You know it would be good for a camera.

And you kind of forget what you're doing or where you are.

And you get so caught in the moment of being sure to focus in the camera and you're filming

it.

Then you stop and you're like, oh, my back's killing me.

Everything comes back.

It don't do not mean.

So yeah, I guess getting really carried away and just leaning out.

It makes you think how did some of these gorilla movies get made in the...

Well, you just go up in Australia and out maybe.

Yeah.

This is an ozz...

Ozz-poitation.

Ozz-poitation.

This isn't Hollywood or whatever.

Yeah.

I was very safe on that Batman film.

I was a prisoner in the boat.

So you were cuffed up.

Just sat around on a lot on Palmer's Studios.

Good.

So you weren't hanging out or moving vehicle or anything like that.

No.

The most dangerous thing I had to do is take my glasses off so I couldn't see very well.

That is pretty...

You're like Daphne from Scooby Doo when you take your glasses off.

What the hell am I?

I should see.

Yeah.

Jinkies, Dan.

I can't find my glasses.

They look bad in there.

What?

As I've got older, my eyes are getting better.

Yeah, which is one of those weird things.

Same here.

When was the last time you saw me wearing glasses?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, my...

I can like...

I have to put paper like...

I can see like quite well now.

I can actually probably watch a movie of a big enough screen TV about the glasses if

I'm too far away.

I used to wear them just for work and watching movies but I don't wear them anymore because

I've had them since I was 12.

That's weird.

I've only had glasses for about 15 years.

But my eyes are getting better.

It's very weird.

Apparently it does get better as you get older.

Yeah, it's totally okay.

Well, let's move on to our next movie which is Midnight Rider.

Probably haven't heard of this because they never finished making it.

There's an unfinished biopic about a blues musician called Greg Almond.

They only managed to do one day of filming in 2014 because a terrible thing happened

and which ended the production there and then on the first day.

Is this what I changed right?

Yes.

So the casting crew had begun filming a dream sequence where William Hertz, who's passed

the way himself now, lay on a metal bed on a railway bridge on the actual tracks over

the Alta Hammer River in Georgia.

Now fuck knows what they were thinking.

They obviously hadn't checked anything out but as they were filming they realized that

a freight train was coming down the tracks at them at a very high speed.

Now you'd think they would look at schedules or get the track shot off.

A producer fucked up.

Well basically they couldn't do much about it.

They all managed to try and get to safety but several of the crew were injured.

Obviously William Hertz got off the bed because he lived for many years after that but the

train hit the metal bed and parts of metal were fired everywhere.

One of the pieces of metal and shrapnel and paled camera assistant Sarah Jones.

Not only did it impale a gap it flew her into the train and she was toast.

So she was impaled and then the force of her being impaled.

Javelin turned to the front of the train.

It is man and she died instantly.

Oh my god.

There wouldn't have been a lot left.

Have you seen an American freight train?

Who went downflares?

Who went into prison?

They just stopped production.

I don't have any more to the story.

You're right.

Someone's fucked up there.

Absolutely.

That is like stand by me but real.

Do you know what I mean?

They're crossing bridge.

It's going to go back to the whole thing because no one actually can't walk because of

so many departments.

Which we're going to see and be speaking about.

It's pretty crazy.

Here's a movie from the 80s.

A very famous 80s movie that no one talks about a tragedy that happened within it but

that is Top Gun.

Everybody knows Top Gun and it's got these incredible aerobatic stunts and flight sequences.

We'd never seen anything like it because it was all real.

They are real pilots doing this.

However, sadly during filming of one of these stunts, one of the pilots called Art Shull

failed to recover from a spin.

So he's doing like a crazy spin in the plane.

And he couldn't get control of the plane and it crashed into the Pacific Ocean.

And to this day, they've never found the plane or the pilot.

So if I can...

It's a person in an aeroplane.

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

What the fuck?

And because of that, they were never ever able to determine the cause of the crash.

It's probably gone to a port in other land.

Bermuda Triangle Ship.

Italians.

But because of that, obviously Top Gun was dedicated to Art Shull's memory.

But people don't talk about that.

People don't realise that a man died.

That's pretty crazy.

Yeah, right.

Well, let's move on.

And not finding and recovering the aeroplane ship is even crazier.

Well let's move on from Tom Cruise to Daniel Radcliffe.

You're wondering where I'm going with this, aren't you?

Right.

Well, there was a stunt performer called David Holmes, who was...

Not John Holmes.

No, David Holmes.

He was Daniel Radcliffe's stunt double for the first six Harry Potter films.

Was.

He was testing a stunt...

A cunt sequence was going to say Jesus Christ.

That's a different Harry Potter movie, isn't it?

That is a chamber of secrets, aren't it?

That is.

Slipping my chamber of secrets.

Look at my philosopher's stone.

Oh, I don't know.

I can't...

I don't know their names, so I can't do it.

Do you want to be the prisoner of my Ask a Bann?

I guess so.

Holmes was testing...

David Holmes was testing his...

Yes, get back in.

He was testing a stunt sequence on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.

This stunt sequence is called a jerkback, where you have an explosion go off,

which is added later with effects.

And then the stunt person is on a cable, which jerks them back here to imitate the effects

of the blast.

You've seen it a million times.

However, Holmes was slammed into a wall after being jerked back, landed on a crash mount

underneath, and his neck was broken instantly.

Oh, God!

What, the force of the jerk?

Yes, he actually didn't die, do apologize, but he is completely paralyzed.

He is from the neck down, and is a wheelchair user.

Oh, he's not dead.

Right.

But the shit...

I beg it, I beg it, I'm compensated.

He does a podcast with Daniel Radcliffe, now, called Get This, Cunning Stunts, in which

they discuss and interview stunt performers from around the movie industry.

So he's kind of...

Making it as you really is correct.

Yeah.

But I love that name as well.

Welcome to another episode of Cunning Stunts.

How many times do you think they've said that and got it wrong?

I don't know if it's weird, but I've thought of these things before, if I was paralyzed

or if I was fucked up, what I'd do.

I'd already planned it in my head.

It's Christ.

What I'd do about it, well, I'd do it right if I was in that situation.

If that's a situation, I could be an artist.

I've thought of most things, even being deaf or blind, how I could still be creative.

I don't know why.

If you were paralyzed, don't worry.

There's lots of things I could do.

I'd look after you in a snowy cottage.

I'd get to write a book for me.

I'd get fucking like a super bar fight like Joe and family guy.

Yeah.

That guy, boy's in the hood in the wheelchair.

He's like, "I'll put a body."

He's like that.

Oh, I'd wear football shirts like him as well.

Be Ricky.

He's the guy that I'd want to fight the least, the guy in the wheelchair, because he is

so hench.

Yeah.

You can pump those wheels so fast.

He'd catch me.

Boom.

I'd do other things where I thought I was in a wheelchair.

I did so many things.

Like, fancy dress be well good.

This year, I'm going as fucking...

I can't help.

Takes his chance on mascara.

I'm going to be Francis.

Is it Francis?

Next year, I'm going as a darling.

But now I'm going to find a photo photo of a pot of two.

It's all right.

There's a few people in the wheelchair out there, but you know...

Well, there are, yeah.

Some of them might be listening.

If you are listening and you are in a wheelchair, guys, have you ever dressed up as anyone from

Friday 13th, part two, or a Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

Yeah.

I've actually seen...

Franklin.

I've actually seen there's a guy with one leg and he's got like an Instagram of every

year he dresses up as something amazing that he incorporates with.

One of them is a flamingo and he stands upside down with his crutches and his foot is the

flamingo's head.

Nice.

And it's just incredible.

This guy is so creative.

He's got a big grave in your situation.

We're talking of flamingos and other animals.

Let's move on to Australia where we're going to discuss something that was caught on film

that will never be seen because they destroyed the footage.

And I'm talking about Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter.

He loved him.

He loved animals.

They seemed to love him, apart from this one stingray.

In 2006, him and his crew were affirming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef

and all the animals that live within it and all the nature that goes on around it.

And him and his cameraman, Justin Lyons, went in a small raft into shallow waters and they

encountered him to get this.

An eight foot wide stingray.

That is phenomenal.

That's massive.

Eight foot wide stingray.

Why did he get in there?

He got the boat as close as he could.

He said, "I've got to see this thing swimming away.

We've got to capture the majesty of this thing swimming away."

But instead of moving along, the stingray took this as a threat and it attacked him,

taking his shadow because it would have only had a shadow looming over him from one of

its predators that he probably thought he was a tiger shark.

It's one of its natural predators.

Stingrays, though, they don't just, so they've got a barb on the end of their tail.

They don't just stab you once with it.

They can do around a hundred strikes a second.

How?

Like a tattoo needle?

Like a tattoo needle.

Yeah, like a tattoo needle.

So it did this to Steve Irwin and caught him right in the heart by chance, which also delivered

a fatal dose of venom into his heart and he was left lying there with a two inch wide

gash over his heart, which was full of venom.

He died not long after a few hours later and he was only 44 years old.

That was crazy.

I was in Australia that time because we were going to his zoo in Australia and he died

while I was there and I thought, "That's y'all.

It's crazy."

I still went to the zoo.

Obviously he wasn't there.

If you weren't there beforehand, Rubbin is ahead and he was humming to you.

I love the fact that we've got connections to the stories tonight.

I don't know, it's weird, isn't it?

I don't have a connection to the next story other than you and I are British.

I'm going to throw a story in there because I bet you haven't done it, but it's not accidental

it.

Well, it is accidental.

It didn't mean to happen, but it's not a cause of someone having a bullet and a go over.

It's Tommy Cooper.

That is my next story.

No way.

Yeah.

Oh, there you do.

That is the next one.

That's what I was saying.

The next one, I do have a connection to, well, only that I'm British and so are you.

So for anybody outside of the UK, Tommy Cooper was a very big British, comedian, magician,

entertainer, a very strange man in that he...

Have you seen it?

Yes.

Yes, I've seen it.

Way in.

He would come on stage and he had catchphrases and he would do some magic.

He wore a red face on his head and he was a very old character.

One of those characters was like Jimmy Sample, not that he was dodgy, but one of those characters

that could only really be in Britain in the '80s, really.

And he was appearing on Live From Her Majesty's in 1984, which was a variety show at her

London's theatre called Her Majesty's Theatre, but it's been broadcast live.

Now, my dad watched this live.

Really?

He was a big Tommy Cooper fan.

He remembers it.

His performance began with him doing his whole...

You're not that low.

You don't have the internet.

You're going to watch him be like, "What's happening?"

"What's happened?"

So, yeah, he started performing his magical stuff that he did, which is where he wears

a big gown and then he brings objects out of his gown and it's obviously been passed

to him through the curtain coming out of his cloak, but it's all very funny stuff, you

know.

And then it was supposed to be a bit where Jimmy Tarbuck, the host, was supposed to pop

out of the curtain and you'd sort of see him handing a ladder to him, which would kind

of give the gag away.

It was supposed to all sort of happen, but it didn't get to that point in the gag because

he started acting a little off and went a little pale and they sent a lady out, a female

assistant came on stage to check on him and make sure that he knew what his next bits

were that he's going to do.

When this lady came out on stage, he clutched his chest and fell to the ground and everybody

thought, "Oh, he's acting like he's in love.

He's sort of fell down and the curtains quickly closed over him."

I kind of pulled him in a bit.

Palled him inside and it turns out he suffered a massive heart attack, live on television.

He just dropped dead and you can see it on YouTube if you're really so inclined.

He died in the ambulance on the wait hospitals at the age of 63.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've seen it.

Like I said, my dad...

Sort of live, crazy.

I spent...

I've asked my folks probably do it as well because back in the day, it wasn't much on

telly.

Everybody watched the same shit.

Yeah.

I didn't go into work the next day to discuss that.

What do I mean?

It's like to talk about, I suppose.

Well, I've got three more and then we're done.

But I thought this was a really interesting topic and quite mind-blowing at the time.

So there's another one to talk about here then.

I don't know if you remember a show called Sliders, Science Fiction Show.

About people who jumped three different dimensions.

It was on BBC2 in the UK.

In the 90s, '96.

Jonathan Reece Davies was in a Gerry O'Connell.

And there was a 27-year-old actor in it called Ken Stedman who was in it from time to time

with a guest starring role.

He had been in NYPD Blue, Baywatch.

He was kind of trying to make a name for himself.

And in this one scene, him and one of his female colleague actors were in a June buggy

driving along.

He had to be a bit of a tough guy in this.

It was all set on a desert planet, this scene.

And the vehicle had seat belts.

However, him and his lady colleague forgot to fasten their seat belts.

They did the scene, but they lost control of the June buggy.

He completely flipped over.

Now the lady walked away with two cuts and one bruise, but he died instantly.

His head was completely crashed.

All because they'd forgotten to fasten seat belts.

Again, they're making a TV show.

They might not have the budget, the production, the slickness of a Hollywood film.

They wouldn't have any money there to go.

If you got your seat belts on, which sounds like a silly thing to say, but it would have

potentially saved his life.

And all the way back to 1923, and this isn't the one that you talked about earlier, this

is a lady called Martha Mansfield.

She was making a film called The Warrens of Virginia, which was a civil war set romance

about a soldier who falls in love with a southern woman.

And they got through the entire movie and the last shot, they got the last shot brilliant.

Fantastic.

She was happy with that.

She was so happy to have finished filming.

She still had her costume on.

She jumped in the car with her friends, which were nearby, and they all just decided to

celebrate with a cigarette.

However, her costume was highly flammable.

Oh, shit.

And as soon as the match was lit, she was completely engulfed in flames.

She managed to jump out of the car and roll around and her...

Stops, drop and roll.

Yep.

Her male colleague, actor, buddy, threw his coat on her and tried to put her out.

They did put the fire out, but she was rushed to her nearby hospital and sadly died within

a couple of hours of severe burns all over her body.

God, the pain.

And as soon as you cut these days, you get them out of the costume, you get them out

of the makeup, the prosthetics, whatever it is, you get them safely away from the set.

And why was it so flammable?

Because 1923.

But what purpose did that show you for the film?

It would have just been the material used in the...

Think of the 80s with the shell suit.

Yeah.

That thing went up like a bloody...

Do you know what I mean?

So there we go.

This last one is possibly one of the most shocking.

There is a...

I'm going to skip over the one about Deadpool 2, but just even his reason is Deadpool 2.

A stunt actor was killed by driving his motorcycle through a glass window.

It all went completely wrong.

But the last one I'm going to talk about is involving John Wayne.

1956.

Okay.

John Wayne made a movie called The Conqueror, where he played...

I think it's calm.

So a bit bad really, because he's an American guy playing a Mongolian guy.

So forget that kind of thing.

It happened.

But the movie has quite a deadly legacy because it was filmed in Utah.

Utah Saints, Utah Saints.

And it was filmed within spitting distance of a nuclear weapons test site.

No.

No.

Yes.

Radiation.

91 crew members developed cancer over the following years.

Wow.

46 of them, including John Wayne himself, died from stomach cancer at the age of 72 when

he died.

And they put it all down to spending months filming downwind from this nuclear test site

because 91 people got cancer.

Is that a film a site that can be seen?

Yeah, yes.

It's called The Conqueror 1956, The Conqueror.

91 people.

And obviously it was an instant, but they've realized over the years these people were all

catching.

You don't catch cancer.

These people were getting cancer because they'd been filming downwind of this nuclear test

site.

It's just insane, isn't it?

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

And the trouble is though, it's the same thing again though.

If a worker goes, "Oh Barry, don't know if we should be working so close to a radiation

site out there, but what we could do about it, yeah, right, you want to keep your job

done, yeah?"

And back then as well, people weren't educated enough to probably know that you can get cancer

if you're around radioactive substances.

Well, that leads us on to Vic Morrow.

No, we can discuss this segment or we can discuss this when we get to the meeting.

Well, I'd say to him when we get to it.

Let's do that then.

So, yeah, Vic Morrow, Twilight Zone, the movie, we will discuss that during the review.

But sorry that was a bit of a downbeat one, Gav.

But I think it's interesting to discuss just how inept film sets can be at times.

Yeah.

Well, we will have his discussion again in the moment.

Yeah, and not just film sets.

Some of these weren't accidents.

Some of these were a heart attack or a stingray that just so happened to attack someone.

And in the workplace, these things happen.

I believe a segment in whatever they're called, the guys with the white tiger in Vegas, but

didn't one of them get eaten by the tiger in front of an audience?

Something like that.

Yeah, so these things happen crazy times, but Bill, you're looking sad over there.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry.

You've got through all the movies you've made.

Ghostbusters.

I'm going to say that if you ever come to me, sorry, Bill, hang on.

If you ever come to me and you say, "I've got us a gig," we're going to wear white suits

and have a white tiger on a podium and we're going to perform with it.

I'll secondly be scared of what the performance is.

First, I'm going to say no.

We shouldn't do that with animals of such caliber.

Yeah, I've got us a gig in white suits, but it's not with the tiger.

It's with a frog and a monkey.

Did we do live commentary?

No.

They do a live commentary on us.

Well, the frog and the monkey.

I'm the frog.

I'm the monkey.

No, you're the frog.

I don't want to be the frog.

I said, "I want to be the frog."

And you said, "You want to be the monkey."

I don't want to be either of them.

Bill, it's gone crazy.

Takes out of her, please.

That's all the time we've got for this week.

I'm where it was.

Next week, though, Kimmy Ira.

Hairless pets.

Weird.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

On June 24th, four acclaimed directors, George Miller, John Landis, Joe Dante, and Steven

Spielberg take you to another dimension.

The Twilight Zone from 1983.

Four horror and science fiction segments directed by four famous directors.

Oh, that's funny.

Well, I was being done by directors by four famous, not directors.

Each of them being a new version of a classic story from Rod Stirling's landmark television

series.

That's a terrible right up there.

But basically, it's four stories of the original TV show redone by directors who were

big at the year of '84.

'83.

'83.

Yes.

Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, George Miller, and of course, what was the other director

of John Landis?

John Landis.

John Landis.

So, we're going to get into that now, aren't we?

He's a very friendly person.

There he is.

Just don't go near ahead of the culture if he's around.

Yeah.

So, let's...

I guess the first thing to do really is just talk about the Twilight Zone, what the Twilight

Zone is, and then we'll get what we're going to do then, guys.

The way that we're going to break this down into three bits, I'm going to do a very brief

history of what the Twilight Zone is for anybody.

It doesn't know or any other.

It's interested them.

We're going to talk about the incident and how that's affected Hollywood and the directors

involved with this and other actors.

And then we're going to review the film because it is a film that needs good reviewing in

its own right.

But...

Well, did you know, because this is Rod Serlin, who was sort of the creative behind this,

did you know that he's the amateur inventor?

Yes, it did.

And his hot dog shaped burger didn't catch on.

I heard.

I didn't get that.

It's a hot dog length, like a rectangle, like a length, but it'd be a burger, patty.

I don't know.

I don't know the shape of a hot dog.

A hot dog's cool because it's in that shape.

I don't want it in any other shape.

It's weird to have a long burger.

Yeah.

Well, let's talk about the brief history of the Twilight Zone.

It started, it was a TV show for anyone that doesn't know.

It started in 1959.

It was a staple of American television.

I imagine it fucking was.

Do you know what I mean?

Because some of them still now are really good.

Real good storytelling.

Creepy, scary.

Imagine that back of day, nothing on.

That would be the thing to watch.

It was black and white as well to start off with.

Basically, the stories were science fiction, fantasy, dystopian, horror, supernatural,

black comedy.

Do you know what sort of time of day ahead would have been relieved enough, eh?

It would have been evening, yeah.

It would have been shown at evenings.

It ran for five seasons from 1959 all the way through to 1964.

Did it play on UK TV?

I'm not sure if the original one did, but then it came back in the 80s for three new

seasons, which was 8586 and then a later one in 88.

And that played in the UK, so I do remember that being on the television occasionally.

Then they did another series in 2002, just one series, which ran up until 2003.

Then they did Jordan Peele, then got the rights in 2019.

And he did two seasons of it as well, 20 episodes in total.

Oh, really?

Well, they didn't do brilliantly.

I've never seen them.

I've never seen them.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'd like to sit down one day and work my way through everything because I've seen the

old episode here and there and they're fantastic.

And like you said, especially if there's old black and white ones, they are a staple.

And then obviously we got the movie, which we're going to be discussing in a moment.

So Twilight Zone was always a short and later a longer episode.

And that's where it started to fall down apparently because he used to run for about

half an hour and there was always a twist at the end or some kind of weird.

Half an hour is a nice sweet, sweet time.

That's for sure.

But as they got more popular, they tried to extend it to almost an hour.

Probably because they were putting adverts in.

Yeah, they couldn't quite feel the runtime and the stories weren't as good towards the

end.

So yeah, that's what the Twilight Zone is.

Everybody knows the music.

And it used to open with the guy.

I've got soundtrack to all its own.

The TV show soundtrack of vinyl is great.

You start off with that chilling couple of sentences.

You are not this door with a key of your imagination.

Beyond it is another dimension, a dimension of sound, sight and a dimension of your mind.

You move into a land of shadows and substance of things and ideas you've just crossed into

that Twilight Zone.

I mean, if that doesn't get you goosebumps up in the '60s when you're watching this

and Jesus, man, you know what I mean?

Just awesome now.

So yeah, we've got those four directors.

So Joe Dante, John Landis, George Miller, Steven Spielberg, they all directed a segment

each.

There's an opening and a closing with that an accurate in it.

You've got a lot of good actors in this, which again will come to as we work our way

through it.

However, tragedy struck.

We've alluded to this throughout and sure you guys probably know are listening.

But if not, we are now going to talk about what happened filming the first segment to

the actor Vic Morrow and two children.

Yeah, we're just going to quickly go for it now and then we can just go through the stories

of the film rather than have this into it because it's not generally a movie recover

has three people be beheaded by a rotary blade or whatever it was from the helicopter.

It's just insane.

Yeah, so Joe John Landis, we love his work.

But he is a bit of a dick because I think it was slightly reckless.

Reckless that it changed up until this incident.

Directors had ultimate power and that shouldn't be the case because they don't know about

safety regulations and firearms and helicopters and stunts and all this other business.

But this is the guy who was fresh off of making American world in London.

He was a hot shit.

He did Animal House.

And I'm not saying, you know, we always talk about 80s Coke, but these sort of things are

flying around in the 80s.

People's power was going to their head.

Hollywood was hitting a new high.

These four directors are coming together.

There was probably a lot of hype around this and he was filming his opening segment.

It's of the early 80s, especially in America, more than England, very rock and roll.

Well, it was around the world.

We looked at the mid 70s, early 80s in Australia and there's stunt people and just the way

it was.

It was really like fucking, we don't give a shit that's just fucking try.

Let's just go for it.

Come on, let's just fucking do it.

Mentality, without thinking of consequences at times.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I mean, the story we'll get into when we review the film, but essentially what happened

was there were some signs that he was, John Landis was getting a bit big for his own boots

because apparently, in one scene, he insisted on live rounds in machine guns in this scene

which takes place during the Vietnam War where these guys, he made all these actors fire their

live ammunition from machine guns, not just guns, machine guns into a load of foliage,

a load of Bracken, as Gav would say.

Now, firstly, there's some danger there, right?

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

M16 assault rifles been fired into foliage just for the sake of cinema.

Yeah, it's not needed.

You don't need that?

No.

It is.

It is one of these things like a specialist, a director, and the pressure that goes on.

And that sort of thing where it's time sensitive, we've got to go, we've got to go, we've got

to keep it as cheap as we can, we've got to do it as quick as we can.

And that whole pressure thing and making decisions.

But yeah, it's just a catalyst, everything, like the whole production thing here, like

apparently John Landis was to say to people, "Look, just tell the fire chief who is also

like the person that looks after the children's welfare.

Just hide the kids when he's around.

Don't let him know."

Because they were being paid, I suppose, they also, under the table, cash in hand, the

parents were told, they were said, "Is it a dangerous stunt?"

They were told, "No, fit my rose about to do this stunt."

And he's like, "I'm crazy for doing this."

This is just absolutely insane, like what he had to do.

He'd already had a promotion years ago that he was going to die in a helicopter accident.

Yeah, which is weird.

John Landis was just like, "Fucking, just fucking go for it.

Come on."

So, someone said to God, "That was just crazy what happened."

John Landis said, "You haven't seen nothing yet."

Yep.

There's so much going on, and you can just tell from the pressure, like, we had the smallest

amount of pressure in Star Wars when we did the Sanci Moon YouTube check it out now.

That night, because everyone was getting very cold.

The point was, I don't want someone to get high-perfirm it or something, shit, but

lying on the floor.

So, we had to keep going.

That wasn't even that bad.

No one was going to actually die.

This is what they're doing 300 times that, and that itself is a bit like a fucking hell.

But can you imagine that sort of scene?

But if they're doing it not correctly, because the kids weren't supposed to be there, it's

not shoes.

The kids aren't supposed to do that.

They're young kids.

They should be three o'clock, four o'clock, that's them done.

Yeah, so to paint the picture, this was all part of a deleted scene from the opening segment

where Vic Morrow's character saves some Vietnamese children.

It's all part of his character's redemption because he's a terrible, bigger and racist.

And again, we'll cover this properly when we do the story.

So this scene involved him saving a Vietnamese boy and girl in a river from enemy fire from

a helicopter.

So yeah, they did a couple of tests.

They made some explosions.

Like Gavs just said, he said, "If you think that was big, you ain't seen nothing.

Yeah."

He basically paid these children under the table or paid their parents under the table

so that they didn't have to, so that they could work.

He said, "This is only going to work if we shoot it at midnight or one in the morning."

So he had these children up really late.

And they were really obviously close to explosives.

And the helicopter, Vic Morrow was a very well established actor.

And the helicopter pilot kept saying, "I don't have a good feeling about this.

I sort of want these explosions sort of rock the helicopter a bit too much for me."

Obviously the director's like, "No, I don't care.

I'm the director.

Keep going.

We're going to do it again."

So sadly, one of the last time, it was the last time, the explosions were so real that

they did rock the helicopter as Vic Morrow picked up one of the children under each arm.

And it tipped over and landed rotors first on the three of them.

Now the first people to run over were John Landis and his assistant and a couple of other

people then started coming over because obviously this look like people could potentially be

hurt.

Apparently Vic Morrow's headless torso bobbed out of the water.

Now we should again issue that trigger warning for some of the things I wanted to describe.

And they just shoved it aside thinking it was a prop that had fallen out of the helicopter.

They then saw his head separated from it and realized, "Okay, something's gone wrong."

Then they found sadly one of the children had been beheaded by the helicopter.

The other child actually wasn't beheaded.

They were crushed and killed by the helicopter.

So for the sake of a shot, he's killed a man and two children, two children that weren't

even insured.

They were being paid illegally under the table.

They were working out of the hours.

Children who only allowed to work until something like 6pm in Hollywood.

And this was midnight maybe later.

And these two children were so, so young.

I believe they were 9 and 10 or something.

Because of that, Spielberg didn't want to be associated with this, but he'd already filmed

a lot of his segment.

And his association to John Landis completely went.

Yeah.

And actually a lot of people in Hollywood cut ties with him.

And then his behavior afterwards was insane, Gav.

You know, he went to the children's funeral and gave a eulogy at Vic Morrow's funeral.

And said about film will last forever.

Yeah.

And stuff basically saying like, you know, because obviously Vic's on the film.

I personally was kind of disgusted that the episode was ever even released.

And I know why because they've all put all the money into it.

So we've got to do it.

And it'd be the studio saying that and looking at their bank balances.

I think the episode should have just been it should have just been the free episodes

or the free episodes would put out as TV like a TV movie, special or something like that.

I guess it's deemed a massive thing at the time because who is involved on a cinematic

scale rather than the television scale.

But it just the episode should have gone out.

It's just disgusting.

Landis spent the next five years in and out of court because him and four of the crew members

were standing trial for involuntary manslaughter.

They're ultimately acquitted.

But like I say, he has lost a lot of respect from a lot of people.

I am someone that can separate the art from the artist.

I love some of John Nantes's movies, a lot of them.

But his behavior was crazy around this.

Eddie Murphy famously worked with him in Beverly Hills Cop but said in the future there's more

he actually said there's more chance of Vic Morrow working with John Nantes again than

me, which is a very nasty thing.

He was top cop for three.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's a tragedy.

But the silver lining thing that came out of this similar to some of the other things we

discussed in one of the strangest, they scrutinized and changed the laws so much now.

So that particularly children are protected but also actors, stunt performers.

Well, you'd like to think people have got some fucking common sense and they're not

just thinking out their fucking arse, not thinking it's for the picture darling.

But also, I love Spielberg, he's my favorite director of all time, but there were times

on the set of Jules that he pushed the levels of health and safety because back then directors

were this all powerful thing.

Hollywood films were making so much money that they were allowed to just play in their

playground and go crazy.

And it's probably happened on thousands of other films, if not at least hundreds.

But this is one of the most tragic ones.

I've seen the footage, Gavin, I know you have as well.

I wouldn't recommend it.

You don't really see any bodies or anything properly, but you do see the helicopter land

on what you know is a real man and two real children.

They could have just had dummies under their arms, which he apparently asked for because

a bit more of it said, yeah, I'm getting tired, picking these kids up.

I can barely pick up my two and a half year olds, but picking up a nine and a ten year

old and running through water with them with a helicopter over your head and explosions

going off.

You're not a stuntman.

And it's going to look like a shit performance.

If you haven't made that to Cisco, oh, trying to get through water, it's going to look rubbish.

So it's dummies, but they said no.

It's just so ridiculous as well because it'd be like, yeah, just have dummies.

It'd be quicker.

We'd get the job done easier.

Don't worry about it.

It's just fucking sometimes maybe sets are just ridiculous.

Too much money for us in the sense most of time.

But obviously not here, really, because otherwise why did he do this?

Was it because he could speed through the production and get it done quicker?

Or why didn't he go through the right channels?

Surely they could have had children there, but I bet it would have cost a shit ton more

to go through the right channels and having children there at night doing a stunt like

that.

And the insurance would have been fucking crazy.

I bet.

And ultimately, while they cut it, it's probably just trying to get away from paying so much.

Ultimately, I don't even think it was saving money.

I think it was because I can.

I've got the power and I'm going to do it.

And he's getting a kick out of, you know, because he could have filmed that in a studio.

He could have filmed that in the day.

They could have shot day for night.

They could have done a bunch of things.

They could have done it.

John Landis is a very big personality.

He's that sort of person walks in a room.

It's me.

I'm John Landis.

You imagine the same sort of thing, not comparing him to Harvey Weinstein, but imagine the same

sort of thing of why he's seen him walked into a room or Johnny Depp or something like that.

He, you know, John Landis does have that because of all the people he's worked with and the

stuff that he's done.

And he continues to work to this day.

He does.

In fact, in fact, one of his films he produced was called To Kill a Child randomly.

Bit old.

But it's not much better.

Yeah, he's done some not very nice pleasant things.

Yeah, he's not exactly in the me to camp being like to see.

So, well, that is the dark side of this movie.

But there are, it is a fun film at times.

It's hard to watch the first segment.

We are going to talk about it.

Well, the trouble is because of this, John Spielberg was just like, fuck that, and didn't

want to do any post-what-so-ever.

Yeah, I bought it because of that.

Just cut out of it and just left people just to finish the film.

He's like, yeah, whatever.

So you're kind of starting to get like the second story is a bit like, it's all right.

And that's it.

Spielberg's.

But it has a touch, but it's just not there.

It's not.

Spielberg's story is the weakest in this.

Yeah, that might be all so short.

Which is crazy because I might be also short form though.

Some people can't be short form like Ty West, not very good short form.

But then we've also got Joe Dante directing one of my favourite segments towards the end.

Everybody knows Joe Dante.

Love his work.

Not crazy that George Miller, Mr. Mad Max, who's got another Mad Max movie coming out soon,

Furiosa, which the trailer looks amazing.

He directed the final segment.

So I'm actually wrong.

It was George Miller who just dropped everything in post because he was so disgusted by what

happened.

Apparently Spielberg was on set the day that they fired live ammunition and he ran away.

He said, I don't want to be involved with this and he ran off.

He had the power to say something or do something.

So I don't think it's just obviously Landis is the main villain here.

It seems to be too many cooks.

Yep.

Too much going on.

And this is what happens with multiple directors on a film, especially it sounds good on paper.

Let's get all these guys together.

These days that might be all right with all the health and safety checks and everything.

But back then, a bit crazy really, a bit crazy.

It wasn't like they were making a low budget sort of creep show type movie.

This was pretty big budget.

Sometimes I'm making films and that.

I know how sometimes it's like I said, the camera man being so focused and so in there

the rest of the world doesn't exist at that moment.

Well, the amount of times that one of us saved a dead on the set of Sanctuary Moon, who

was about to trip over something or fall backwards, a couple of nasty, you know, some retreats,

stumps and stuff.

You just have absorbed.

Yeah.

And I totally understand it.

But sometimes though, health and safety, it just has to prevail and just like go look,

this is not, come on somebody.

We're not looking at this picture everybody.

Ben was freaked out when I say Sanctuary Moon.

And I remember the wooden trap, sport traps.

It's a freaked out and easy was it even anywhere near that when he was so freaked out.

I know he kept out everybody to be careful.

Don't go near the spikes.

Yeah, I made.

Yeah.

But look, that's the dark side of Twilight Zone.

We talked about the directors and it's got a really stacked cast as well.

It's obviously got a rapper round.

So it's got your opening in your neck.

It's not got a rap.

Racking's not in this.

It was surprisingly if that act could wrap to that though.

I would have loved it.

He would have done your rap.

Right.

We could read each other's minds, can't we?

All right, well let's do this.

Let's get into it, Gavin.

Twilight Zone, the movie.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You start off.

You are now in Twilight Zone.

I should probably mention similar to your American World for London story.

I couldn't get past this scene.

I had to see this film in bits when I was a kid because as soon as it got to the, you

want to see something scary, that face.

I couldn't remember it.

So don't watch this again.

I said, my dad, I don't want to see this anymore.

I've actually got this on videotape.

I couldn't remember that.

I could only remember the Adam Green and Joe Lynch did the Road to Fright Fest, which

you could probably find on YouTube, I guess.

And they actually copied this and it was pretty funny actually.

It was that.

And then I managed to get, after a couple of times I got through that and I was very young.

I was probably 10 or something.

It was on television in my parents.

Let me stay up late or something at school holidays.

And then eventually I got to the segment, the Joe Dante segment.

I couldn't get through that.

So I managed to make it quite a way through the film.

It wasn't until I was much older that I managed to sit through the entire thing.

And now I'm like, I really enjoy it.

I think it's great.

And then obviously when the internet came out and YouTube and IMDb, I then found out all

the backstory on this film, which now made me think of it in a different way.

But yeah, it took me a long time to get through this film as a young boy into teenager because

of certain scenes.

So it definitely got under my skin a bit, but we'll come to these segments as we talk about.

So yeah, we start off on the highway at night.

Beautiful song playing.

CCR, come on.

Yes, I'm in that special.

We've got Dan Aykroyd, and Albert Brooks is driving along.

And they're singing along to this song.

They're enjoying it.

And I think if I'm right, Dan Aykroyd has been picked up like a hitchhiker because they

don't seem to know each other that well.

And they're singing and then suddenly the tape chews up.

This is something that you youngsters might not be aware of, girl, for a tape getting

chewed up.

Yeah, that's a fun show.

Used to be so annoying when that happened.

Oh boy.

But anyway, so they turn off the music and they start talking about things and telling

jokes.

And then Dan Aykroyd says, "Hey, you want to see something really scary?"

Actually, first of all, Albert Brooks says, "Do you want to see something scary?"

And he turns off the lights as he's driving.

Who directed this segment?

I don't know who directed the opening segments, actually.

I should probably see if I can find out if you know them.

I can look at it.

Yeah.

So he's driving along.

I had someone do this to me once.

My friend dawned at this to me once.

She turned off all the lights on her car when she was driving me along.

Oh, John Landers.

Ah, OK.

Interesting.

Yeah, it feels a bit landers here, I suppose.

So Dan Aykroyd's freaking out.

He's like, "Turn the lights on, we might hit something, we might go into a tree, might

go off the road."

So he's like, "All right, OK, sorry, sorry, sorry."

Then they start playing a game of like, "Guess this tune from this TV show?"

And it's all quite jovial until he says, "Hey."

Dan Aykroyd says, "Do you want to see something really scary?"

And his buddy's like, "Yeah, OK."

He's like, "Scare me.

Go on, scare me."

He's like, "All right, you need to pull over."

"What?

Just show me."

"No, no, no, I can't.

Pull over.

I need to really show you this."

And he says, "Go on then, what are you going to do?"

And he says, "Wait there."

He sort of turns away from him for a bit, and I'll what Brooks is like, "What's that?

What are you doing?"

And when he turns around, he's got this weird sort of zombie witch face, isn't he?

Yeah.

And he just strangles him to death.

But as a kid, that I did not expect that to happen, and I was instantly like running

out of the room, didn't want to see any more of this film.

That was the first five minutes.

I was like, "I'm done."

"I can't see any more."

It's definitely a good opening if you're a kid, for sure.

I can't handle it.

I was like that.

I had a friend that did that to me once.

I think I said about it before, but he pulled over and said, "Oh."

And I said, "Well, if you pulled over, it's literally in the middle of nowhere like this."

He said, "I'm going to kill you."

And it just went on for ages.

He just said, "No, I'm pulled over because I'm going to kill you."

And it really, like that whole time, really deadpan.

It was a bit weird.

The funny thing about this scene, and this is a shout out to our buddy, RJ McCready.

He always gets a mention from some way.

They parodied this in a TV show called Highway to Heaven, which I'm sure you remember, Gav.

-The line.

-Michael Andes is an angel that sent to Earth.

He's got a buddy called Marcus, a human who has to help him on his missions every week.

-What was his mission?

I can't remember.

-He just had to help people.

It's a bit like Quantum Leap.

He was an angel, and he'd move from town to town.

I'd all like the incredible hall he'd moved from town to town.

-Help me, hey, Tim.

-Help me, hey, Tim.

But because he was an angel, he had certain powers every week.

-I'd have a fact that all the TV shows in the 80s was about someone just going from town

to town helping people.

-Yeah.

Nightrider, street hall.

-It's your time.

-Everyone was just wandering around.

-Help me, Tim.

-Even just Jessica Fletcher, she was always...

-I might have crossed the streams.

-Yeah.

Jessica Fletcher, she's gone on holiday.

Someone's died.

She needs to investigate it.

-The apparent...

I think apparently there's a night rider murder she wrote.

-The sombre episode.

-No, no, I told you this.

It's Magnum.

Magnum meets Jessica Fletcher.

-Man, that's going to be my Christmas day.

-You've got to watch it.

-I've still seen him.

-I can't believe it.

-The funniest bit about it is he's Tom Selleck being the hunk that he is.

He's getting out of the shower in his hotel room, and he's only got a towel on.

-Imagine a photo he got it on.

-And Jessica Fletcher comes in and she's like, "Oh my word, I'm so sorry.

I thought this was my hotel room.

They've given me the key."

He's like, "No."

And then he says, "I'm Thomas Magnum."

And she's like, "Oh, Jessica Fletcher, nice to meet you."

And they have a little chat and then they sort of help each other on this case.

-I can't wait to watch that.

-It's so good.

It's so good.

-I'm not waiting for my birthday.

-But anyway, the reason I'm going to talk about this is because there's one scene, I

think it was a Halloween episode where Marcus and Michael Landis are driving along.

And he says to Marcus, "So the angel says, 'Hey, do you want to see something really

scary?'

And Marcus says, "Yeah, go on then."

So he says, "Pull over."

He does the whole thing.

And when he turns around, he's got Marcus's face and he's scared him with his own face.

But I remember watching that thinking, "Oh, they've parodied that film that I don't like."

So I wasn't even safe watching Highway 2 Heaven.

Oh, God.

But the reason I said this is because me and RJ were chatting about that recently and it's

good.

It was on Netflix and they took it all away from me before I could even get it started on

a...

-Oh, shit, I didn't even realize.

-Time it.

Anyway, so there we go.

So our first segment is called "Time out."

There's no cat in this one, so tie it all together.

But yeah, we cut to our first segment called "Time out."

We do get a voiceover for each one and this voiceover is telling us about Bill Connor,

who's played by Vic Morrow.

-And again, I feel like this episode, out of respect should have just been cut.

I mean, it's also got some terribly racist language in it, hasn't it?

-Yeah, it does go there.

Well, it is because of trying to put across how bad he is as a character.

-Yeah, so Vic Morrow enters this bar and he meets his friends and they're all having

drinks and he's really...

-And he's the guy from the thing with the jumper.

-And then the other mates, the fucking dude keeps getting it all wrong in Black Christmas.

-Flesio!

-F-E-N-A.

-He got it wrong again, Nash!

-So on Saxon.

-Hey, chief!

What's Flesio?

-Then the guy just laughing on time.

It's detective in the background.

-Wow, I can't wait.

-I've got my Blu-ray copy, I can't wait.

-Always watch that every year.

-Oh, wait.

-So good.

So yeah, Bill, Vic Morrow didn't get promoted in his new job, so he and his buddies are

having some drinks, drain their sorrows.

He started saying it was some Jewish bastard that got it, so you're thinking, "Oh, okay."

Not a nice thing to sort of say, but oh well.

Then a waitress comes over, quite a pretty young waitress and he says, "Hey, maybe you

can cheer me up."

And he sort of slaps her on the butt.

-Yes, it's not a good behavior.

-Then he then starts saying some really anti-Semitic words, which I won't say, about his Jewish

colleagues.

He then starts dropping the N word in there.

-The group of African Americans next door don't they?

-There's three black guys having a quiet drink next to him.

-Can you keep your own views to yourself, please?

-They're quite calm about it initially, aren't they?

But the whole bar starts noticing, she starts ranting and using all these slurs.

Basically saying that all the Jewish and black people get promoted above him, "I'm an American."

He keeps saying, "I'm a white American.

I should be," and he's really entitled.

He said, "I fought in Korea."

Then he starts using words about Koreans as well, and you're like, "Man, this guy is

a piece of shit."

He says, "I'm better than any N word, G word, or J word, because I'm an American."

The black guys lean over and they say, "Hey, buddy, could you, we're just trying to enjoy

a quiet drink here.

We don't want any trouble."

Basically, what they say to him is, "If you carry on saying that, we're going to fuck

you up."

But he doesn't listen to them.

He storms out screaming, "I'm an American."

-When he leaves the public house, he discovers he is in 1941.

He's in Nazi-occupied France.

Just before that, I do love how calm the black guys are, because when he storms out, they

go over to, well, they call over to his buddies and they go, "We're really sorry about your

buddy."

As in, "We're really sorry your friends with that piece of shit."

They're just so calm about it.

It's like, "Wow, these guys are the most chilled."

-Yes.

-Yes.

He somehow is being trapped.

-Well, but you've got to imagine that that was probably what they heard.

And daily basis continuously.

-I know.

-Shit, isn't it?

-That's why, here, just like, "Yes, just do this now if we're having a five-hour

last drink."

-But yes, but tomorrow is now in Nazi-occupied France during the war.

-Yes.

-How has this happened?

He is confused.

He doesn't understand.

Some Nazis pull up in their jeep.

-And I'll basically ask him for his papers, but he must be like, "Where's the fancy dress

party?"

I'm very confused.

Did they drop acid in my drink?

-He says to them, "I'm an American, but, you know, they start looking at his papers.

They start questioning him."

He doesn't understand them because he doesn't speak German.

So they take his wallet and they're querying his clothes because obviously he's wearing

to them futuristic clothing as well.

And he realizes, no matter how crazy this seems, this is real because they've got guns.

So he fights them off and he runs off, but they shoot at him and they shoot him in the

arm.

-So that's when he realized his office.

-He's like, "Fuck."

They call for reinforcements.

They're on the hunt now for what they think is a Jew who running around.

So he's hiding a bit while they start searching for him.

More and more Nazis arrive when they blow their little Nazi whistle.

That calls the Nazis if you do that.

-Is that a Nazi whistle?

-No, do it too much because they don't want him coming.

Do you think they're probably one of the most hated people ever, aren't they, Nazis?

They're just an absolute scum.

-Well, they only would are because there's so much media attention, photographs and evidence

of it on such a grand scale.

There was obviously previously in the history of a botanical...

-Tidrants.

-Tyranical.

-Tid...

-Yes, but because of media not being there to absorb and take in and let everybody see

it.

And Nazis is a very easy and quite...

Not...

I'm not going to say a cool word because that's obviously not what I want to say about the

word Nazi at all, but it's very quick, easy.

It's something you can do not mean.

Yeah, it's just proven it's still to our parents or our grandparents or whatever, you know,

still in culture.

-Yes.

-Well, there are other groups.

You're right.

We are going to meet some of them in a minute.

Some hooded gentlemen with white hoods will meet them in a minute.

But yeah, he says shot, he runs, he hides, he enters what he thinks is an abandoned building

and he comes across a German family who instantly dob him in.

They instantly call to the Nazis.

There's someone up here because they don't want any trouble and they know that if they

tell the Nazis, if they don't, they'll probably get accused of hiding him so they have to

tell them.

So she shacks up the window.

He manages to climb out onto another ledge.

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.

He climbs it on the ledge.

He's shot at and the Nazis are playing basically who can shoot as close to him as possible

while he's hanging onto this ledge of a building.

He manages, he falls and as he falls, he lands and wakes up in 1950s Alabama.

Oh boy.

-Where have the Ku Klux Klan that are surrounding him?

-Immediately calling him an N word.

-Yeah, so we find out that he is actually now a black person but like we see him still

as white person on screen but like his reflection would show him as a black person.

So this is like an episode of Quantum Neat Gone terribly wrong.

-Absolutely, that's the best explanation.

-They immediately call him the Emperor.

They timed to a state...

-Did that never happen to him?

-Oh yeah, I thought most of that.

-There was an episode...

-Like a woman, like a black woman even.

-There was an episode, well it's my favourite TV show of all time as I've said before but

there was one episode in the first season.

-It was a very good, innocent show wasn't it?

-There was one episode in the first season where he, obviously when he leaps, he doesn't

quite know he is, did he can look in the mirror?

So he turns into whoever he is and he walks into this cafe and he figures it's probably

around about the 50s here.

It sits down at the cafe at the bar and he says, "Oh can I get a coffee please?"

And everybody's looking at him disgustedly and then he hears all the southern accents

and he looks up in the mirror and he realise he's a black guy and he's just walked into

a diner, a white diner in order to coffee and that's when it says to be continued and

he's seen it.

-I haven't seen it, I used to enjoy it, I've seen it probably for like 30 years to be honest

with you.

Is it an action?

What was the thing that kept you going?

I know you had Ziggy on it on the old thing, but was it like an action pack thing?

What was it all more than just a drop?

-It was everything because Scott Bakula who played...

-I don't know what something is.

-He basically was an incredible actor, he can do martial arts, sing, dance, he's an

all-wanged actor really.

So every episode he got to play a disabled person, a black person, a woman, there was

one episode where he was leapt into the body of a chimp, loads of different things and

he got to play all these different scenarios and he obviously got to fix that person's

life.

It was like an aspect of the life where he...

-Oh, I'm going to be...

-So good, Gali.

-He has to watch it again, yeah.

-You're right, it is innocent, but it's so moving at times as well.

There's Vietnam episodes, because he can only leap into his own life, life's in time.

So from when he was born, which is like 52 or something to the current day, which is

set in the future, which was probably like the year 1999 when it came out.

But yeah, so he's leaping in this specific time period and he keeps going into all these

different things.

It's great, honestly.

-I've been good if I've been Chris for walking.

-That would have been nuts.

-Oh my God, I've let into a woman's body.

-Body.

Everybody when he's talking, they all be like...

-Why is it a gap?

-What's that gap?

-This is kind of strange.

Every word.

-Wow.

-Oh.

-They would be in there, it would be funny.

Anyway, so they tie him to the...

They tie him to the KKK.

They tie him to a stake and they start chanting, "Hang him, hang him."

He starts saying, "I'm a white man.

What are you doing?"

-So obviously, at this point, as an audience member, you've realised this is a lesson in

being not being a racist.

-Yeah.

-Basically a bigger...

-I don't say it often, but I would say this is a lesson in "Don't be a cunt."

-Yeah.

-Cunt lessons.

-Stunning cunts.

No, can't instance.

I said it the wrong way around.

I didn't even mean to do that.

Anyway, there's a fire.

Obviously, kicks off and he manages to escape.

-It's done.

-You know.

He manages to escape and they set the dogs after him.

So he jumps into a lake.

-That's a coffee table, Birkin.

-Carry on.

-Cunning stunts.

When he jumps into a lake to escape these KKK guys, and when he pops up at the other end

of the water, he is suddenly in Vietnam.

-Yeah.

-Join the war.

-What?

-He's going on.

-Yeah.

-So he sneaks through the jungle.

He sees a snake.

He sees an Vietnamese soldier with guns nearby.

He hears some rock music playing and he thinks, "Ah!

USA!

-It's a bit Jimi Hendrix.

-You're USA!

You're USA!

He thinks great.

They're here.

-But no.

They're not.

-But they see him.

They see him as a Vietnamese soldier, don't they?

-Yeah.

And just before this, they've just been shooting everything in a 360 radio bubble, like a 270

radius.

Just fire everything with the live ammo which John Anderson wanted.

-Make sure the plants get real bullets in them.

Why?

Because I'm John Landis.

Make sure-

-Because the audience at home are watching it and not going to see it.

So don't worry about it.

-But John, there's no such thing as real werewolf.

I want a real werewolf on this film set.

I want it.

-That'd be amazing behind the scenes fake mockumentary movie.

-Get me a werewolf.

-I know real werewolf.

And find me like, "I found one.

We've got one.

What?

Real werewolf?"

I've gone off that picture now.

-I've done something else now.

-Zombies.

Get me a zombie.

-Get me Dick Miller.

I need Dick Miller.

So they shoot at him thinking he's a Vietnamese soldier.

They throw a grenade at him and this launches him out of the water back into Nazi occupied

France.

-He is never going to be racist again.

-He is fucked.

He gets shot in the leg this time and he's realised now what's going on.

He's been a black guy in Alabama.

He's been a Vietnamese person during the war.

He's been a Jewish person during the Nazi's reign of terror and he's back there now.

And the last shot of him now is they put a star of David on him, which is what they

used to do to the Jews before they took them on the trains.

And actually, I'm not sure.

And I do apologise if just dropping the word Jew is not correct because I know in there

was an episode of it's always sending Philadelphia where they say about dropping a hard Jew.

They're apparently supposed to say the hard Jew.

You're supposed to say Jewish, not a Jew.

So I do apologise.

I've said that a couple of times.

But that's what they used to do to the Jewish prisoners of war.

They would put the star of David on their chest, then load them onto the freight train

to send them off to the concentration camps.

And he's on this train full of Jewish prisoners.

And he looks through the slats of the trainers.

It's pulling away.

And he sees the bar that he's come out of.

Thanks.

There's my buddies and they've come out going, Bill.

There's Nash getting it all wrong.

Bill.

Felatio.

He's just shouting, "Felatio."

There I know where Felatio Street is.

And he is taken off, I'll be assumed, to a concentration camp to meet his fate, whatever

that may be.

Now, obviously, there was a deleted scene, which probably wouldn't have added much to

the story of him saving two children in the jungle.

It would have maybe...

Well, it shows him redeeming the fact that he's not missing a race.

He's going to save his children.

Yeah.

But it definitely doesn't make me go.

If that was in the story, man, that story is well worth on people dying.

All it would have done was added a pretty cool looking helicopter stunt with explosions.

But for what it's worth, man, it wasn't worth what happened.

No, not at all.

And that's the end of segment one directed by John Landis, you naughty man who should

have followed the rules a little bit more, silly boy.

Then we move on to the weakest segment, in my opinion, the second segment, which is...

I never thought I'd say that from Spielberg.

He's my favourite, but it's not that great.

It feels like...

What's that movie with Steve Guttenberg?

Cacoon.

You know where the old people turn young?

It's a bit like that kind of thing.

It's very Spielberg, I suppose.

It's all very light and airy, fairy and harmless.

Yeah.

But I'm not really going to say much about this one.

I do think because of what happened, probably dead effect stuff.

Apparently, Spielberg did try to get a cancer.

I don't know if it is the whole production, but I presume at that point, so far, I've

gone so much money spent that they're just going to go, "No."

Surely, if you've got in short...

I don't know because of what happened.

I wonder how they go out of them.

I must have settled out of court.

But I imagine that Spielberg couldn't get it shut down, so the studios kept it going.

So I imagine that he probably went and did bare minimal for contractual reasons, or he

can't fuck around in that studio because he works for that studio.

It was the Universal by chance.

Sure.

It's me.

I'm not sure, actually, the studio for this one.

Oh, look it up.

But yeah, this is definitely the weakest one.

Essentially, guys, what happens in this one is there's a sunny, veil retirement home full

of OAPs, as we call them in the UK, old-aged pensioners, people who don't have anybody,

so they get put in an old person's home, and Scatman Crothers from The Shining, who's

a voiced Hong Kong-fuey, he is some kind of supernatural old person.

Vakri, sorry, it was one of brothers, and Amblin Entertainment, but uncredited.

Yes, of course.

So that means he took his name off for his company.

No surprise.

So Scatman Crothers centrally grants all the old people for one night the chance to turn

back to themselves at their prime, which was like they were all like 10, 11, 12, 13.

So they all go outside at night, and they all turn back into these younger versions

themselves.

They enjoy it, they enjoy it, they enjoy it.

He gives them a choice of, "You can either stay like this, or I can change you back when

you wake up in the morning, you'll be old again."

And they all say, "But if I stay like this, I have to go through puberty again, I have

to lose my parents again."

And they realize that although they've all really been longing to have their youth back,

they've actually lived a full life.

They've gained lots of life experiences, some of which they don't really want to go through

again.

Apart from one guy who didn't believe them, didn't go out, never became old, but he's

the one that learns the biggest lesson because he learns to cherish his life and not regret

that he's old.

It's not great, it doesn't feel like it belongs in this, which essentially is mainly horror.

Well, one thing is Spielberg, who wrote this?

Not sure who wrote this segment.

So this is "Keep the can."

Okay, let me...

It feels like Spielberg, definitely, but it's been done better by Ron Howard, who directed

"Cacoon," where the aliens give the old people the...

They don't make them kids, but they give them youth and strength and health.

And that's a much better film, and people might slate that film, but I really like Cacoon.

Anything with Steve Gutenberg.

Well, I just feel like Spielberg wasn't at a time old.

I don't know, he doesn't...

Of course he knows how to tell the story and get across a motion of different generations.

But I don't know if he's...

Maybe that's not the wrong way of looking at it.

I don't know what the problem is with it, because maybe it's a short film and he can't

get across that emotional pull that he gets from us with the operatic music we have going

on, or not operatic, or orchestral music we have going on.

And the way he pulls us over long periods of time to get really like love-e-t or whatever

and go along with the journey.

It's a real story, it's a real like adventure.

You come out of it, go, "Ah, amazing feeling good."

I think short form isn't Spielberg's forte.

I agree, I agree.

And it does look Spielberg.

It's shot with a very sort of loving...

I don't know how you describe that look, where it looks like the camera's a little blurrage.

You know what I mean?

It's got that kind of lovely hazy...

Vaseline on the old...

Yeah, Vaseline on the lens.

I love a bit of Vaseline on my lens.

But yeah, and at the end, "Scatman-crothers"

"Saving about boo boo boo boo, hey Danny, you gotta use the shining."

"So Christopher Milwaukee's getting..."

"Sending more like Bill Cosby, actually."

"No, man.

Imagine him turning up in the shining."

"Saving about fuck."

"Any film is going to be a horror film, Bill Cosby."

"I suppose they're being Cosby."

"Not being."

"Bing about it...

"Dreaming of a wise..."

"A DJeder."

"A DJed Thursday night.

"Our in 10 minutes, our 15 minutes, I played Christmas music."

And I was just like, "I'll play that one now."

At one point, I yawned and I looked down because I was like on this stage and someone had kind

of looked down and looked up, "Okay, here we go."

"E yawned to his wife."

"Oh, fuck you, no."

I was like, "Look away from your yawn gap."

"Cause this fucking board."

"Did you play Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You?"

"No, I don't think I did, actually."

"Oh, fuck you, no."

"I played traditionally old stuff, I was playing it because people didn't mingle in for the

first bit before I got them dancing."

"Very enough, very enough."

"Okay, so that's Spielberg segment, really."

"Yes, Catman Crothers, he moves on to another retirement home and he's clearly going to

weave his magic again."

"And that's that one, so sorry Speedy, but we're not going to discuss your segment too

much.

We're going to move now on to the Joe Dante segment."

"Dick Miller."

"Which is called It's a Good Life."

"I love this segment.

This is the one, another one that terrified me as a kid.

This is very Twilight Zone, very out there."

"I never liked this one as a kid.

It's the one that I only, this is the one and obviously the aeroplane one, but this one

mainly probably because of the cartoonishness of it, because it's Joe Dante.

It's the only one that I really remember, but I didn't like it because I think it creeped

me out.

I think you're right.

It didn't feel correct."

"The girl with the mouth really creeped me out.

The boy, the caradors, the house, stuck in the house."

"The power that the boys got over them, is he God?"

"I don't know, it's just like-"

"It's like he's God or the devil."

"Nice."

"No, no, but that's why I like this.

And also, you're right, let's talk about the cartoonish elements.

I feel like Joe Dante after this, I know he did Gremlins too and a few other bits with

the cartoonish stuff in them.

In fact, I think he directed the Looney Tunes movie with-"

What's his name?

Brendan Fraser.

So he would have- you can tell he was influenced by those Looney Tunes cartoons.

Maybe didn't come quite out so much in Gremlins, although parts of it maybe were.

But yeah, this is got a Joe Dante written all over it really.

Zany, Spooky, Dark, stuff that gets under your skin, but also takes

place in a family setting.

Yeah.

Yeah, so this is a good one.

Let's talk about this one then.

So we start off with Helen, our teacher.

Very, very sexy.

Oh, he's had a crush on her.

Oh, I've got to find a picture.

Helen, Helen, the teacher.

Okay.

She's driving along.

She pulls into a, like a cafe bar where you can buy, I don't know, anything really,

but I'm not a diner.

And who's working behind the bar?

Dick Miller, you're right.

Dick Miller, we need Dick Miller.

We all need a bit of Dick Miller in our lives.

Oh, a little bit of Dick.

And at Christmas, we all need a bit of Dick Mass.

Christmas Dick Mass.

I actually can get on with some Dick Mass.

So I'm going to watch Bill's saying again.

I like saying it.

Yeah, it's a good one.

So Dick Miller gives her directions.

She's on her way somewhere.

And she sees a boy called Anthony who's playing a video game in the bar.

And every time he loses a level on the game, the TV sort of hacks up a bit.

And the guys in the bar are sort of getting angry.

And then they realize it might be the kid that's doing it.

And the channels keep changing.

So eventually one of the guys who's getting grumpy.

She's okay.

I don't really.

Okay.

Look.

I don't have your child to crush your child or a boner.

Well, it's a manhood now.

Your child boner.

Oh, no, that sounds wrong.

A man to Christ.

We're going to get sent so do.

Anyway, this kid eventually, because he's annoying these guys so much because the TV keeps changing

channels, one of them pushes him a bit.

And he runs off the girl, the woman, Helen, teacher confronts these men and says, that

was a child.

What do you think you're doing?

So anyway, she leaves.

She says, nice time.

She gets back in a car with the directions to wherever she's headed.

And as she starts pulling out, she runs her car into the bike with a boy on it.

As she's pulling out.

Yep.

Hello.

And she offers him a ride home to apologize.

He's not hurt, but she offers us a ride home to apologize now.

Knowing what we know, you could probably say that he orchestrated this whole thing because

he wanted a new plaything.

But either way, we don't know that yet.

So they're driving along and they're driving quite far out of town.

And she says, oh, gosh, you live very far away, Anthony, don't you?

And he says to her, hey, you know, it's my birthday today.

And they pull up on this huge house in the middle of nowhere.

He says, why don't you come on in?

And she thinks, well, to be fair, A, it's your birthday.

B, I ran you over on your birthday.

So I should probably come in for a little bit and be nice to you.

And they walk inside the house and this is just, you're right.

It all feels so wrong, doesn't it?

And weird.

It's like a nightmare in here.

It's just, it's not right.

It is very much almost like you own them.

So we've got her sister played by Mark Simpson.

Nancy Cartwright.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't know that.

And she sat watching TV with their uncle.

They're watching cartoons on TV.

And that's all they seem to watch is cartoons on TV.

I don't think they have a choice, do they?

And then Mum and Dad come downstairs and they are all, it's like they've all done ecstasy.

They're all like, hello, Anthony.

You have to be so welcome.

We love you.

Welcome home.

We've missed you so much.

Who's your friend?

Hello.

And they're just, she's like, what the fuck is going on here?

Are they all acting so weird?

She says, Kevin McCarthy's the best.

The body snatchers.

Yeah.

He's good.

She says, oh, well, I thought I better come in because I actually hit him off his bike

and they all go, did you?

You can tell they're all a bit like, oh, that's good because we want him to get her.

What happened?

You were right, Anthony.

And I insist that she stays with dinner.

Yeah, I have some dinner.

Come on.

It's day.

Yeah.

So he says, well, let me give you a tour of my house and we'll go upstairs and wash up

for dinner.

So he takes her upstairs and while they're upstairs, they grab her handbag, don't they?

Yeah.

They stop rummaging through it.

They find some cigarettes, they smoke them.

Luckily, James Woods isn't there otherwise someone's getting electrocuted.

These are micro cigarettes.

They find out who she is and what she does.

She's a teacher, et cetera, et cetera.

So that's weird that that's all happening downstairs.

She's upstairs with Anthony walking around.

It's crazy sort of timber and style corridors and they seem to, it's almost like she's in

Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

All the corridors seem to shrink and grow around her and they walk into a room and there's

a girl sat far away at the other end watching TV and where they're back to them.

And she says, "Hello, hello."

And the girl doesn't turn around and he says, "Oh, that's my sister."

She was in an accident.

She works, she doesn't really speak.

And then we see that the girl has no mouth.

This bit was the bit where I turned it off.

Once I got a bit further, I was like, "No, I'm done.

This girl has no mouth.

I don't want to see any more of this film."

It's freaky.

Ready.

She doesn't have a mouth.

She was in an accident.

Anyway, they head back downstairs and Anthony smells the cigarette smoke.

He sort of glares at them all.

You can see because it's still in the air and he sort of goes and he looks at them and

they know they might be in trouble.

He glares at his sister and the hello and Anthony sit down and says, "Oh, let's watch

some cartoons."

And she's like, "Do you only ever watch cartoons?"

And he's like, "Yeah."

And they will say, "Yes, Anthony watches whatever he wants.

He gets whatever he wants.

State you, Anthony."

We give you everything.

And they say, "Why don't we have some birth?

They suffer."

It's in the oven, mother.

It's in the oven where it always is.

So she goes and gets to suffer.

And they bring out all these burgers and cakes and pizza, basically ice cream and every bit

of junk food you can imagine.

It takes Helen a while to figure out what the fuck kind of a dinner is this.

But then she's like, "Oh, it's your birth."

They have, "Oh, sorry."

I forgot that you'd be eating this kind of crap on your birthday.

And they're like, "Yes, he eats everything he wants on his birthday.

Don't you, Anthony?"

It's just...

They have a day, very much.

Sorry, very interrupting there.

I gave her a larger dinner and it was like a beef steak sort of thing.

I got a Yorkshire pudding, some broccoli, some chips because I had run up to his...

And he put a peds, emptied a peds container and put peds on his burger and on his food

and his Yorkshire pudding.

And I went, "Yeah, go for it."

I said, "Do you want gravy?"

He says, "No, I'm going to have peds."

So peds, if you don't know, obviously everyone knows peds.

A little sweets.

They put all sweets for his food and just ate them like that.

Quite happily.

I've got a photo of Phil sent us here.

At the age of two, my kids currently are just...

They don't really care what's dessert and what's mains and they just mix them together

sometimes.

Sometimes we'll give Edith especially.

Here's a yogurt or here's your jelly for dessert.

And she'll just start putting chips in it.

Yeah.

It's like, "Oh, well, you're eating it."

To be honest with you, I thought I should probably do that more, really.

Oh, yeah.

You can sometimes mix stuff and go, "That's actually pretty good."

Yeah.

If you ever want to taste what a child...

If you want to remember what a child's party tastes like...

That's a sweet meat, but that sounds wrong.

That's what wrong.

If you ever want...

There's a nostalgic vibe and a taste of being a children's party when you're a kid.

Put a...

Like a salted crisp or potato chip in your mouth and a piece of chocolate at the same

time.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That taste is just...

It's not too bad, actually.

Reminds you of being a kid and just eating everything at the same time.

Yeah.

And I've got...

And I've got chocolate and savoury.

Yeah, you're like, "Oh, well, I'm at a party.

I'm eating what's it?"

And I'm eating KitKat.

I'd probably eat a chocolate sausage roll.

You dirty man.

I'm going to start that.

People would fucking love it.

Chocolate and savoury.

They would.

So, you're a saturated fat, so it'd be fucking terrible.

So, Nancy Cartwright, Bart Simpson, complains at this point.

She's got the balls to say, "Have you told her it's your birthday?"

Not another birthday, Anthony, for God's sake.

And her plate suddenly flips over on its own at this.

And Helen decides at this point, "I think I'm going to leave now."

It's a good, good, good call.

However, he says, "No."

Anthony says, "Don't go.

Uncle Walt's going to do a trick, aren't you, Uncle Walt?"

No.

As a child, my heart started racing.

Once I got past the no magazine, I'm like, "Well, what the fuck?

What's the trick going to be?"

Because there's something about this film.

Do you want to see something scary?

Uncle Walt's going to do a trick.

You just think, "What is it going to be?

What's next?

What's the next scene?"

I had an uncle Walt.

He used to do a trick.

Oh, I don't want to know what he did.

I'm joking.

No, actually, I won't tell that story.

Uncle, I'm not going to tell that story.

I don't know.

You've conjured up for us, which people don't want to have.

You don't want to tell us the story, which we think it is.

Sorry, don't worry about it.

Don't speak ill of the dead.

Okay.

So Uncle Walt gets his magician's top hat and he starts giving it all the sort of, "Oh,

there's nothing in the hat.

There's nothing in the hat."

And they're all looking a bit scared because they've seen this trick before.

And Anthony's like, "Yeah, go on, Uncle Walt, do it."

And he pulls a rabbit out of the hat.

And she's like, "Wow, that's very clever.

I am going to go now."

He's like, "Wait, Uncle Walt, do more."

And this time, he pulls a gigantic, mutated, weird rabbit creature out of the hat, which

is like the Tasmanian devil.

Oh, this is what I've brought in the hat.

It's like the Tasmanian devil has had a baby with Bugs Bunny and one of the terrodogs.

The family, they just live in Vangzati 100% all day long, 24/7.

Yeah, because they're serving this child every week.

It's like Carrie.

Yeah.

They're living in this weird hell house, but he controls everything in.

It's very strange.

So the huge monster rabbit, he says to it, "Go away," it vanishes.

And he says to Helen, "Please don't go.

She's like, 'I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.'"

And he finds a note in her purse that one of them has written that says, "Antony is a

monster.

Please help us."

And he is so angry at this point.

He's like, "Which one of you wrote this?"

And the blame bar Simpson.

Yeah.

And he says, "Don't have a came man."

I mean, his sister says, "I can run, but remember when Bart used to say I can run, but he doesn't

say that anymore, does he?"

No, you don't know.

You don't watch him, Simpson.

I used to watch it when it was Bart Simpson, but now it's all about Homer and the rest of

wherever they live.

I used to love it back in the late 80s or early 90s when it was just about Bart.

Well, this is just about the Simpsons, not just Bart.

Yeah, but Bart was like the main attraction.

And then over the years, Homer has turned into the main attraction.

Yeah, but that was years ago.

I know.

I used to double-bill it every Thursday.

It used to be on followed by the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

So that's what you'd watch after school on a Thursday.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

And then, quantumly, it was a great day, Thursday.

Yeah.

Great day.

Where are we at?

Oh, yes.

But because Ethel, his sister, Bart Simpson, has written this note.

He manages her to cartoon Nan.

So she goes into the TV where she is basically eaten by a big giant cartoon dragon.

So Helen opens the door to try and get out.

There's a giant eyeball looking at her there, like the Twilight Zone intro.

And he says to her, "I can't help it, Helen.

Whatever I wish for just happens.

I want, I can have."

The TV splits open, a giant whirlwind comes out.

This big, slimer, creature, tells him any devil thing comes out.

Pretty good, practical effects.

It looks a bit like one of the killer claims from outer space, I suppose.

Which should have been a Joe Dante film, really.

Imagine if he'd have directed that.

Yeah.

That would have been pretty good.

He wishes, she says, "You need to wish it away."

She uses her teacher skills now, her teacher skills.

And she guides him, she says, "Wish it away."

And he does, he wishes it away.

And then they appear in the middle of this, just nothing.

And she says, "Where are we?"

He says, "We're nowhere, Helen.

We aren't anywhere."

That's pretty weak ended.

And she says, "You're special."

Now, this bit at the end can be interpreted in two ways.

He says, "You're special, but be careful with your powers.

I can help you master your powers.

I can be your teacher.

You can be my teacher."

And he's like, "All right, yeah, all right.

We'll do that."

Now, is that because she wants the power for herself?

Or is it because she fears him and she just wants to save herself and get out of there?

Or does she think he's some kind of like Messiah, some God?

And she can like...

I don't know.

It's not very strong ending.

Well, they reappear.

They get in the car.

They drive off through a beautiful meadow with flowers blooming.

That's it.

What a weekend.

I needed more Dick Miller in that one, Kev.

More dick would always have benefited the picture.

But overall, very uncomfortable viewing till the ending.

Yeah, yes.

Creepy.

That kid is creepy.

I...

When I'm watching this with a viewer though, so far, I haven't been blown away by the

latest movie.

And I love some of the Twilight Zone episodes of some cracking episodes.

But so far in the movie, no feast always.

It's all right.

But it's nothing amazing.

I think the first two, man, I don't even...

Obviously, they're a bit more of one.

I don't need...

And we're tainted from the accident, obviously, you know.

But if you didn't know that, you might enjoy the first one a bit.

But the second one is just like a dip in quality.

Yeah.

And then that's the third one, there's like, it's okay.

But this one though is really good.

It's my favourite episode.

I love this episode.

George Miller.

And William Chateau originally as John F. Code.

Yeah, so John Lithgow, who is a fantastic actor as well.

And this one is the famous Nightmare at 20,000 feet.

Wow.

Yeah.

Great little segment.

I just want to see all of this really, more and more of this.

This is like passenger 57, but...

I love movie set on airplanes.

Yeah, snakes on a plane.

Sane.

Air Force One.

All that.

What other ones are there?

I don't know.

It's fucking loads.

What's that?

It's a executive decision.

Oh yeah.

That's the one where Siegel dies.

A passage of 57.

It's not very good.

It's alright.

Snakes on a plane.

Yeah.

Do you know there's a snakes on a train?

There's a...

There's a Liam Neesomites quite good non-stop that's on a plane.

Yeah, that's alright, isn't it?

Yeah, that's not too bad.

There's a what's known as a train you had had, Russ.

I want John Wick.

It's just one John Wick film to just be here on a plane.

Yeah, that would be quite good because I'm totally bored of John Wick movies and I...

I haven't seen the newest one.

I started watching it and then we had eyes on it.

It's all turned it off.

Okay.

As I can remember watching it.

I'll watch it at some point.

Really enjoyed the first one.

And both went to cinema for the second one.

So nightmare on 20,000 feet.

So we see a plane flying along at night as well in a storm.

So it's not great.

Straight up my alley of this one is.

Hello.

And it isn't Holly on this plane.

John McLean isn't waiting for it at the hotel.

We got John Valentine played by John Lithgow and he's having a panic attack in the bathroom

on the plane.

Clearly this man doesn't like flying gas.

Yeah.

Have you ever witnessed anybody go crazy on a plane before?

No.

At some point Sarah's never been on a plane for different reasons.

And at some point I'm going to take her on a plane and hoping she's not going to freak

the fuck out.

But I'm almost expecting John Lithgow.

I saw a guy freak out when I was flying back from Canada on my own.

It was only one of the first four or five flights I'd ever done.

But I'd been to Hong Kong and back on my own and I went to Canada and back on my own.

And on my way back from Canada I could hear over the music on my headphones some shouting

on a listen.

Some guy was absolutely losing it because there was really bad turbulence and it kept

doing that thing with a plane sort of dropped and you'd feel your stomach go up with it.

And he was sort of shouting, "There's something wrong.

There's something wrong with this plane.

I'm telling you."

And they were trying to calm him down and he was starting to freak out some of the other

passengers.

And I think he ended up having a bit of a panic attack.

They took him off to the bit where near the toilets where you can't be seen.

They shut the curtains.

They calmed him down in the end.

They probably gave him some booze or something.

But the car he was really freaking out.

And I remember thinking, "This is way before final destination.

I remember thinking, 'What if he's right?

This is a bit weird.'

But it didn't last long.

It was only for a few minutes.

Yeah.

But yeah, John Valentine is in this bathroom.

The staff are knocking on the door and he just won't come out.

He takes the pill.

He's obviously got these pills to help him with his panic attacks.

They manage to help him back to see.

He is a sweaty, nervous mess, isn't he?

It is definitely not in a good place.

They dump him in his seat like he'd dump him.

There's lightning going on.

It's such a great setting.

It really is.

And it turns out he's an author because they say, "Oh, why don't you read your book?

Who wrote this?"

And he's like, "Me?"

And he says, "Can I leave the light on?"

And he says, "Yes, OK.

You'll be fine, sir, honestly.

But you must pass in your seat belt.

We've got really bad turbulence.

I'm going to tell you that."

So he lights the cigarette, which I'm guessing was OK about then on a plane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great.

James Woods would love that.

Yep.

His wife wouldn't.

But whether he's hallucinating or not, he looks around at this creepy fucking kid with

a ventriloquist doll who says, "You shouldn't smoke on the plane, buddy.

It's not good for you."

So he thinks, "Oh, I'm losing it here."

So he puts the cigarette out, a big fat guy in front of him turns around at him as well.

So he thinks, "Oh, just take some more pills."

More pills.

In these films, when these guys have got pills for their condition or their whatever, it's

they always take like handfuls over them at a time, don't they?

Yeah, and as soon as they take them, they work straight away.

Straight away.

It's always...

Literally, it's a fun way.

If you look at this, like in real life, it's like take four of these per day, live

four hours between each one.

On these films, it must just say, "Grab a handful of between 10 and 20.

Shuffle them into your mouth.

You'll be fine in seconds."

So they get along, lightning is still striking and that, but he looks out of his window and

he thinks he says something.

It's very creepily done.

If you didn't know the original story, the MTV episodes, you'd be like, "Did I see something

out of there?

I'm not quite sure."

And he looks at a few times and eventually figures out it looks like a man on the wing.

So he tells the air staff, "I think there's a man on the wing of the plane."

And they're like, "Sir, please, I don't think there is."

So they look outside, there's nothing out there.

No.

Of course.

He calms down a little bit.

Takes some more pills to fucking out.

Oh yeah, just the perfect solution takes more.

Even the airline's lady says to him, "I'm not really supposed to do this, sir, but I

do have some sleeping tablets, some sedatives.

I can give you a couple of if you want."

I don't know.

I just wanted to...

I just wanted to...

I don't care, you know.

I can't just inject this heroin into you, sir.

You'll be absolutely fine.

Now she says to him, "Try and get some sleep."

So he does.

He sort of lies back a bit.

Then he peeks out the window again.

And this time, there's this fucking face up against the glass.

Jesus Christ, Gav.

It's great.

It's really good effect.

I like it.

It's also, you don't expect it to be there that soon.

You might see it crawling in the distance again.

But it's right there up against the glass.

I like that choice.

Yeah, no, it's great.

It's a short film.

Get to it, you know.

George Miller, man.

So he screams, obviously, the passengers all start to be coming panics and it's concerned

now.

But the captain comes over and so he asks the captain to look out.

Please just look out there, you know.

Yeah.

There's obviously...

There's nothing when he looks.

And there's also a Sky Marshal there who says that I've got handcuffs.

I can handcuff him if you want.

I've got a gun.

I'm a Sky Marshal.

But now everyone gets calmed down.

He gets threatened with handcuffs before calming down.

He rants again.

He says to the captain, "One of the engines is out."

And he says, "All right, listen.

So between you and I, you're right.

One of the engines is out.

But this is whatever plane it is, a Boeing or whatever it is.

It's got four engines.

One of them is out.

It's very common for one engine to go.

I want a big plane like this, drawing a storm.

We're still going to fly.

We're still going to land.

It's all going to be fine.

But I can have the other passengers knowing about the engine.

So I need you to calm down."

So he's right.

One of the engines is out, but he's seen something tearing at the engine outside.

This thing that was up against the glass.

And he says, "Instently, how do you know about that?"

And he says, "Well, I saw something.

Something like that was ripping at it."

He doesn't believe him.

But how does he know?

So he should like, you know, but I guess there couldn't be anything out there that's

been logical, I suppose.

More terrible turbulence happens.

We see some of the passengers are praying now.

It's a really good fast-moving camera work, but I guess, you know, it's a director.

In a confined space.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's totally, well, that sort of direction went to...

It's from Max Fieri Road.

I was going to say that fast-moving camera, zooming along people...

Oh, I feel...

He's got two more mad Maxes coming out.

Have you seen the trailer for Furiosa?

I think so.

Which is the younger Charlies Theron character Furiosa.

It looks incredible.

And it's Liam Hemsworth's Thor.

He's the body in it.

And he's definitely channeling Mel Gibson in it because he's not playing a Mel Gibson character,

but you know, while Mel Gibson gets a bit crazy in movies like Riggs, there's a scene

at the end of the trailer where he's...

Liam Hemsworth sort of shouts something.

And you think, "Bloody L, that could have been...

Because he's got the Australian accent."

You think, "Bloody L, that could have been Mel Gibson then."

It doesn't look anything like Liam Hemsworth either.

He's got like a prosthetic nose and stuff.

But anyway, back to this.

Yeah, great camera angles and stuff like that.

The cameras are now praying, they're concerned.

This guy's kicking off.

He's been threatened by the handcuffs.

He's told everybody he's seen something on the wing, but also they are experiencing this

awful turbulence.

So it's not a great pleasant flight for a lot of people.

He sees the creature trashing the wing now.

It suddenly starts a fire.

So he grabs a camera and he thinks, "I'll take a picture of this with my Polaroid camera."

But of course, the reflection of the flash on the glass.

Well, you all know, nothing comes out if you do that.

Silly.

He tries to break the window with a fire extinguisher.

No.

That's the last stroke.

It's not.

Yeah, you can't do that.

So this guy Marshall comes flying over and there is a tuss...

Excuse me.

There is a tussle.

He grabs the gun from the sky marshall.

He shoots the window out.

Yep.

He starts hanging out the window and shooting at the creature.

The cabins depressurizing.

The passengers are all going crazy.

The gremlin runs...

Oh, this is terrifying.

Runs over to him, this big gremlin creature.

I'm an ops talking little gremlins from...

It's so good.

This is why this is the best episode.

It really is.

It grabs the gun, doesn't it, and destroys it with one hand?

Yeah.

And then possibly the most terrifying thing it does is it holds up one finger and just

goes...

Eh, eh, eh.

Yeah.

And you're like, "This thing is just playing with it."

"This thing is there to kill those people, destroy them."

Awful.

Um, but it then, weirdly, it flies off into the sky to go and destroy whatever it's supposed

to do next.

And they do manage to land the plane just about, even though he's depressurized the entire

cabin and they've only got three of four engines.

Thankfully, they land the plane.

And we're sort of mixing this into our epilogue now because they put them on a stretch and

they're about to put them in an ambulance.

And they're all discussing the incident.

"How did he get a...

He had a gun.

He must have been a terrorist."

And the sky marshal says, "No, no, no, it was my gun.

He took it from me.

I think it was just a guy on the brink, man.

It's all good.

Is the plane okay?

Yeah, I think we lost an engine though."

And then they look up and there's a guy on the wings in.

"You guys gotta see this!"

And there's like Wolverine, Freddy Krueger, a claw marks all over the wing where something's

been clawing and ripping out.

"He was right all along."

"He was right all along."

"He had a capsule of a ship that night, a night, a bed when he sleeps.

He'd be like, 'He was right.

He was right all along all over.'

So they put them in an ambulance, poor old John Nithko.

"He's a driver."

"Raced Ants."

"Yeah."

"Darn that kid.

He's doing rough flater.

Man, if I put on a bit of music, is that okay?"

And he's like, "Ah, yeah, sure, whatever."

He puts on the bit of the old, "It's the midnight special."

"Shang-a-lada on me."

And then he says, "Hey, you want to see something really scary?"

And then the end speech kicks in, which is you've just experienced it and all the other

stuff.

And that's the end.

So we end on a high.

He did end on a high and he started off with a "Darn that's the best bits."

"Cut out the other three segments."

I know what you mean.

I keep the Jay Donte one.

Yeah, Jay Donte's fun, I guess.

Maybe just those couple then.

But imagine these would have been worked better.

Had they been, you're exactly right.

Had they been cut up into their actual segments.

And I tell you what, Masters of Horror.

A show like that would have done really well on that.

Did you see the Jay Donte episode of Masters of Horror?

George Miller.

But this was filmed and aimed at going on a cinema and making a lot of money.

Yeah.

And it did make money.

It did make a lot of money.

I still feel that.

I don't know.

It's one of those.

If they do cut out that first segment, you've only got those three segments.

And that's that first on the Spielberg one.

You could be watching it going...

Fffffffffff.

You know.

It'd be quite short film as well, wouldn't it?

It would.

That's the problem.

So that's keeping these reasons.

But...

But imagine if they'd have got rid of the John Land, this segment, and Spielberg could

then puff up his segment a little bit and make it a little bit better.

And then they put in another director.

Maybe if they did that.

And Spielberg said, "Look how I have to extend a bit."

Yeah.

"It's a bit longer so we can feel the characters more.

Have it as the middle story."

Imagine if they had a big meeting.

This is just...

That's just a first.

This is me fantasizing now.

But John Land, this is segments gone.

They have a big meeting and they say, "Look, we've got John Carpenter, he says he wants

to do a segment for this movie."

Or George Romero.

George Romero is more like it after dinner.

I said, "I keep shade just not like long before."

Let's throw an extra segment in by somebody else.

Puff out the...

George Romero been perfect.

Make this Spielberg section a bit better.

Yeah.

It's interesting.

I actually prefer a cat's eye.

Spielberg's almost an odd one out, to be honest, of those two...

Yeah, he really is.

You know, he touched on horror by...

Oh, he's too big, but he's too epic.

He was obviously Jules.

He was involved heavily in poltergeist.

He did...

Even E.T. has got some horrific parts to it.

He's still a horror side of it.

It's just that he's a different type of filmmaker to these toys.

Yeah.

He's not...

Okay, I guess it's this couple of movies for

it's a real number.

Thing though, isn't he?

You know, it's not many people like him.

He's the best.

He's the best storyteller.

Yeah.

With regards to a director.

I just don't feel like he worked well with the short form in this film.

Anyway...

It felt to me like his heart wasn't in it.

For obvious reasons.

Yeah.

But yeah, anyway, look, I prefer a cat's eye overall, but this is still a must watch.

If you've really seen it.

I prefer this, I need to be...

But I need that in storey again.

If you've not seen it, you probably should watch it.

But let me explain why though, because cat's eye I can watch from beginning to end.

And each segment is short and snappy enough.

This is four segments that two of them I could kind of do without a little bit.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

So in its entirety, I prefer a cat's eye.

Yeah, I guess so.

Put these in order then, these four stories from bottom to top for me.

You're opinion.

Spielberg bottom, same thing for me.

So bottom, then I guess it's going to have to...

I don't know actually.

I guess it would possibly be...

Take out the respect thing, because I really wish the other one was taking out the respect.

But take it out of the way, I'm going to then go...

A thing with Jiggy, Joe Donte.

Then I'll go the Nazi one.

Wow, okay.

Then I'll go the...

Obviously.

I switched.

I switched...

I'm the same as you, but I switched the middle two round.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Because there's something unsettling about that, Joe Donte, one and up for me.

Oh, I do.

Do you want to end this one?

I'm trying to tell the racist, and this is what you get.

I like the something there.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, you know.

Isn't it ironic he was trying to tell a story about having good morals.

I had to do the right thing.

And treating people.

How ironic, I just realised that.

I respect.

How strange.

But if you've never seen Twilight Zone in the movie, it's definitely worth a watch.

But be warned, the first two segments are a bit meh.

But it's worth sticking around for the final two.

Yeah.

And that opening and final scene title together so well.

Damn, Aquoid.

You can't go wrong with a Camo from Dan Aquoid.

You can't go wrong with a Camo from Dick Miller.

Is the better, more well-made film, but I prefer a cat's eye.

But it is a thumbs up from me.

And I'm assuming a thumbs up from you for the most part.

Yeah, for the most part.

Yeah.

So, Mr. Shane, Shane, it's got that thing attached to it, the incident.

But there we go.

Anthologies.

We may come back to Anthologies someday.

There's a lot of good British ones from Amicus and some other studios, which we may cover

at some point in future.

This is our American Anthology.

I might get us a little British one.

What do you think?

Yeah, you could do.

There's a few.

It's a mold school ones as well.

There's a test of crypt and shit like that.

Yeah.

Oh, look at that.

But yeah, there we go.

I enjoyed talking about these with you, Gavin.

Thank you so much.

That's fine.

I think it's probably time that we vanish and come back from our outro so we can say

our goodbyes.

Let's do it.

And we're back.

We are back to say goodbye.

Well, there we go.

That was our Anthology special.

Enjoy doing that.

I love horror anthologies.

They've always loved, like you said earlier, I think you summed it up with some of them,

particularly like the VHS ones and some of the newer ones.

It is a bit hit and miss, isn't it?

But the good thing about them is you know they're only going to be a short story.

Let's move on to the next one.

And you do usually get a couple of good ones in each anthology.

Yeah.

But yeah, there we go.

So that was episode 145.

That means our next episode is doubly special because not only is it our annual Christmas

special where we're going to be discussing the National Lampion Christmas vacation from

1989, but it's also got our 10 years anniversary, which is crazy that we've been doing this

for a decade.

We've come a long way and we've covered a lot of films.

So looking forward to that.

Guys, if you've got to this point, this is my reminder to get any messages or anything

you want read out to me as soon as you can or to us.

You can email: the podcast on haunted hill outlook.com.

You can message me on Facebook.

You can just drop us a line anywhere ready you want to and we will include that even

if it's a voice clip or anything really, we'll get it included in the show.

But yeah, so that'll be National Lampion Christmas vacation and we'll be discussing what it's

like being a podcast over the last 10 years, some of our favorite moments and just a few

sort of highlights and silly things that have happened throughout the years really because

it's been a long time.

After that though, our first episode of 2024, which sounds like an Arnold Schwarzenegger

movie, way off in the future, is going to be a patron pick and it's Matthew Godley.

-Patreon, patreon, patreon, patreon.

-I'm still conning.

-It's somewhere.

-So, Matthew Godley, the man that started it, all the man that came up with the concept

for patron pick, he has picked and selected a great way to kick off the new year with

Flash Gordon from 1980.

-Flash.

-Ahhh.

-He's there for every one of us.

And he's paired it up with a slightly different Dead Man shoes from 2004.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-We're going to have one side, very light and bright and airy, fairy and fluffy and the

other side, it's going to get dark guys, so stick with us.

-Good man, she's great.

-And then after that, Gav, it's your birthday episode.

And you've selected.

Why don't you tell us what you've selected?

-I have indeed selected two films of different varying degrees, that's for sure.

So, we live free to cancel from somebody or something.

-Transporting liquid nitrogen and a jeep across the desert, is that right?

-Yep.

-That can't wait.

-That's the film, that's basically the plot of the film.

-Yep, never seen it.

-And then the other one is G06, C6, just because I, I went to cinema to watch it and I really

enjoyed it as a, they know exactly what I feel when I'm making it and it's a band making

a film.

Dave Grohl is actually pretty perfect as this role and it's great and John Cops is in it.

He has a little cameo, he's a producer and it just, it feels like a perfect 80s horror

movie like you'd find back in the day in the video shop.

-And I've never seen that one either, so it's going to be-

-It's like an Italian one but it's set in America or something.

-I was going to watch it when it hit Netflix in the UK a couple of weeks ago but I'm going

to hold off on watching it now until then because I want to go into both of those fresh.

-It's just really enjoyable movie and I was just really surprised.

It's better than like some horror movies out there which try and do that thing, try and

be 80s.

These guys just look really well and I'm just like, where's this come from?

When did you all just sit around and go, do you know what we should do?

-We're banned but let's make a horror movie which is like an 80s horror movie.

They obviously love that sort of era of horror movies.

-It's definitely a pat on the back to them if John Carpenter liked it enough to be in

it because he does not come out of his cupboard very often these days.

-Yeah, I don't want to say it, it's a music for it but I'm not sure.

But anyway, it's an enjoyable film, there's a lot of gore in it as well.

So that'll be episode 148 Gams birthday special.

-Proper gore as well, it's like you kind of very 80s horror movie, yeah, extreme.

-So those three episodes will take us up to the end of January.

So that's Christmas, patron pick and a birthday episode.

So nice way to start off the year.

I don't forget any episode that isn't a birthday or a franchise special or a patron pick for

2024 because it is our tenth year.

It will be a director special so you're going to get a good half dozen or more director

specials throughout 2024 which will be fun as well.

Right, let me do some admin, let me say the admin and then we can say goodbye, Scaven.

-Yep.

-Okay, so as always we are the podcast on On Today.

We'll probably remember of the Legion podcasts network and we have been for 10 bloody years.

-I know.

-That's crazy.

You can find out more about Legion if you go to Legionpodcasts.com that's where us and

all the other shows under the network are available.

Also on Facebook, Legion podcasts have a Facebook page as do we, the podcast on Haunted Hill.

We built up a community, I had somebody say to me that they should be really proud of

the community that you've built and I thought that's so touching of someone to say.

But they said you should be proud, it's a really lovely community you've built and I've

made some genuine friends.

-We built this community.

-Our horror films.

-We've known each other way too long.

But we have and we've got some great friends in there and you guys can join it too.

It is now a private group but as long as you're not a bot, I can allow you to join the group.

-Or a dick.

-Or a dick.

-Or a dick.

We don't really have any dicks, we only ever had one dick and we got rid of him.

That was a long time ago.

Yeah, so go to Facebook search for Legion, search for the podcast on Haunted Hill.

You can contact me on Facebook, you can contact me on or us on the podcast on Haunted Hill

at Outlook.com and we're available wherever you're listening to us now.

Spotify, YouTube, PodKnove, Apple, Podcast, Adlets and any other good place you can listen

to podcasts.

We are also on Instagram which is just somewhere I really basically promote the show.

The podcast on Haunted Hill.

Insta.

You heard us mention Sanctuary Moon a couple of times, our Star Wars horror film that we

made, the short film.

Then we did that through our production company, Deadbolt Films.

We have a website which is Deadboltfilms.com and more importantly we have a YouTube channel,

Deadbolt Films.

We're also on Instagram under Deadbolt Films.

So yeah, go there.

-Check out our YouTube channel.

-We're just coming up on 32,000 views now which we're very proud of.

It has its peaks and troughs.

Some days you get 1000s if you use the other days it slows down.

But people are watching it and we get lots of good comments on it and we're extremely

proud of it.

Finally, we are also on Patreon.

If you want to essentially sponsor the show and donate some money to help us make the

show grow and continue to grow and keep it ticking over for as little as a pound a month

or as much as you want.

We would do this as always.

We would do this for free.

The fact that we have people helping us out through Patreon means that we can buy equipment,

headphones, mics and other large pieces of equipment sometimes.

We can also just rent or buy more obscure films to review and watch.

It really does help.

-Yes, thank you very much.

-Yes, we're really thankful to our patrons.

I'm not sure how long we've had Patreon now, probably five years probably.

-Yeah, so thank you so much for coming on.

-Yes, thank you guys.

If you become a patron there are perks.

Obviously, you will get a call out at the end of each show which I'll do in a moment.

You will get a t-shirt in one of three colors sent to you directly and you get to participate

in the patron picks.

So you'll get to pick two movies that can be horror, horror adjacent cult sci-fi as long

as they're in that kind of vein.

We will cover them.

Tell us why you love them.

Tell us your favorite bits about them, how you first watch them, whatever you want to

do.

We'll read all of that out and you get to wear the crown and be the king and/or queen

of that episode.

That's every three episodes of Patreon pick.

If you want to become a patron just go to Patreon and search for the podcast on On To

The Hill.

If you can't find it, email me on that email address: the podcast on Haunted Hill at

outlook.com or message me and I'll point you in the right direction.

You don't have to do it but if you want to, we will love you for it.

-Yes, we will.

-As always, thank you to our patrons who I when I thank in a series of voices, probably

just going to be normal voices.

I think this is time, Garth.

-Yeah, maybe.

-That's just normal voices.

So thank you very much to Don Kohl, yeah?

-Thank you.

-Don, we did get your message or email.

I'm going to reply to your email actually but I just wanted to let you know it did get

it and yes, we got everything that you sent us so thank you very much.

Thank you also to Matthew Godley.

-Thank you.

-Mathy, thank you for sending me that DVD.

You're a legend.

Appreciate that.

I'm setting up the whole, suggesting the whole patron thing.

Thank you to Jamie Jenkins.

-Thanks Jamie.

-Jamie, you've been here from the beginning.

Thank you so much.

What can I say?

-Is this like a reward to ceremony?

-But she has.

She's always been supportive.

-Come on, come on, come on, get your reward.

-Thank you to Kevin S5 as well.

You've been a long time listener as well.

Sarah Kay.

-Thank Sarah.

-I've been there from the beginning Rachel.

You're a real life friend as well as a patron supporter.

We love you loads.

-So is that?

-RJ, you've become pretty much a best friend of ours.

We love you to bits.

-Exactly.

-Thank you so much, RJ McCready.

And Lex Boo, thank you so, so much for all your support over the years.

-Thank you very much, yes indeed.

-You guys are all awesome.

We love you all so much.

We cannot say that enough.

So that's it.

Gavin, we will be back for some Christmas shenanigans.

So let's get that, get that mistletoe up.

At the stockings field, we're going to come down your chimney.

We're going to empty our sacks.

-All over the place.

-And we're going to get eggnog all over our faces.

And all in my beard.

But yeah, that's Christmas is coming, baby.

-Yeah, yeah.

Looking forward to watching some Christmas films.

All right, cool.

Yeah, we'll be back again for the Christmas episode.

Thanks very much.

-Cheers guys.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye.

Thank you for listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill.

We will be back again real soon.

-Oh!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Don't be dead.

Dead.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, oh, oh.

-Oh, oh.

-Don't be dead.

-Oh, no tears, please.

-Oh, oh, oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Don't be dead.

-Oh, oh, oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, oh, oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Don't be dead.

-Don't be dead.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, oh, oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Don't be dead.

-Don't be dead.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Shh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

(rocks harden)